The Curse of the Story-Seeker

3/13/2012 The Charmer 2 Comments

My all-time favorite book is Pride and Prejudice. There are other books that I love, of course, but the lovely thrill I felt when I first read Jane Austen's classic has yet to be matched by another literary work.

In all actuality, however, I really am a lot more like Emma.

"Doing just what she liked; highly esteeming [others'] judgments, but directed chiefly by her own. The real evils, indeed, of Emma's situation were the power of having rather too much her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself...."

Yup. That's me. I did nickname myself "The Charmer," after all.

Anyways, while I'm quoting Jane Austen, let me reference a quote I frequently hear at good old BYU...

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

If you were to peek around this campus, you would probably think that this was true of most RM guys (they are, after all, in possession of a GREAT FORTUNE OF SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE. Hahaha). And, I think that for the most part, it is true for the BYU RMs...except for the ones that I date. None of them seem to really want to get married...otherwise, heck! I might be a wifey. (Okay, so that was a complete lie. Headstrong Teenage Charmer always said she wasn't getting married until she was 24 or 25.)

But seriously. I look around and see all of my friends pass through a lovely courtship and transition effortlessly into engagement and then into marriage. It seems so easy for all of them. So why has dating been so rough for me?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the amount of drama that I've experienced in my dating relationships, and I started to wonder if it had anything to do with me (shocker, I know). After all, I am the common denominator. The thing is, I really dislike drama. I hate crying over boys and I roll my eyes at girls who are constantly fighting with their boyfriends. But I have yet to experience a smooth-sailing relationship.

I came to a realization: I have always wanted my life to be a fantastic story. I've always wanted a life that resembles a Jane Austen novel or a Nicholas Sparks movie. I've always loved the whole wow-I-despise-him-but-actually-he-turns-out-to-be-the-perfect-man-for-me plotline.

Why is that a problem?

Books and movies have drama. Lots of drama. That's why we love them so much! We wouldn't watch movies if all the movie couples experienced smooth-sailing for 2 hours. Authors don't write books where boys and girls fall in love and live happily ever after without experiencing some sort of difficulty. We love it when the prince has to fight a dragon to win over his lady or when the lovers have to be apart to realize how much they truly care for each other. We, as a society, thrive off of drama. Just look at the TV shows we watch! (I'm sure that a handful of you were booing Ben during last night's season finale of The Bachelor)

So could I inadvertently create my own drama? Am I stuck in a mindset that makes me think my love life needs some sort of zest for it to be worthwhile? Does this thought process lead me to create situations that suck?

I quite possibly am ruining my own chances at happiness.

The Charmer

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Haley Dennis said...

Remember, your life is not a Jane Austen novel.

MollieRose said...

If you did have a smooth sailing relationship, you would be married ;)

I know I look back at my past relationships and think, "Thank heavens nothing worked out with any of them!" None of them sailed smoothly.