EFY is weird.

8/31/2014 The Lady 1 Comments

EFY is a special place. And by that I mean special. Don't get me wrong, being a counselor this summer was really one of the greatest things I have done in a long time, but also in all honesty, being in a large group of LDS people for extended periods of time only discussing the gospel and doing endless line dances does weird things to people. The participants who come only get a small taste of the oddities because their time is limited to a mere five days, while as a counselor you experience it week after week after week with very little relief. 

For example, this summer I found myself flirting, hand-holding, and cuddling with other EFY counselors for whom I cared nary a whit. Nothing seemed to matter at all because I could not take EFY counselors seriously, and therefore I could not take myself seriously concerning them. Now this fragmented mindset towards relationships with the opposite sex does not overcome every EFY counselor as it did me, but each counselor is affected in their own little way. 

____________________________________

The Counselor (remember him from ages ago?) was an EFY counselor this summer as well, and the daze which overcame him greatly challenged my flirtatious spirit. His was a curious sort of flirting and exceeding kindness, and as you can suppose this only caused great confusion in my poor little heart.

All summer long, The Counselor showed me nothing but pure compassion. He was continually checking up on me as it was my first "rodeo" (so to speak) and expressing his admiration and faith in my abilities. After one particularly challenging week, I greatly felt the need for a priesthood blessing and The Counselor was the only one I knew well enough to ask. The blessing itself was beautiful and exactly what I needed of course, but afterwards (being quite the emotional wreck that day) The Counselor just held me and let me cry in his arms. If that doesn't make a girl feel protected and loved, I don't know what does. So there I was soaking his t-shirt with my tears, and he proceeded to tell me every sweet thing he could possibly think of (which I will not relate here, because for once it is much too personal). Blast it all. Who does that to another person? I mean really. 

The rest of the summer, The Counselor and I were far apart from each other, which was all well and good. We easily kept in touch through frequent texts and phone calls and the like. Between one of our weeks, we bumped into each other in the airport and spent our layover time laughing and chatting and hugging much longer than is typical between friends. During one distinctly long phone conversation, The Counselor told me the many details of his past dating life, mostly revolving around a particularly tragic love story which provided some insight into his long-term bachelorhood. He spent the remainder of our conversation detailing everything he liked about me and telling me how he wanted to know me better than he currently did. 

But through it all, there was no declaration of love or admission of any desire to be anything but dear friends. 

I chalk it all up to the weirdness of EFY.

Con Amor, 
The Lady 

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Zàijiàn, my friends

8/28/2014 The Charmer 3 Comments

Well, after a rather exciting summer ending with a surprising week-long romance, I am off. I said goodbye to Ammon, goodbye to my family, and goodbye to the handful of other boys in my home singles ward that were still interested during the last 2 weeks I was there. (I actually had one of them tell me, "Hey, when you come home in a year, if you're still single and I'm still single, I'd love to take you on a date!" Umm...we'll see...) Unfortunately for them, I'm off on my next adventure...China!

 I know it wasn't that long ago that I took a posting hiatus to serve a mission, and I hate to leave you all again, but I have a feeling that my posts for the next little while will be intermittent at best. First off, blogging is a little bit sketchy in China and I'll have to be taking some roundabout measures to get on here, if you know what I mean. Secondly, I'm afraid my dating life might take a standstill. But who knows? If anything exciting does happen, such as falling for one of the other (hopefully handsome) international teachers, I'll be sure to let you know. Maybe I'll even pop in occasionally just to update you on my China adventures and misadventures. (Like squat toilets...here's hoping that's just a rumor and not a real thing!)

Oh, and I suppose an update on Ammon is in order before I leave?

I don't really know what to say, except that I'm pretty sure I just left behind the best match I've found thus far. In the 9 days that we knew each other, we spent 2 entire days together...and yes, I do mean an entire 48 hours. We spent 48 fabulous hours talking, laughing, playing carnival games, reading scriptures, making brownies, hiking, playing sand volleyball with teenagers, going to the temple, and eating Buffalo Wild Wings dessert nachos at 1 am. We got kicked out by not 1, but 2 park rangers by the end of the week. We had some of the best doctrinal discussions on the gospel I've ever had. And best of all, I was 100% myself the entire time. I never tried to impress him (since at the beginning, I hadn't wanted to go out with him anyways). I never tried to make myself appear to be someone I wasn't--and neither did he.

In the end, I couldn't have asked for a better last week in the USA. Admittedly, I probably got the least amount of sleep in a week that I have in my entire life (and that wasn't only because I had to sleep in my car one night when I accidentally forgot my house key). Will Ammon and I have any future adventures? Honestly, I have no idea. I certainly hope so, but at this point it's hard to say. I guess we'll become Skype buddies for now and see what happens from there. For now, all I can do is trust that God's timing is perfect and that we only had a week together because that is exactly what was supposed to happen.

Well, I'll soon be sending my love from China. Until then...adieu, adios, and zàijiàn, my friends.

love,
the charmer

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The Englishman comes to America.

8/22/2014 The Lady 3 Comments

First, an apology:

Due to a series of unforeseen (no WiFi for ages!) nor unavoidable circumstances (moving to a new apartment and copious amounts of work to do), I was unable to publish my next post in a timely manner. What ought to have been a slight cliff-hanger such as one might find between chapters in a novel turned into a much more dramatic affair such as the cliff-hanger and the end of a novel which means a sequel is coming. Which as you all know can be the worst, for if you liked the book you agonize over waiting and if you were only mildly interested, you quickly forget what all the hubbub was about anyway. 

I always seem to be in a constant state of apology on this blog, so once again allow me to say, "I am sorry." I shall try to repent of my neglectful ways. With your forgiveness and permission in stow, allow me to move forward. 

The story. 

Tinder really is a foolish thing, and I being a somewhat foolish creature (more foolish than most I would say), I wandered onto that blasted app once I had safely arrived in Utah for my summer as an EFY counselor. I happily sorted my way through the bros and the nerds, the Peter Priesthoods and the anti-Mormons, and everything in between. No one was particularly striking at all, and it was all light, healthy flirting until The Englishman and I matched up. 

Why did I like The Englishman's profile?

1) He was adorable (sported a hideous Christmas sweater and everything). 
2) Our one interest in common was Coldplay (which is a far more important detail than it may seem). 
3) He was older (no more recently returned missionaries for me). 
4) He still had all his hair (and it was perfect). 
5) HE WAS BRITISH. 

But really, it all boils down to one simple fact: He was British. Let us take a silent moment of reflection to truly appreciate how this was a dream come true for The Lady. #tindermercy 

Needless to say, The Englishman and I hit it off immediately. We talked extensively about our families, England, our goals, music, movies, and other miscellaneous interests at whim. After chatting back and forth for a few days, The Englishman asked me out, but I was tied to EFY night after night and week after week without a break in sight until July (at the time it was the end of May). So we kept texting and he began calling me in the evenings (I may have squealed and/or giggled girlishly when I first heard his gloriously accented voice), and all was going perfectly. 

Well it was about as perfect as a relationship (?) can be when you have never met in person and the man you like is not a member of your religion...Yes, you read that correctly, The Englishman was not LDS. Not in the slightest. And here I was at EFY being as Mormon as Mormons can be, and he was being as culturally British as possible. I had no idea what should be done. 

Now there just so happens to be a simply baffling phenomenon that occurs when men actually take a liking to me. I do not describe it to boast about how "alluring" I am to men or whatever because I frankly do not understand how and why it happens myself, but nevertheless, it must needs be explained. When men like me, and I mean actually like me, they sail straight past simple interestedness towards courtship and marriage. It happened with Mr. Cowboy, it happened with Dex, and it appeared to be happening with The Englishman. 



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You have my full permission to use this as an intermission (it's a hideously long post, I know). Go use the loo, pop some popcorn, answer those texts, so on and so forth. 


Before I knew it, The Englishman and I were discussing a serious relationship and the possibility of marriage (given we were to actually like each other in real life). Every day I asked myself the self-same question: What is my life?!?!?!? Now The Englishman and I discussed extensively all the ins and outs of what a relationship between us would mean (long distance, strict rules of chastity, and all that jazz) and somehow he was still 100% on board. What is my life? And like I said, we even discussed what marriage would be like:

Him: Would you move with me to England?

Me: When do we leave?

Him: Three kids sound good? Two boys and a girl, so the boys can watch over their sister?

Me: As long as they're British, I'm game for a dozen. 

Him: Would your family be disappointed if you didn't get married in the temple?

Me: Disappointed? No. Devastated? Yes. 

Him: What if I joined the church?

Me: It's not that simple. 

It was disjointed, it was confusing, it was backwards, it was laughable, it was lovely. The Englishman and I talked incessantly, and he even called me when he was away on business to Italy. (Oh, did I mention that he frequently took international trips for work [flying first class mind you] and offered to take me with him during his next trip to Italy in August? Such a small detail, must have slipped my mind.) All in all, everything was perfect and we decided that we needed to put the grand plan and our monumental issues on the shelf for a bit until we saw how we got on in person.

And at long last, we did meet in person, and it was all as it should have been. Except for two small details:

1) He was a bit shorter than me. 
2) I was not sure how to hug a one-armed man. Oh, yes, another small detail I failed to mention. He only had one arm.  

Now, these physical things really weren't as big a deal to me as you might assume. I didn't feel as though I towered over him, and the one-armed thing...well if I am completely honest, it wasn't that weird. Although I admit that I did not quite know how to react when he first told me, so it took me a solid month to predispose myself to the idea. But like I said, "What is my life?"

The date was just fine, and I had a great time, but there was no hand-holding (not even just the one) or kiss. Which I suppose is fine for a first date, but when you've already discussed marriage with someone, only hugging them feels like a step in the opposite direction. But it was respectful and good, and naturally we hoped to get together again soon. 

Unfortunately, EFY immediately took me captive again and The Englishman went off to San Diego. And it was San Diego that was our undoing. Now being as British as he was, The Englishman was quite fond of pubs and drinking, and if you're looking for it, San Diego has plenty to offer. (I actually am only assuming that San Diego involved a decent amount of alcohol because there would have been no reason for what happened to happen had The Englishman been in his right mind because it was not like him at all). Being entirely sloshed (or so I assume), The Englishman had the gall to send me a tasteless photo, and I ended everything then and there. Sometimes the line is very clear. 

Alas, perhaps my British fantasy was never to be.  

Until next time, 

The Lady

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Unlikely Circumstance

8/21/2014 The Charmer 1 Comments



It seems to me like we tend to find love in the most unlikely of places.

I spent four years at BYU dating and dating and DATING. I met a lot of great guys, I met a lot of quirky guys, but I think I can honestly say that I never met someone I liked quite as much as the guy I met last week. No, he's not in Vocal Point, he's not an MTC teacher, and in fact he's not even a returned missionary [...yet]. Somehow I fell for a kid from Michigan who probably spent more time partying during his college years than he did studying.

And believe me, THAT has come as a surprise.

The three things I like most about Ammon:

1. He is honestly the most respectful guy that I have ever dated. When I'm with him, I don't have to worry about any unfortunate handholding incidents like I experienced earlier this summer. Since he's still a little new to the LDS culture, he is totally dedicated to making sure he's doing dating "right." In fact, earlier in the week he even texted me and said, "So I know this is awkward....but I'm still trying to figure out how to flirt and be with a girl while still maintaining a Christlike relationship. Is holding hands okay?" You may find that text cringe-worthy. I, however, found myself applauding the fact that there is still a man in this world who cares enough to ask.
2. I find him truly charming. He has this charismatic, inviting personality; two seconds after we'd met, he was already talking to me as if we'd been friends for years. We have a blast and a half when we're together, he's not afraid to be spontaneous, he makes me laugh constantly, and he is so sincere about everything he says and does. Also, believe it or not, he'll occasionally break into random songs (which is one of those things I worried that only I did!).
3. He is so dedicated to the gospel. Even though his whole family is still praying on a daily basis to "reclaim his soul" after he was baptized into the LDS church, his conviction is as strong as ever. I mean, come on, last night he asked me to help him do his family history so that we could bring his family names to the temple on Saturday. He absolutely knows the gospel is true and he recognizes that he's a much better person than he was before the Church enters his life. Oh, and he is completely set on serving a mission in 8 months when he hits his year-mark.

Which brings us to another interesting twist of fate. He's going to serve a mission, which I 100% support. But that means that after this week I don't have the possibility of seeing him again until the year 2017.

I don't even want to talk about how old I'm going to be in 2017.

So that brings us to the great question...why on earth did I meet this boy?

Well as my wise best friend put it,
"The way I see it, there are basically two reasons that God might have put this boy in your life: 1. He's your FEC [that's future eternal companion] or 2. He wanted you to see what you really should be looking for when you meet whoever IS your FEC.
Either way, enjoy it while you can, darling, because China calls."

In other words, I guess I could either blow up my brain trying to read between the lines, wondering if he is THE ONE and if that means I don't get married for another 3 years.....
....or I could just choose to enjoy this week, take a mental note of the things that I like about him, pledge to only marry a boy who respects me as much as Ammon does, and leave the rest up to God.

Yup, I choose option b. Which is a big deal for an overanalyzer like myself.

besitos,
the charmer

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Farewell Sam?

8/20/2014 The Blue Stocking 0 Comments

With summer coming to a close, things with Sam are...well I don't know what they are. Neither of us have brought up how his impending move for law school will affect us. Instead we talk about books and eat sketchy burritos. 

I think the main reason we haven’t talked about it is neither of us wants to break-up or commit. The past couple of weeks with Sam have been easy. We text occasionally, date here and there, and most importantly don’t stress. That being said, I think the only thing I want from all of this is a buddy.  

And it’s not like I think he’s in love with me. I think (ok I hope) he just enjoys my company and is equally as confused as to what he wants.

So we continue on, texting and flirting. Can I just say he’s like this witty, intellectual, cowboy. Which, come on, who wouldn’t want to chat up. Example of a very Sam moment. He called me up last night to schedule a date for this weekend. The phone call was one of the most awkward conversations I’ve had. It was once big silence after another. When I finally hung up I got a text from him “I’m awkward on the phone. Deal with it.”

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Sam’s great.  

Also, this summer I’ve been hanging out with two other guys from our ward. The first one is Grant. I’ve known Grant for a year now and every time I’m around him I walk away thoroughly impressed. The next guy is Ed. Ed is hard to pinpoint. Mostly because he’s either mute or hilarious. Cali and I are actually friends with Ed’s parents and his mom is convinced one of us should marry Ed. We keep telling her that would require him to speak to us.

Ed and Grant are also best friends and I love the dynamic of them and us. They join us for our standard Wednesday dinner with friends and we hang out with them on the weekends. I don’t know where any of this is going, but I enjoy the company so over-thinking is banned.

-The Bluestocking 

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The One Week Romance

8/19/2014 The Charmer 0 Comments


I've noticed an interesting pattern in my life.

I just shared with you how I met Rex right before I left to be an EFY counselor all summer. Here he was, this awesome guy...and then I was gone.

Well, it's happened again. Here I am, with only a week left before I leave the country to go halfway across the world, and another incredible guy plops into my life.

I was set up on a blind date with him last Friday, and if your blind date history is anything like mine, you'll understand why I was so surprised when we actually ended up hitting it off. But hit it off we did! Ammon is incredible, and everything about him has impressed me so much. One of the coolest things about him is that he's only been a member of the church for four months, although you would never guess that because of his understanding of and love for the gospel. Seriously, I've been blown away by his insights. And because he still has that new convert fire, I would guess that a good 70% of our conversation is devoted to gospel topics (which as you might recall, I am totally okay with).

Have you ever met someone with whom you just click? Someone with whom you are completely 100% yourself around? Someone with whom you are totally open and honest with from the moment you met them? Someone with whom you have a good time, no matter what you're doing? [Yes, I'm sure some of you have, and you're probably the married ones]

Well, that's a pretty good way to describe how things happened with Ammon and me. Last week if you would have told me I would be spending every night until 3 am talking to a guy I'd just met, I would have said you were crazy. And if you would have told me how the only thing I'd be able to think about when I wasn't with him was him, I DEFINITELY wouldn't have believed you.

I was over it, remember? I was totally over dating.

And then somehow, this kid showed up out of nowhere and won me over. Along with all of our deeply satisfying conversations, we've also had our fair share of adventures due to the fact that most of our ideas don't quite end up the way we plan. For example, last night what started out as an innocent "night hike" ended up involving 1 angry park ranger, 1 old logging road that definitely could have been a horror movie setting, 4 empanadas, and 2 cops that pulled us over on the way back suspecting drunk driving [Officer, I promise, the accidental swerving was because we were just looking at the moon! I mean, just look at it! You would have swerved, too!]. And despite all the wildness, can I just say that it was one of the most memorable and enjoyable dates I've been on...possibly ever?

And throughout it all, we just keep shaking our heads and saying, "Why did we meet each other ONE WEEK before I leave?"


kisses,
the charmer

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Incidents from the Life of the Charmer: Worst Wingman Ever Pt. 2

8/18/2014 The Charmer 2 Comments

Last time I left you, I'd introduced my friend Jared, aka recently hired wingman. Most of the girls that had been ogling over Rex had left by this point, and so Jared and I sauntered over, with me beginning to wonder if this really was the best approach I could have thought of.

Here's kind of how how the conversation went.

ME: Hey, how's work been going?
REX: It's been pretty busy, but it hasn't been too bad.
JARED: What's your work schedule like? Do you work in the evenings?
REX: I usually just work during the day, but I've been helping my sister refinish her basement in the evening.
JARED: Oh, cool. Well maybe instead of working on the basement, you should spend your evening taking the Charmer on a date.
ME:
[aka speechless/horrified]
REX: [speechless/uncomfortable]
JARED: Just look at her. She'd love it if you took her on a date. You'd love it, too.
ME: [sending a death glare at Jared] Umm....OKAAAAY, Jared....<to Rex> Sorry, he always does this...
REX: ....Okay....ummm....
JARED: [thinks for a second, and then blurts out] SHE LOVES YOU!
ME: [punching Jared in the face...in my mind] Alriiiiight. <to Rex> You can just ignore him.


After that, we exchanged an awkward goodbye before Rex left, presumably leaving my life forever.

ME: <to Jared> You're officially fired as my wingman. Pretty sure he's never going to talk to me again.
JARED: Oh, he'll talk to you again. He's totally into you. I was just getting all of the awkwardness out of the way.
<END OF CONVERSATION>

In the end, I just sighed, shook my head, and shrugged it off. Whatever. I learned to embrace awkwardness as a missionary. Besides, even if Rex never DID speak to me again, I'd survive. After all, I was leaving in a week and a half for EFY anyways.

But....still. I liked the kid. So I decided to go to PLAN B.

 PLAN B: Pray.
Hey, I'd been a missionary. When plans fell through, we prayed. We prayed A LOT. And so I may or may not have prayed for the opportunity to go on a date with Rex. Actually, I even prayed just to have the chance to have a real one-on-one conversation with him. After all, God tends to answer my prayers. Sooo I figured...why not?

PLAN C: Last Chance--Get Him at Institute!
Luckily, Rex DID actually speak to me again like Jared had predicted. I was truly shocked, seeing the direction our last conversation had gone.
In fact, he didn't just speak to me in passing...Rex and I ended up having a nice 30-minute conversation all of our own after institute the following week. My prayer was answered. YES!!! It was just as wonderful as I had imagined except that it was BETTER. We had a lot in common. He wants to travel. He loves missionaries. He's a musician. He knew a lot about psychology. We talked about all kinds of things, spanning topics from avoiding distractions and keeping the Spirit with us to playing piano to future life plans. It was fabulous. We both lamented the fact that I was leaving so soon. I told him I wished I would have gotten to know him sooner.
And that was that.
Eventually his ride showed up and he left, but not before making it clear that he was interested. Unfortunately I left 3 days later and so, unsurprisingly, nothing happened between us.

But I left that conversation grinning like a lunatic. Even if nothing else ever happens with Rex Burg, for 30 minutes on May 21, 2014 I was the happiest girl in that institute classroom. And I think that's important. Sometimes we forget to just rejoice in those little happy moments because we're too focused on trying to figure out how everything is supposed to fit together or we're worrying too much about what's going to happen next. But remember that scripture we had to memorize in high school..."Men are that they might have joy" [2 Nephi 2:25]? God created us to be HAPPY and I believe He gives us opportunities all the time, even if it's something as insignificant as a 2-for-1 coupon or a 30-minute conversation with a crush.

And of course, as I left the classroom, my friend Jared gave me one of those told you so! looks. As much as I thought he sucked as a wingman, maybe he was onto something with the whole "get the awkwardness out of the way" thing. Who knows....

xoxo,
the charmer

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Monsoon Season

8/13/2014 The Romantic 0 Comments

Previously on the Adventures of the Romantic: We last left our heroine maybe dating "the Korean." A situation which left her utterly confused and the members a bit wary. Click here for more details.


Well my dearest readers, its been quite a long time since our last little chat. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, it's just that I've become quite lazy and have preferred to watch old episodes of Felicity inside of doing something productive like writing or studying for the GRE. (Side note: Ben+Felicity 5evvver) But never fear, because here we meet again, and boy, do I have a lot to tell you.

The thing about Koreans is, they are the busiest little busy bees you have ever met. So unless you make time to interact with each other, its not going to casually happen. Given this certain facet of Korean life, things with The Korean have sort of fizzled off. We meet maybe once a month, or once every other month. And I flirt with him because.... well... I can. And then we don't meet for another month.



Which brings us to the study café I now frequent these days. About three months ago, I began to attend a Korean study group. Attendance every week isn't mandatory. So we usually get a wide variety of foreigners that show up every week (some who are quite strange), as well as a fairly steady group of Korean college students. The lucky thing is, we all usually end up hanging out together after.

Through this little study café, I've met three guys that I'd love to tell you about: Mr. Real Man, The Employee, and the Korean Man of My Dreams (we'll just call him Mr. Korean Dreamboat for short, or Mr. KD).

The stories of each of these men deserve their own post. So I'll be back soon with more details. But it's monsoon season right now in Korea, and never has the phrase "when it rains, it pours" meant so much to me.

Until next time loves,
-the Romantic

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Incidents from the Life of the Charmer: Worst Wingman Ever Pt. 1

8/12/2014 The Charmer 1 Comments

In lieu of having any real dating developments to write about, I thought I'd share with you a story that I still chuckle about that occurred before I left on my adventurous EFY summer. Enjoy!

 .....................................................................................................

There I was, recently returned missionary, trying to relearn how to navigate the waters of dating. And there he was, the most beautiful man my RM eyes had beheld.
His name was Rex. Rex Burg.

Rex entered my life at institute one night not quite two months after I came back from my mission. He had just moved here for the summer from BYU-ID. [And no, he was NOT one of the aforementioned summer sales boys.] I think the best way to explain it is this:
The moment I saw him, my heart was gone. He had it.

I realize that sentence may be the single most dramatic thing I've ever written on this blog. But that's honestly what happened. Maybe it wasn't instantaneous...maybe he made a few comments in class before my heart was coaxed from its usual perch...however, regardless of WHEN it happened that night, the truth is that by the end of the class I was crushing BIG TIME.

It was strange...really strange. Here I was, still half-afraid of guys, I didn't even KNOW this one, and yet all of a sudden the only thing I wanted to do was have a deep and satisfying conversation with him. Sure, I found him extremely attractive, but the level of my interest was more than just the usual feeling you have when you're checking out a cute guy. I doubt this will make much sense to you, but the best way I can describe how he felt to me when he walked in and the thought that kept running through my head was this: He feels like summer. Yes. He felt like summer. He just felt right.

Anyway, regardless of WHY I fell so hard for this newcomer, it happened. After the class that day, a group of us were talking and I found myself even more impressed with him. He was a really humble and sincere guy. He even seemed to show a little bit of interest in me....yes!

 However, you may recall that in my recently returned missionary stage, I was somewhat clueless as to what to do with men. Flirting was a skill that had abandoned me over the last 18 months. I'd forgotten about elbow grabbing and invisible fluff, and witty banter seemed outside my realm of competency.

So, I came up with a plan.

PLAN A: Hire a Wingman

 [Okay, just for the record, I didn't actually make plans on how to win Rex over. These things just sort of happened.]

 The next week, he was there again at institute. The class was awesome and SUPER spiritual. We had some solid discussion and I was again impressed with Rex's spiritual insight and sensitivity. Apparently, all of the other girls were impressed as well, because after class let out he was surrounded by a group of them on one side of the room. I was actually not in this gaggle of girls; I was on the other side of the room chatting with my friend Rachel.

Cue Jared.

 Jared is my red-headed slightly awkward friend whose favorite game is trying to set me up with every guy who walks into the church building. He'd been trying (unsuccessfully) to hook me up with everyone in sight since coming home. As soon as Rex entered the state, Jared sniffed him out and decided he'd be the perfect match for me. On Sunday, he'd cornered me and demanded to know, "Sooo...what do you think about Rex?"I figured it'd be nice for him to try set me up with someone I was actually interested in for a change, so I'd let him know that for once, he was right on target.

With this conversation in mind, Jared sidles over to me and Rachel and and asks, "Why aren't you over there with your lover boy? You're never going to win him over by standing on the other side of the room."

I paused before responding. Did I really want to involve Jared in this? However, I figured this was a grand opportunity to get a little help. So, still with a bit of hesitation, I told him, "Hey, Jared, I've forgotten how to flirt. I need you to be my wingman." 

I've never seen his face light up so fast.

In hindsight, I should have known from the crazy gleam in his eyes that this was NOT going to end well...

xoxo,
the charmer

 (Part 2 is on its way soon!)

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The sweetness of summer.

8/11/2014 The Lady 1 Comments

Dearest Readers, 
I have had the most wonderful hiatus. I do feel sorry that I have kept you out of the loop for three months, but now I have ever so much to tell you, and I am excited to write about all the wonderful and/or tedious details. 

There have been four men who have played a large part in my summer romance, and never in a million years could I have imagined the events of this summer. (Disclaimer: No, I am not engaged, nor am I seriously dating anyone.). This summer has made me feel fresh and reawakened. And I know that men should not be the reason for my happiness, but good heavens, it is difficult not to feel delightful when one is treated with fondness and affection. I hardly know where to start, but I suppose it should be with the beginning of the summer when I foolishly got back on Tinder and met The Englishman. 

Gird your loins. 

The Lady

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Nightcall Aftermath

8/09/2014 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments

Going into church after the phone call with Henry was a nervy experience. While I wanted to act easy breezy I worried that I might freak out mid breezy and bolt at the sight of him. I was put to the test the second I stepped out of Sunday School and saw him in the hall. He was on one end, I on the other. I smiled, waved, and ducked into the nearest classroom on my right.

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Once the coast was clear, I exited and continued down the hall when I saw James. The second he saw me, he slowed his roll, backed up against the wall and turned his face from me. I’m not kidding. That happened.

When did church become a series of avoidance maneuvers?

I finally made it to class and took the seat next to Calvin. I know I don’t mention him all too often, but I should because he’s wonderful. He’s just that guy who’s nice and makes you feel good about yourself, but not in a slimy I’m–hitting-on-you kind of way.

Halfway through the lesson I volunteered to read and once I was done Calvin pointed out that a lot of guys were watching me while I read. I look at the direction he was referring to and there was James.

Maybe he doesn’t hate me?

That night I was hanging out with friends when a girl from my ward texted me inviting me to a game night and emphasized that James would be there and I should come.

What the world?

While I would love to fix things with James, it does bother me that he continues to treat me as if I killed his dog and told him he was next. We don’t have to be friends, but if he could say hi to me, that would be awesome.

Mostly my goal for the Summer/Fall is to find peace. I’m tired of being haunted by my past relationships. I’m tired of punishing myself by thinking and reliving every moment of every date asking myself over and over “what else could I have done.” I can’t live with the constant blame so something needs to change. 


Also, for the past month things have been going down with Sam and I may or may not have a new guy to add to the mix. I can’t emphasize how crazy this summer has been. 

-The Bluestocking

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The Summer Summed-Up

8/07/2014 The Charmer 1 Comments


Well, my summer of EFY is over. Easily one of the most fabulous summers I've ever had, even despite the lack of sleep and severe lack of quality food. Dating-wise, I ended the summer about where I started out: still relationship-less, but no bemoaning my plight. In fact, I'm super okay with it. I ended with 6 dates, 1 unfortunate hand-holding incident, and 1 ex-boyfriend who may still be in love with me (not Mr. Director, don't worry, that boy is off & married & I haven't said a word to him since I got home). There were also too many awkward moments to count as countless 15-year-olds tried to set me up with other counselors. Unfortunately for my girls this summer, they had a 0% success rate at actually getting me a date with said counselors.

An Update on the Men of my Summer:
--I hadn't heard from Logan in weeks until he randomly texted me last Thursday. Unfortunately there were no confessions of love or even offers to take me on a date. Phooey. I'm fairly doubtful anything will happen there...but a girl can dream, right?
--Nevada and I worked the same session this last week. Partway through the week, a couple of my girls happened to meet him and discovered that we knew each other. In fact, Nevada jokingly told them, "Ah yeah, the Charmer turned me down for a date a couple weeks ago." This of course fueled their little fires and the rest of the week was spent trying to hook us up. On Thursday I made the terrible mistake of playing a game with them called "What are the Odds" and ended up losing, meaning I had to ask Nevada on a date. Lemme just say....it was awkward. But, for the record, I now have a little more sympathy for boys. It's definitely intimidating, asking someone on a date. I've been on quite a few of them in my time but the actual asking is NOT an area I'm experienced in. (I'm pretty sure I've NEVER actually asked a boy out) So, to every guy out there who HAS asked a girl on a date....thanks for pushing through the awkwardness and the anxiety and for being bold enough to just do it. I know we ladies don't give you enough credit. Lesson learned. 
--Remember Melbourne? Yeah, probably not, as he barely got a mention in my post that was completely devoted to my crush Logan. The thing is that neither of us was interested AT ALL in each other during the week we were actually co-counselors, but we still really hit it off and became fast friends. In the last 6 weeks we've gotten really close (friends-wise). We text all the time, I give him dating advice (as IF my RM self was qualified to do such a thing), and at every EFY function we always sit together and laugh too much and are WAY too irreverent.  Anyway, I was sitting by him at breakfast on Saturday morning and all of a sudden it hit me. "Dang it. I think I have a thing for Melbourne." 


How could I not have noticed?! When did this happen?! No idea, but it was fairly obvious to me as I sat next to him that I definitely cared about him a lot more than I would care about someone who was just a friend. Ay. Me and my restless heart.

Well, the unfortunate truth is that I probably won't see any of these boys again. I haven't mentioned this yet on the blog, but in a couple of weeks I am removing myself from the dating pool and from all of these nice eligible EFY boys. I am pulling a Romantic and am moving to Asia!

Yes, it's a pretty dramatic life change. I'm going to be teaching English in China for the next year! I am excited and terrified and am also wondering what sorts of repercussions this will have on my goal to get married at some point during my young adult life. But this opportunity just fell into my lap and I felt fantastic about it. I have no doubt that for whatever reason, it's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

And to be honest, I'm really not feeling too bad about leaving the dating scene. After all, remember how I'm so totally over it? Maybe a year-long sabbatical will be just what I need to get me excited to jump back in to the dating pool come next July.

Until then, I have about 2 1/2 weeks left in my American summer. Will Logan ever text me again? Will Nevada and I actually go on that date? Will I have any summer flings back home? Doubtful, but if anything interesting happens...I promise that you'll be the first to know.

xoxo,
the charmer

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