The Anti-Austen: Search results for sweater guy

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Most RM sisters have told me what a trial it will be the 6 weeks before I go into the MTC, with all the boys that will want to date me. I find it highly ironic that not only is this NOT happening, but I seem to be more awkward around men than ever! I can't even imagine how I'll be after I get back.

If only it was September 7th already...

Oh, what was that you asked? You're wondering how my farewell went?

Well, I shall tell you. Aside from the normal nerves of giving a talk, I was petrified all weekend about seeing Sweater Guy. But I just decided that if I remained cool, calm, and collected. All would be well.

As my 1:30 Sacrament Meeting start time approached, the palms of my hands got clammier and clammier. And then I just told myself that Sweater Guy probably wouldn't come anyway. It wouldn't be the first time he let me down. The opening hymn was sung, many of my friends were sitting in the audience. But no Sweater Guy.
And then, to my utter embarrassment, he shows up 20 minutes late, swaggering in the back with his best friend. They were wearing matching ties. I'm still not quite sure why. But the worst of it was Sweater Guy's MULLET. Some sort of obvious stunt to make me think he was really funny. Why did I not see him for the hipster he was!?!
Well, I didn't think it was funny. And I also didn't think it was funny that he was sitting in the back, goofing off with his best friend while I was speaking.
He waited patiently for his turn to talk to me after the meeting was over. But people kept cutting in front of him, and I made no effort to stop them.
I finally greeted him with a "Thank you so much for coming!"
And that was that.
I really dodged a bullet there. The door is shut on Sweater Guy forever I'm happy to say!

Monday morning dawned and I was in a fantastic mood. I signed onto Facebook. And what do I have but a message from Mr. Advice. My very first boyfriend. The one I almost married.
(insert gulping sound here)

Here is an excerpt of what he wrote:

I feel scared and sick sometimes when I think of how things went with us. I know we weren't right for each other. You sensed that before I did. But even so, you gave me so much. I hate to think I took from you. I still feel that those memories should be good memories instead of what they feel like now. I loved those times and I want to always cherish them. But I don't feel allowed to. Maybe that is how it should be but I wish it wasn't. I'm sorry if this is inappropriate. It very well might be. But this is how I feel. I'm sorry. I can't regret too many things because I am happy but if it was at the expense of others, you, well that can be hard to accept some nights.

He also congratulated me on my call and said that I will be a blessing to the people in Korea. You might think that I was torn up inside at hearing from him. But indeed, dear readers, I was not. We dated two years ago. And although all my boyfriends now have to live with the shadow of the perfect boyfriend that he was, I really have come to terms with the fact that he married someone else.

Do you want to know what I wrote back? Well, ok. Here it goes, but just for the sake of your curiosity.

Thank you so much for this letter. I understand how much courage it must have taken for you to send it to me.
We had always talked about me going on a mission. Remember? So I'm glad that you found out in some way. I had hoped that you would.

I really want you to never regret any portion of our relationship. You were such a good boyfriend. And so right for me at that time in my life.

But I am not that little girl anymore.

It hasn't been easy for me to get to this point, but I can honestly say that I am completely at peace with everything that happened. The only real regret I have are some of the things I said in anger. And I am sorry for that. I realize now that you handled things in the most delicate, tactful way possible. Your wife, from what I understand, is so perfect for you. And everything that I couldn't be or give. I wish you both the most blissful happiness the world has to offer. Really, and truly, I'm saying that with all the honesty I have in my person.

So rest easy.
I am happy.

I hope this gives you the closure you need! Don't worry about me! I'm happy you think of me as a fond memory from your distant past. That's how it should be. Please share this letter with your wife. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. She brought you happiness at a dark time in your life, and has now illuminated it with a great brightness that glows brighter than wattage I can muster.
Be happy.
Have lots of hippie babies.
And please, don't stop creating; especially joy in those around you. That was always your greatest talent.

So, I guess I have closure. Who would've thought a mission would be what does it? (I find this song most appropriate)

I apologize for the novel of a post dear readers. I've been thinking lately that maybe the subjects of my posts have just become too personal, and that perhaps it disturbs the privacy of those I write about. But when I read your emails of support and love, the ones that thank me for being an inspiration, I can't not write.

Hopefully, I'll find a man one day who's ok with a woman that writes...

Happy Wednesday readers!
-the Romantic

Dear Anti-Austens,

Personally, I’ve never read a Jane Austen novel, nor have I watched a true Jane Austen film. (I know, it’s a travesty.) However, I stumbled upon your blog and I think I’m hooked! Do you give advice? I have little experience with dating, especially the BYU dating culture, and my life’s a little complicated right now.

I’m in a semi-awkward/undefined relationship with a guy from my major. It’s complicated because our major is a small group of mostly girls and he’s one of the few guys. He first knew I was interested in him at the end of winter semester, but things were crazy and I was leaving for the summer. We texted sporadically for a couple months, but I always felt like I was trying to start or carry the conversation, just to talk to him. So then, I found out I was going to be visiting in Provo for a couple days and he surprised me by inviting me to watch a movie with him. Well, we’ve seen 2 movies (in the 3 days I’ve been in town), one at his place (which was spontaneous and late-r at night) and one at the theater (which was his original invitation).

I’m confused because he asked me both times, yet he didn’t make any effort to break the “friends” barrier. I even gave him every opportunity to sit close, put his arm around me, hold my hand, etc! Grrrrr, I just wish I could read his mind! Is he worried about having a long-distance relationship? Is he not interested in being more than friends? Is he worried about it getting awkward if it doesn’t work out (because our class is really small)? Does it bother him that I’m so much younger than him?...

So, Anti-Austens, if you have any advice, please send it my way. I could really use it.

Sincerely,

JUST friends?

Recently we've received a bombardment of emails here at the Anti-Austen. And for the very first time ever, we've received our very first email asking for advice. Here goes my first attempt at a reply:

Dear JUST Friends,
When I was 19, I met a boy in my German class. Later, we happened to go on a study abroad together. During that time, we both decided on a major. It happened to be the same one. Art History. It was like I couldn't escape him even if I tried. He even ended up being in a class I TA'ed for. Somehow along the way, we became really great friends. And I convinced myself that we were meant to be, and also that I was in love with him. When Sweater Guy and I broke up the first time, he was there to hold while I cried, and to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. He was also there every other time Sweater Guy and I broke up, offering me ice cream when I needed it. But during the times when I was single, I was always so confused. Why didn't he ever ask me out? We were perfect for each other! And it was obviously meant to be, or otherwise we wouldn't keep ending up in the same classes right?

But, during the time I was dating Sweater Guy, he started dating someone else. And now they are married. And here's what I've learned through the whole experience.

Sometimes boys may come into our lives, and though we may be the best of friends, that may be the only thing we're ever meant to be.

And it's ok. Because you know what? This guy, the one who's been my best friend for so long, is still one of my very dear friends. I still have no clue to this day if he ever knew that I had feelings for him. But I don't care. His wife is simply fantastic. And he and I still make obscure art reference jokes to each other all the time. We're like brother and sister now.

It's hard because every girl wants their own Mr. Knightley. We want to fall in love with our best friend. But after months and months of this guy never making a move, I realized that I needed to move on. It's ok to be his friend still. But if you've made yourself available and he's not holding your hand or pushing those wisps of hair behind your ear when they fall in front of your face, then it's time to find a man who will.

And I most sincerely believe that he's out there for you!

-the Romantic

Well, we've heard what Miss Romantic has to say. But what about the rest of you? Do you have any advice for our dear reader?
-the Anti-Austens

Remember how I went out with the boy I met on the freeway?

I guess I failed to mention that there was another car boy. A funnier/cuter one. Well after the first car boy added me on facebook, so did car boy 2, who happens to be car boy 1's room mate.

Well one thing leads to another, and Car Boy 2 and I end up going out for ice cream Tuesday night. And I felt like a bit of a floozy. Because I don't think car boy 1 knows we went out. Which wouldn't be a super big deal I guess. Except I think he had a good time on our date, and when he stopped by today to pick up the all sports pass I borrowed last weekend, he gave me a hug goodbye. And I don't think he's one of those hugger types. Originally, he raised his hand for a high five, but then just switched to both arms wide open... awkward awkward awkward

But I think I could like car boy 2!! It was the first date I've been on this semester where I haven't thought, "Oh hey this is fun. But I wish I was here with Sweater Guy". So that's good right? I think he had a good time. He mentioned wanting to hang out again. And we have texted a bit this week. I invited him to a bonfire tonight. But he's out of town this weekend.

On another note: We will title this "Coincidence or not?" (It's like getting two blog posts for the price of one!!!)
Sweater Guy's best friend emails me on Sunday to see how I'm doing. It was kind of random. But not completely out of character. We were close-ish. But since we're not in the same social group anymore, I haven't talked to him in over a month. I answer back with the usuals. I tell I still miss Sweater Guy but that I'm doing ok. And even dating people. And then mysteriously, the next morning, I awaken to three missed calls. All in a row. All from a blocked number.
1:05 am. 1:06. 1:07 am. No Messages.
Of course I didn't answer because I was asleep. My suspicion is that they were from Sweater Guy. And I don't know why he would call me, except that the next day was the Sufjan Stevens concert. Which we were supposed to attend together. And maybe he missed me... Later in the week he messages me on facebook. This message is just a link about lil wayne getting out of prison. Lil Wayne was a little inside joke we had when we first started dating. I don't know what he's up to these days. He could already be dating someone else. Which is whatever.

Are all these events connected? Or is it just my over active imagination?
But even if they weren't, I was still upset at his popping back into my life without any explanation. Last time we talked he hung up the phone on me because it's too painful to be my friend. Which kind of felt like someone ripping my heart from my chest and beating it with a mallet. So is he saying he's ready to be friends? Because I'm not really sure a) I want to be his friend and b) maybe it's still too painful for me too.

Well that's all folks. I need to go mull this mess over.... Have a pleasant date night!

xoxo
-the Romantic

There was a dark period of my life last summer where I didn't write on the Anti-Austen that much.

Everything was just too personal. And it hurt too much to broadcast all over the internet. But I think I'm ready to finally write about. I actually think I need to in a way. Maybe it will help me heal. Finally. After all these months.

So Sweater Guy. You've heard me mention him, yes?

The real reason our relationship ended, the real reason I deleted him from my life, the real reason that my heart still hurts when I think about him sometimes is that he cheated on me.

There, that's my big secret. I finally told you all, my dear, dear readers and friends who've been so faithful throughout this whole mess I call my dating life.

The thing is, I knew exactly why he did it. I, the girl who understood him better than anyone else, who made him happier than anyone else, knew exactly why he would hurt me the way that he did.

We were getting serious. And he got scared. It was a repeating pattern with him. The "I love you" would barely be on the tip of his lips, and then he'd run away. Quite the coward.

To give you some background, this happened last August, whilst he was on a trip re-visiting his mission. I didn't hear from him hardly the first week he was gone. So I wrote him an email, in my usual playful tone, essentially saying, "Hey, I'm freaking out that I haven't heard from you. But we're ok right?" He sent me an email back saying it was a mistake that we were together. So I called him in Brazil. We talked, he told me he set up a date with one of the girls there.

In a moment of forgiveness (it was actually because I'd watched this video that weekend, too sick to go to church that week), I tried to tell him that I cared about him so much. I told him that if she was what really could make him happy, then I couldn't really be upset if she wanted to be with her. Could I?

Days later he called me. I should mention here that I had to move apartments, and I had come down with pneumonia and bronchitis. I barely got out of bed that week.

He was crying.
Still in Brazil.
He had kissed her.
He felt awful.
He loved me.
He never appreciated me the way that he should have.

Here's the other kicker. I was house sitting his plants and his computer while he was gone.

So he comes back from Brazil. We agree to talk. It's a long drawn out emotional three hour conversation the Sunday before school started.

He told me that if he still felt about me the same way that he did by his next birthday, he would do everything he could to get me back and marry me.

Can you see how emotionally traumatizing this was?

He left a huge ...

I don't really need to tell you all the little in between's that went on. I wrote about enough of those I think.

But the point is,

I ran into him today on campus. Only a few hours ago.

And I don't know if I'm as over him as I thought. I was just telling my room mates last night I haven't really felt that something for any guy since him. (which is one of the many reasons I broke up with Mr. Ute last term)

I think he's been dating someone for quite a few months. I imagine that they're engaged by now, or will be soon. I didn't ask.

I did tell him that my mission papers are in.
It wasn't an awkward run-in. At least not by my standards.
But as I turned and walked into work, my hands were shaking as I reached into my purse to call my room mate. I was hyperventilating for a few seconds as I walked towards the JSB.

This guy was one of my best friends. At one point in my life, he knew me more intimately than anyone else. But I haven't talked to him for six months. I guess it's no wonder seeing him set me shaking.

One ironic thing though, the take home message from this whole experience I guess you could say: This morning during work, before I had seen him, I decided to listen to Elder Scott's fireside from last September. I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships lately, and the way that men should treat women. So I listened to the talk, and I remembered how I felt listening to it last September. I remembered how in the Marriot Center I knew without a doubt that Sweater Guy was not the right guy for me. I deserve and want a man who will treat me the way that Elder Scott treats his sweet Janine.

Sitting here typing this, I'm again getting that sweet confirmation that one day, there will be that guy. There will be that guy who holds me close and tells me he loves me. That guy who will leave me notes, and be happy that I've left them back. That guy who will love kids, and honors his priesthood.

Forget the artsy types.

That's all I'm really looking for.

But, isn't that what every girl is looking for?

-the Romantic

Moving into my new complex was probably the best decision I've ever made. My life is absolutely wonderful in every aspect. Expect the man department; which is just confusing. Let's recap.

The men in my life:

First there's Sweater Guy (we dated last semester). He doesn't really wear sweaters any more. Which is fine. Since he's just as attractive wearing t-shirts. We text from time to time. Arrangements were made for us to longboarding on Friday, but the thought of being with him alone seemed tortuous. Like pushing a bruise on purpose. So I decided to cancel because it might rain. That and I didn't do anything I might regret, like proclaim how much I like him, and that I we should get married(what? where did that come from?). But, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I hung out with him yesterday. Until 1 in the morning. I thought I was over him for sure.... I guess not. I had the best conversation I've ever had with him last night. Why is it so much easier to talk to him now that we're not dating? If you're thinking it might be a bad idea for me to date him again, you would be right. But I can't help myself in times such as these.

Then there's the Best Friend. My personal Mr. Kinghtley, whom I swore I was in love with in my last post. I should probably go over a little bit of our history. We met in a language class two years ago. We ended up on the same study abroad last fall semester. And we've had a least once class together since my sophomore year. And we're in the same major. So for the past two years, I've seen him more days then I haven't.
the Best Friend has been there for me through a lot. He was there when Mr. Advice Dear Jane'd me whilst on our study abroad. When Sweater Guy dumped me this last semester, he immediately came over and held me while I cried. He brought over sparkling cider when I moved into my new place. He let me borrow his car last week. Today he texted me and asked me what section of TMA 102 I was in so he could try and get in. And then I find we're already taking another class together! Oh, and I'm TAing a class of his this summer term. I cannot escape him even if I wanted to! We should be dating right? Nope. I just found out shortly after the last post he just started to date someone in his ward. Gah! We are ridiculously perfect for each other. My past boyfriends have always been jealous of him. But whenever I've tried to flirt or bring up the topic of us dating, I feel like he totally shuts me down. So, I stopped trying. But we text at least every other day. And the other day, after I told him I owed him a home made desert for letting me borrow his car, he tells me he'd rather go out for shakes or something so we can hang out and talk rather than the alternative. To the guy readers out there: What is the Best Friend's deal? I'm thoroughly confused!!

There's a few guys in my ward that I would date for sure. But no one really sticks out very much. And most of them seem to be interested in my roomie anyway. So nothing here.

So to sum up:
Sweater Guy is insanely attractive, but only interested in me as a longboarding buddy probably.
I have no idea what the Best Friend wants with me. A better grade in his class this summer maybe?
And I'm still single, but hopeful...

Until next time
xoxo
-the Romantic

I suppose I should have given more background to the Yom Kippur date.

On my study abroad, I met one of my now dearest friends. We will call her The Dramatic One. Her life is very dramatic. Mostly in a good, distracting, exciting way. The Dramatic One has been IN LOVE with this boy for about three years now. We will call him Skeleton (because I think he kind of looks like one).

We've always wondered what the Skeleton's intentions towards the Dramatic One were. But after a letter fall out just before he came home from his mission, we all figured love would never flourish between the two, unless it was the platonic kind.

Now, enter in new school year. I spend basically all of my time with the Dramatic One. It helps me to take my mind off of Sweater Guy (more to come on that later). In the process, I meet Skeleton and all of his room mates. I absolutely adore them all. They are the perfect guys. PEEEEERRRRRFECT. I would marry them. Individually, and as a whole...Yeah. But the two I really like are in that pre-relationship stage. (BOO!) So, that leaves us with Skeleton who is best friends with my best friend the Dramatic One. Are you still following dear reader?

So Skeleton is texting the Dramatic One. He asks her which of her friend she should ask out. She tells him to ask me because I just broke it off with my boyfriend and I need to be around a really good guy. Hence the Yom Kippur fireside!

It was an ok date. Short and sweet. He topped it off by giving me a mixed cd at the end of the night with some of my favorite bands:

Vampire Weekend

Belle and Sebastian

The Decemberists

Animal Collective

Great way to win my heart right?

So here's the deal. The Dramatic One swears she's ok with the date because she really doesn't think anything will happen between them. So I go. But I'm confused. Because the more I interact with the two, the more I think he really does like her. He has the look. You all know the look right? The look a guy gives a girl when he thinks she's the most amazing person he's ever met. They text allllll the time. When hanging out in a group, his attention is mostly directed at her. That sort of thing.

He told her he thought I hated the date and that saying good bye to me was awkward because my complex is so busy.... Well, here are my thoughts: Something maybe could happen with the Skeleton, but maybe I'm not really ready to date anyone. Even if they do send me hilarious texts wishing me a happy autumnal equinox. Also, I'm not really that interested. And I want to somehow hook it up between Skeleton and the Dramatic One.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a love triangle. Only I'm not really in love with anyone. Skeleton just hasn't realized he's in love yet. And the Dramatic One will never confess her feelings.

What a conundrum.

but about Sweater Guy... did I mention we said goodbye forever? Well, we tried to. Or I tried to. I deleted him from everything. Phone, facebook, the whole deal. It was just better for me that way.

He called on my birthday. He has a present for me. Gah. He still hasn't given it to me yet. We shall see how it goes...

xoxo

-the Romantic

There has been a boy in the ward that I have had a crush on since I first saw him over a year ago.

But he was dating someone. And it looked like it was going towards marriage, so I never got the chance to even talk to him very much. Then they broke up.

But I was dating Sweater Guy.

And then Sweater Guy and I broke up. And it's taken me, oh, 8 months to get over him. (which is just about as long as we dated if you do the math right)

I've gotten to know this perfect guy better over the past couple weeks, and more has come out about how perfect he really is.
He's a member of the model UN.
He volunteers with inner city kids.
He graduated in the top 5% of his class.

Basically, the list goes on and on. Hence my creeper love for him.

I always thought he was too good for me. Forget being out of my league, it's as though we lived on separate planets.
But now I'm thinking maybe not.

Which is why when he invited me to go to Zion's this weekend, I said yes. He also invited my roomie (too bad she has class! i'm just kidding girl, you know i love you)

Every girl in the ward is practically in love with Mr. Perfect. We've all told him numerous times that any girl in the ward would die to go out with him. He doesn't believe us, which just adds to his humble charm.

But he's also leaving in a month to do Teach for America....

I think I'm turning into quite the flirt. I don't know how it happened. Maybe it started when I began living with my roomies, who are the fabled type of girls that go out on multiple dates a week. But, if there's any time to start embracing this new aspect of myself, I suppose it should be now! Get ready Mr. Perfect, you and I are gonna have lots of fun this weekend (insert elbow grab here).

xoxo
-the Romantic

It's so dreary and gray outside... I guess we can take consolation in the fact that it means the mountains will be particularly green in a couple weeks. Right?

Well just in case the thought of green mountains doesn't cheer you up, check out this adorable proposal story.

My roomies were pumping me up all yesterday to go and talk to that European Studies major that I met at FHE on Monday. And I just couldn't do it. I chickened out. I even had a really good excuse. He's selling these shoes he brought back over from the last time he was in Bulgaria. And I want a pair. Yes, I would spend 10 bucks to buy a pair of shoes just to talk to a guy. Also, they're cool shoes. But I am bound and determined to talk to him! My roomies forbade me from starting up anything causal over facebook chat. So I guess I have to do this in person... GAH. I realized I haven't really freaked out over a guy like this since Sweater Guy. As in, I think I think a guy is so unbelievably cool he will never want to talk to me in a million years. This may be good for me though, I should talk to him. Even just to be friends. I bet he has some cool stories.

However, I've found a lacking in my confidence department lately. I never heard from Egg Guy ever again. I think I must have scared him off.

Such is life right?

Happy Wednesday
-the Romantic

It appears I'm stuck in the convoluted, ambiguous gray area that comes with "dating" someone, but not dating them exclusively.

Oh Sweater Guy, how you torture me!

Skipping all the boring details, I guess I should just say that we hung out friday night, had a great time palling around.

He said he wants to "court" me, but not have a girlfriend(and yes, those quotes mean he actually used that word). I know it sounds like he's reading me a line, but because of the complexities of the situation, I'm inclined to believe him. BUT I WANT TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND! baaaaaahhhh!!!! (don't read too much into that last sentence, or the following exclamation. I'm in a very dramatic state of mind this evening)

To make things even more complicated, I just got hired to to work EFY for four weeks.
Goodbye Sweater Guy....
The one consolation is that I won't feel guilty that my COWs will be the counselors anymore.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Have you heard this song? It's currently one of my very favorites. I would like to dedicate to Mr. Advice and Sweater Guy.

However, listening to this song has made me realize I've been way to harsh on Mr. Ute.
He keeps texting me.
And I keep getting annoyed.
I'm just not a texting communicator. If you want to talk to me, CALL ME.

But then I realize how attached I've been to my ex-boyfriends, even months after we broke up. Granted, I dated Mr. Advice and Sweater Guy for months, rather than two and a half weeks. And talked marriage with both of them.
But I'm going to be more sensitive I decided.

That's all.

-the Romantic

I fell in love with this blog last week. Most of you probably already read it. But I wanted to share that adorable story anyway.

Also, not that I'm getting married anytime soon. But I love this wedding dress. (The groom is the lead singer in my favorite local band ... Guess I'll have to cross being a groupie off my To Do list)

Here's a little romantic ditty for you:

That song was included on the mix Mr. Ute gave me.
Hanging out with him last night was good. But I was having conniptions inside every time he put his arm around me... I'm a bit wary of relationships after everything that happened with Sweater Guy. Even if it was last August.

There was however the awkward hug goodbye at the doorstep. We're talking painfully awkward. I'm still cringing about it. He told me later he thought it was funny though.

Here's where the guilt sets in. Egg Guy asked me out for a second date this afternoon! And I said yes.
I'm not dating either of them... So I shouldn't feel guilty about going on dates with the both of them. Right?

I'm also getting sick... It's probably the guilt taking effect.

And then there's still the matter of my mission papers that are not quite being filled out yet... We're waiting until after finals to start that. But still...

Well, happy Monday readers! I hope your love lives are less complicated than mine.

-the Romantic

With a new year approaching, I have decided to make a few dating resolutions

1) Do not bemoan the fact that Best Friend Guy is getting married.

2) Stop creeper lovin' on the EQP (it probably freaks him out).

3) Take dating less seriously, and school work more seriously.

4) Be more selective in my elbow touching.

5) Stop complaining about blind dates, because if nothing else, they make great blogging material.

So I've been on a few first dates this semester, but not any second dates. And I came to the conclusion that that is totally ok with me. Sweater Guy and I dated on and off for eight months. My heart needed time to heal. And that was my reply to any inquisitor over break.

I have startling news about Guitar Hero. I think I finally admitted to myself that I might sort of kind of have a thing for him. He does make me laugh harder than anyone I've ever met. And now that I'm finally interested in him, I don't think he's interested in me anymore. Boo.

Well, we shall see how this semester goes.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Oh readers, it's been an interesting week back at BYU.

Last Thursday, before the big game, I went out to dinner with my stake president from back home, and a bunch of kids from my stake.

Mr. Lowe was there. Just in case you were wondering. I'd become pretty convinced that we'll be nothing more than friends. Despite the text message he sent me last Tuesday wishing me a good day (I thought only girls did stuff like that).

During dinner, my stake president slipped me some tickets to the BYU game this Saturday. His one condition on my using them: I needed to ask a boy to go with me.

The unfortunate thing about returning from a mission is that all of your close guy friends have married in your absence. And they are therefore unavailable to pal around with me and my incredible football tickets (understandably). But I told myself I wasn't going to worry about it until Monday... Maybe I would meet someone at church.

Friday rolls around.

Mr. Lowe texts me about the obscene amount of comments that Mr. E is posting on my facebook wall. The conversation changes topics, and we both realize that neither of us has plans for the evening. So I ask him if he wants to "hang out". I'm very specific in my wordage here so as to friend zone myself. I'm tired of making myself so available when nothing is happening.

"Do you wanna go see the Avengers together?" he asks. So we went. Just the two of us. Arms touching the whole time we watched the movie.

I'm still not sure what last Friday night was. I thought maybe I should offer to pay for my ticket once he picked me up. But then decided against it. After the movie, he took me out for ice cream and paid for that too. So by the Elder Oak's definition, it was a date.

But it didn't feel like one.

But instead of being confused, or even frustrated, I'm a little angry. The situation with Mr. Lowe reminds me a little bit of Sweater Guy (who happens to be enrolled in one of my classes this semester... yikes). Their personalities are completely different. But I still can't help but feel like I'm being strung along.

Needless to say, Mr. Lowe is being dropped faster than a non-committal investigator...It's to the back of the area book for him.

But that still brings up the question of who I'm taking to the game on Saturday. After a few days of panic, I think I've found the perfect person to go with.

Now if only I hadn't gotten rid of all my BYU apperal before the mission...

xoxo

-the Romantic

I had one room mate who said you can't really get over someone until there's someone else to move on to.

So in order to move on from Sweater Guy, I need a new crush. And maybe not even a crush, I'd settle for even a crinkle right now. Good plan right?

Problem is, I'm a little bit eccentric. I know this. It's ok. It's a fact I've come to love and accept about myself...

And the guys in my new ward... well, they're not. They all seem to cookie cutter versions of each other wearing different versions of the same shirt from aeropostle, AE, and abercombie.

Give me a boy with slightly skinnies and a band tee any day.
Why am I such a sucker for the Willoughbys?

I will try to keep an open mind though. Perhaps I will be able to educate some poor lad on the finer points of indie music and russian lit. And maybe he can teach me a thing or two as well.

things will work out.

xoxo
-The Romantic

Change is good right?

Goodbyes are sad....

But unfortunately necessary when you're stuck on someone who doesn't reciprocate your same feelings.

I tried telling Sweater Guy goodbye forever, because the whole friends thing isn't working out too well on my end.

It didn't work.... So I tried saying goodbye for a week(he's going to be around for spring/summer, and so am I). And then, my hands took control and decided to text him today.... I just had really good news I wanted to share!

Plus I still have his skate board.... oops....

xoxo
-The Romantic

I think the hardest part about breaking up with someone is losing your best friend even though they're still around.

Whether we've been together or not, Sweater Guy has been a part of my life for the past 8 months. That is a really long time in Provo years (where two weeks can equal an entire courtship). And now? It's like I have to pretend he's dead or something. Breaking up is just a weird.

Also, I'm not very good at it. It seems that it always takes me 2 or 3 times with these long drawn out conversations that last for hours where tears are shed by both parties. It's so dramatic...
I'm anxious to see what this new school year holds.

But I think it's time for another boy fast. No boyfriends. Just boy friends. I don't have the emotional constitution for dating.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Well, almost back to Utah!

It rained the whole time I was here. So no beach, and no San Francisco.

All is pretty quiet on the dating front.

Except for...

Mr. Ute has been texting me a bit. And he offered to pick me up from the airport. He's so good to me, so I don't want to be mean. And I'm totally fine with being friends. I just don't want him to get the wrong idea.

This has been a grave problem for me in the past. I can't seem to balance breaking up with a boy and staying his friend. I'm highly notorious for getting back together with my ex-boyfriends. (Ok, so this was really only a huge problem with Sweater Guy, even though I did get back together with Mr. Advice before he Dear Jane'd me on my study abroad).

I've had some roomies tell me it's possible to stay friends with an ex. And then I've had other friends who've said you just gotta cut 'em out. Like cancer.

What is your opinion dear reader?

To friend or not to friend? That is the question.

xoxo

-the Romantic

This post is cutting into my nap time, but I thought ya'll might want an update.

THERE ARE GORGEOUS COUNSELORS GALORE! I am quite the fan.

And yet, Sweater Guy left me a message this week with the Beach Boys singing, "I wish they all could be California girls"
One guess as to where I'm from. (sigh) it was really cute. I miss him. Lots.

I love EFY.
My girls are amazing. My boys are precious.

Well, I guess it's nap time....

Last dance of the week tonight! WAHOO!

xoxo
-The Romantic

It has become the joke amongst my friends and I that touching a man's elbow is the way to capture his attention. Whether or not that's really true, I've been practicing lately to see if it really works.

And I think that maybe it does.

So I haven't even really being putting the elbow grabbing method into practice, I've just been joking around with boys that I will grab their elbow when they do "attractive" things. Such as play the guitar at the ward talent show.

And then, all of a sudden Guitar Hero(he plays guitar quite well) pops on facebook chat all the time now. He comes over, wanting to hang out, and watch arrested development on his big screen.

The next thing I know, I come home at curfew, having watched 6 episodes of arrested development, sitting next to him (arms touching) on the big couch (with no one else sitting on the big couch), deeply confused. And analyzing everything to death.

Does that mean he's interested? I mean, you don't just sit on the big couch, right next to someone, arms touching, for six episodes of arrested development, if there's no interest right?!

It's times like these that make me feel like the Harvard Sailing Team understands the woman psyche way too well.

My favorite part was when I was dissecting this story with one of my friends in German class the next day, and my 80 year old Professor chimed in. (To be read with a German accent) "It does not matter if your arms were touching. It matter if your skin was touching. Were your arms bare?" Danke Herr Professor. I will keep that in mind from now one. I informed him that I was wearing three quarter length sleeves. Subsequently, there was no skin contact that night.
So here are my concerns:
1) It's my turn to invite him to do something now. But I'm not sure if I really want to or not. I'm still getting over Sweater Guy, truth be told. And I think that's ok, because we only officially broke up about a month and half ago.
2) So, let's say I am ready/interested in Guitar Hero. What if I'm just reading all the signs wrong? And then I do something too forward, and get my heart smashed into thousands of tiny little pieces?

I think the plan will be to just continue being friendly. And try not to freak out.

I can't wait for the day when I'm married, and I can look back at dating and just laugh.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Ever since my date with Finn a fortnight ago, I've been inviting him to do things with my roomies and I.

But he always seemed to be busy.

And I suddenly remembered why I don't go for the jocks. We have nothing in common, and therefore nothing to talk about.

When I was but a little naive high school girl, I wondered how all my friends who dated could possibly talk to their boyfriends as much as they did. I even had one friend who would call her boyfriend before seminary. And I never understood what they would talk about when they had just hung up the phone hours before.

That was all before I dated Mr. Advice.

Before Mr. Advice and I even started dating, we would stay up for hours talking outside my apartment. Those late night talks were everything I had been looking for but never quite been able to put into words.

Since then, the number one thing I've looked for in a man is a good conversationalist.

Things came close with Sweater Guy. But no cigar.

Talking with Finn is like trying to pull teeth. Painful and bloody. Ok, that's a gross exaggeration (gross as in large, and as in kind of disgusting). Talking with Finn is more like a one sided conversation with myself. Occasionally he pipes in...occasionally.

It's just my luck that the few guys (by few I mean two) I've found that I could talk to for hours already have girlfriends.

Finn's emoticon laced texts are a welcome distraction I suppose, though I've never been the emoticon type of girl. And he did finally come over to hang out with us for four hours. Maybe he is interested... He did sit by me in Sunday School last week... And his texts are always so enthusiastic... But am I interested?

Perhaps my mission call will come this week.

Maybe.

xoxo
-the Romantic

The Ghosts of Ex-Boyfriends Past

A word of advice

What sort of mess have we gotten oursevles into this time?

Gasping for Air

Summer so far...

A Triangle of Sorts

Pure Madness

Need Cheering Up?

Limbo

I haven't been very fair.

As if you hadn't had enough cute stories lately...

New Year's Resolutions & Reflections

Greetings from the Land of Pseudo-Dates

Prospects

:0(

Breaking up is hard to do...

Miss me?

FYI about EFY

Elbows Touching

Fin!

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