A Frustrating Tale of a Frustrating Boy

7/07/2011 The Charmer 6 Comments

Well, I did it. I added him...the politics-crazed one. Thanks for your advice.
If he happens to play an influential role in my life...we'll refer to him in the future as "Mr. President." If not, then maybe you'll never hear about him again.

I realized that I've neglected to update you on some of the more recent men-happenings in my life.

There is one man in particular (And yes, he really is a "man," clocking in at 25 years of age. Apparently I've grown up, since I'm not going after 21-year-olds anymore.) who I just can't seem to figure out. One week we spent four nights in a row up until the late hours of the morning just chatting. I could tell that he was interested in me...why else would a boy spend the whole night talking to me?...and yet he wasn't pursuing me. I was definitely interested in him, too, but his odd method of pursuing/non-pursuing confused me.

Now it's been a few weeks and he's still playing this odd game of pursue/not-to-pursue. I know he's interested in another girl, because some of our more recent late-night chats have been about her. But then why does he still act so flirtatiously towards me?

He knows how many dates I go on. His new favorite joke is that dating is my "part-time job," since I spent about 20 hours on dates last week (one on Wednesday, two on Thursday, one on Saturday). He even admitted that he usually backs down when he feels like there's too much competition for a girl's affections. So I tried to make it very easy for him. He was the one I was spending time with at night. He was the one that I laughed about all my dates with. Maybe I didn't make it obvious enough that I wasn't interested in those other guys. But I thought that he could tell I was interested in him since I was spending so much time with him...and not those other guys.

Well, I guess maybe I wasn't clear enough. After about a month of this odd relationship, he still has yet to ask me on a real date.
Anyways, my interest has started to wane. And unless he makes a move soon, he's going to miss out and I'm going to move on.

(But hopefully we'll still be friends. I really do like the kid.)

The Charmer

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Jori said...

I've heard that guys aren't very good at taking hints. I mean, I have good guy friends, but I don't spend as much time with them as you've spent with this guy. But talking about other guys in front of him makes him think, "Oh, she talks about guys with me, I must be just a friend" or something like that. Unless you make it crystal clear that you want to go out with him, he won't figure it out. It might be kind of awkward to come out and just say it, since he likes that other girl, but maybe you should bring up a lunch date or something. Something to let him know you're interested in seeing him in the day time, too ;)

jaynaseegy said...

In other words, whack him over the head with a clue-by-four. Be bold if you want him to know you're interested.

Anjelica said...

Yes I say tell him that you think it'd be fun to go on a date with him, then he'll know you're open to it and up for it!

Belle said...

Hmm, well I think that if a guy (or man, if you will) isn't willing to put in the effort to pursue you, then he isn't worth the worrying. You want someone who wants you, like, REALLY wants you, and he just isn't cutting it! Trust me, you have plenty of other Mr. Darcys just waiting for you.

Anonymous said...

My two cents: If he's talking about other girls with you, you want to move on. I guess he could be clueless and at BYU and trying to be real open, but I would NEVER talk about other girls (unless maybe I had a cool ex-story) with a girl I was really interested in. I might even make a point of mentioning them as a deterrent to moving the relationship forward. He probably enjoys your conversations though, which is nice.

Anonymous said...

You might want to pull the old "so if you were going to ask me out, when would that happen?"