The Anti-Austen

I really should be editing an English paper right now....

But I'm not.

Everyone has been telling me to make a chart of all the boys in my love life... SO I did that instead of my dumb English paper. I think it was a better use of my time. Right?

(Click to enlarge)

Our Dear Sir: I know you all were hoping for an epic love story here. Well guess what!? There turned out to be one! It just wasn't mine. Our Dear Sir and Shy Guy are actually one in the same. From what I understand, he has found someone that he gets along with quite nicely.... Who needs match.com when you have the Austen blog, right?

Egg Guy: As I mentioned before, we met at Good Girl's birthday party. He left his number on an egg. I texted it. Next thing you know, I have a date. It went really well. So he asked me out again for this Friday. And I said yes.

Mr. Ute: I also met Mr. Ute at a birthday party. (I know it's confusing, but you're following right?) We text all day long. It's great. He adores his nephews; which I adore. He drove down to see me on Sunday night. And then we had a date at Velor on Tuesday (this also might be confusing because my first date with Egg Guy was also at Velor last Friday). But this date was even better than the one with Egg Guy. You probably don't want all the mushy details right? Well, I'll write a few just to quell the requests of those who do. As we listened to the sweet tunes of Rocky Votolato, Mr. Ute stood behind me, hands on my shoulders while gently crooning the melodies into my ear. And then later he wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in one of those hugs from behind that are just absolutely my favorite. After the concert's end, we met up with the rest of the people in our group, and he just leaned down and kissed the top of my head. (CUTE) Later in the car, he grabbed my hand, thanked me for coming, and then promptly kissed the back of my hand. Can you see why were all rooting for him?

But remember how there's still that date with Egg Guy this Friday night?
After much deliberation with several people, I decided to talk to Mr. Ute about it. It went well. He said he knew we'd only been out on one date, but he hopes I know that he likes me and would like take me out on more dates.

umm. ok. I'm very much a fan of that.

Last night we skyped because Salt Lake is sooo far away. There are literally mountains between us. Lame. But we are going to meet up sometime to watch conference for a session or two this weekend.

So have you got it all sorted?

Because I think I do ;-)

-the Romantic

ps. What about the mission thing? Well, we aren't telling him about that... I'm not leaving for a good six months anyway...

I fell in love with this blog last week. Most of you probably already read it. But I wanted to share that adorable story anyway.

Also, not that I'm getting married anytime soon. But I love this wedding dress. (The groom is the lead singer in my favorite local band ... Guess I'll have to cross being a groupie off my To Do list)

Here's a little romantic ditty for you:

That song was included on the mix Mr. Ute gave me.
Hanging out with him last night was good. But I was having conniptions inside every time he put his arm around me... I'm a bit wary of relationships after everything that happened with Sweater Guy. Even if it was last August.

There was however the awkward hug goodbye at the doorstep. We're talking painfully awkward. I'm still cringing about it. He told me later he thought it was funny though.

Here's where the guilt sets in. Egg Guy asked me out for a second date this afternoon! And I said yes.
I'm not dating either of them... So I shouldn't feel guilty about going on dates with the both of them. Right?

I'm also getting sick... It's probably the guilt taking effect.

And then there's still the matter of my mission papers that are not quite being filled out yet... We're waiting until after finals to start that. But still...

Well, happy Monday readers! I hope your love lives are less complicated than mine.

-the Romantic

So the internet is being weird and this comment isn't showing up.

Lame.

But, this was too cute so we had to share it with you guys.

B^4 left this comment on "The Perfect Moment: A Guest Post From the Shy Guy":

"We know her, and she saw this!!! Check out her response:

http://thebubblys.blogspot.com/2011/03/perfect-respone-guest-post-from-not-so.html

p.s. we love you guys!"

We love you guys too! Seriously, the comments and responses that we get from you make this blog worth while.

Ciao bellas,
The Anti-Austens

I've never been one of those girls that's had options before.

In fact, I've always been used to having no options; which has driven me to the point of almost desperation where I would date a house plant if I could because at least they appreciate my nurturing attention.

But on Friday afternoon, I found myself texting two boys during English class! (Ok, so normally I don't text during class. But ENGL 311 sucks the very living soul from my body) And I was flirting with both of them... And it made me so flustered that I told one of them I needed to go. We've discussed my emotional constitution for dating on this blog before; and I have to say, I'm just not cut out for playing the field. Not only can my heart not love two men at the same time, it can't even be interested in two men at the same time.

So down to business.

Friday night was a blast! I'm not sure if it was due Egg Guy, or due to the fact that the performances were amazing. Dating Tip alert! Crowded places are a great idea for a date. You can lean in close for conversation, grab onto your date so you don't "lose" them. It breaks the awkward physical barrier that seems to occur on most first dates I've been on.

The conversation flowed pretty well. He didn't seem intimidated by the fact that I'm thinking about a doctorate. Most guys never say it, but in the pupils of their eyes, I can see their mini-selves fleeing at the though of being with an ambitious woman.

The awkward part: The date lasted waaaay too long. I didn't have the heart to tell him that no one shows up for all the shows right when they begin. So we were there from 8-12. And then he wanted to get ice cream. Dating Tip alert #2! Please don't make the dates too long!

The other awkward part: No good night hug. Talk about an awkward door step scene.

I did send a PDT the next day. But not without much deliberation about it with the roomies. Because, well, you see, there's this other guy I really like.

Mr. Ute. We're all rooting for him (and by we, I mean me, my roomies, and our favorite guy apartment). Remember how he was supposed to come over yesterday and drop off a mixed cd for me? Well, things didn't work out as planned, and in my monthly hormonal meltdown, I immediately took that to mean he didn't want to see me. (YES, I KNOW I'M A CRAZY PANTS)

But those fears were thrown out the window when we were talking about Pride & Prejudice. He said he'd never seen it. I told him how tragic that was. And that it was my favorite movie (what else would be?), so if he was looking for anyone to watch it with....

He then replied: Hmmm an offer to watch a movie with a beautiful, amazing girl...I'm gonna have to go with yes (insert bashful giggle here)

He is going to come down tonight and see me instead. Which I'm totally fine with. My worries: Will the face to face interaction live up to our textual relations? and This guy won't break my heart will he? I've had too much of that lately....

wish me luck
-the Romantic

Here’s a story to help you girls understand just a little better what us guys are thinking on our side of being friends/in a relationship.

So about a month ago I met a girl in my ward because we were put in to the same FHE group. I had never met her before because although we are supposed to know everyone in our ward she and I had different groups of friends we talked to at ward activities.

So I now find myself in her FHE group and it turns out that our whole family, except for me and a couple of her roommates really don’t come out for FHE. So that first night turns in to her and I just talking till I had to go for the night and as I was driving home I was thinking, “I might like this set up with our less active family” (not that I enjoy the thought of all those less active people, but you get the idea) The next week comes and this time not even her roommates can come, so I invite her over to my place to watch Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration. It was good of course, and we had ice cream afterward.

The next time I saw her was when she invited me to see a movie screening so I went with her to see it, it was funny and I honestly just enjoyed the fact that she invited me somewhere. So now it’s been about three weeks that I’ve known her and I haven’t asked her out on a real date yet, (yes, I’m mad at myself about that) but weird things happened each weekend I wasn’t doing much of anything with anyone. But she didn’t know that and I was thinking that my chance was slipping and maybe she was thinking I wasn’t that interested. (Girls, is that what you would think? Let me know.)

So another Monday comes and goes with just us, we sit in her apartment and talk about the scriptures for a while and then it turns to other things until it’s time for me to leave. So this week goes pretty well, we text a little each day, but it’s the next and most recent part that’s my favorite. So she invites me to a folk dance thing on campus, which sounds fun, I invite her to dinner first, and then we end up at the dance. It’s really meant for people that already know how to dance but she knew this before I got there, she sticks with me and teaches me the steps. We have a blast the whole time. There’s one dance that she doesn’t know and so we sit out on the side during that one. While we are sitting there she’s pointing out all her friends that are dancing past us but I’m not really listening cause I’m just looking at her and thinking how pretty she is and how much I wish I could tell her that.

That moment was perfect, she was just enjoying seeing her friends go by so her face was so natural and relaxed and the lighting was perfect, it was a like a scene from a movie or something. I hope I get the courage some day to tell her how I feel, I think I have a little bit of a chance, we’ll see.

Any way, there is my soap opera story. Sometimes us guys are just shy and don’t know how to tell girls what we think.

-the Shy Guy

How adorable is this post from one of our male readers?! I told him I wouldn't post this until he promised to ask her out. He said he was already working on it. As for my friday night plans... well, first i'm going to try and get over these pre-date jitters.

Have a lovely evening.

-the Romantic

So recently I had an experience with a certain boy. We'll call him Mr. Chivalry.

Anyway, I first saw this boy when he was giving a talk.
Let's just say he embodies my type: brown hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth, tan, tall.
Yes, yes, and yes.

I didn't talk to him in real life for a couple weeks. Later, I met him and a couple of his friends in the hot tub (no judging) and we made plans to make dinner together that Sunday. After that Mr. Chivalry and I hung out/talked every day. We shot guns, we went to a bonfire, we blew up milk gallons filled with gasoline (another story for another day), awkward attempted hand hold on his part, and lots of swimming. He even taught me to drive stick shift in his car (I wasn't too bad if I do say so myself). The day he taught me to drive he went to go play catch with his friend but he said he would call me later that night to watch a movie. I waited and waited and nothing. That whole weekend I didn't hear from him.

I called him out on it that Tuesday when he invited me to swim. He gave me some blah blah response about whatever.

I was confused. What happened?

So I went to my think tank to get to the bottom of it. Rewind to a couple of days ago. He offered to take me to dinner and I said no. I told him I wanted to, but I knew he didn't have a job and I didn't want to make him feel obligated to take me on a date with money he didn't have. He offered to take me a different time and I gave him the same response.

When I told my think tank about this, they were outraged. Telling a guy not to take you on a date because he doesn't have a job is the equivalent of kicking a guy where it counts and insulting his manhood.

Who knew? Here I was thinking I was "low maintenance" and easy going. I thought the way to make guys like you was by being chill and not expecting too much.

Lesson learned. Chivalry isn't dead and if a guy wants to take you on a date, let him even if it means he has to go sell his plasma.

-Miss Modern

A good point from a lovely reader.
I'll keep that in mind next time I need a dragon slayed.... But seriously.
xoxo
-the Romantic

For Good Girl's 21st birthday, we dyed easter eggs.

I know its a tad strange. But she owns a really cool Ukrainian egg decorating set. And that's really all she wanted in the way of party. So cake was made, songs were sung, and eggs were dyed!

This is where I met Egg Guy (as his name is affectionately saved in my phone). I didn't really even talk to Egg Guy that night. We met, exchanged names. But I was a little too caught up in the dance party that was going on in the living room to do much mingling. (Especially when this song played, which is my new favorite)

As a joke, Egg Guy had written his number on the egg he decorated. It was just to be silly I guess I'm not really sure. Like I said, I didn't talk to him much.

Several days later, on a night where I was full of goofy exuberance, I sifted through the decorated eggs sitting in a bowl on our table. Of course I found the one with the phone number. So of course I had to text it! It was the only thing my curious inclinations would allow me to do.

One thing led to another. And we're going to Velour on Friday. I would say I have no idea how I get myself into these sorts of situations. But I do.

So when my room mates exclaim, "Oh Romantic, you do meet men in the strangest of ways!"

I can only respond with my head hung low saying, "I know."

And then there's that other boy from that other party that I also met a couple weeks ago. He goes to the U (opps, I know, I'm betraying my true blue cougar blood). We are also going to Velour. But that will be for a show next Tuesday to see these guys. Did I mention that last night he told me I have beautiful brown eyes!? Beautiful! Why don't I just swoon right now!? And he's dropping by a mixed cd on saturday before the show so I can get a taste of the band's music that we're going to see. I'm such a sucker for mixed cds...

This has never happened to me before! My roomie said she needed a flow chart to keep track of all the men in my life. Well, me too!

I swear, men just come out of the wood works when you decide to put your mission papers in....

surprise!

meh. it's time for bed.

nighty night lovelies
-the Romantic

Here's a little math equation I've come up with: Co-workers + Relationships = Bad Idea. I'm sure most everyone already knows this, but apparently I have yet to learn.

Back in January, I liked this guy that I worked with (and still work with, as a matter of fact), named Daytrader. He was a flirty guy, you know, kinda one of those player-types that's super fun to be around but you know he never means anything serious. Daytrader and I had a lot in common, and we usually spent our time blissfully and sarcastically insulting one another in friendly verbal jousting. One night, as we were texting each other in our normal fashion, I received a shocker. He sent a "Can I tell you something?" which progressed from, "Never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow," into, "Let's just talk tonight," into a 1:30 am face-to-face DTR where I confessed that I was crushing on him. He never said he reciprocated but never said he didn't.

Anyway, a couple days later, I realized my foolishness in giving him the upper hand, and since Daytrader never broached the subject further, I decided to get over him. I also tattooed, "Never tell a guy you like him first" on my brain. Thanks for that Daytrader. We quickly slipped back to normal. Or at least normal enough to the point where he felt comfortable keeping me updated on his love life.

Two weeks ago and kind of out of the blue, I started dating Gilligan.

Just a day after Gilligan and I first held hands, I got an urgent phone call from Daytrader, who insistedItellhimwhereIwasbecau

seheneededtotalktomethatverysecond. We met up, and he grilled me about Gilligan. Daytrader was kind enough to say that 1) I shouldn't like someone just because they show interest in me and 2) I was doing things for the wrong reasons. After our little chat, he hinted back to our DTR (which we hadn't spoken of since), bought me ice cream, and told me I was interesting. Since then, he's contacted me every other day about random stuff like "What time is staff meeting?" when it has been at the same time every week for the entire semester. Really Daytrader??

This, my friends, is the Security Blanket Theory in action. (Side note: props to my friend E.T. who came up with this theory)

Let me enlighten you:
A guy has a nice bedspread on his bed, and he really likes it. However, in his closet, he likes to keep a couple extra blankets. That way, if he ever felt that he might lose the bedspread, he knows that he has several "just in case". Not to mention, having a couple extras on hand boosts his ego.

Here's the clincher: guys don't like to lose their security blankets, even if they are never planning on using them.

That is what Daytrader is up to now, or at least that's what it seems like. Since Gilligan has been on the scene, Daytrader's ego has taken a blow, and he wants his security blanket back. I know as a fact that if Gilligan and I were to break up, Daytrader would not date me, because to him, I am and always will be just a security blanket.

Thank goodness I got over him! Find yourself a new security blanket Daytrader. For those of you out there who are security blankets folded up in a closet, drop him! He doesn't deserve you. And you don't deserve to be sitting on a shelf.

- Frostbite

Thank you for your insights Frosbite. Being a guy's security blanket is always my worst fear...

-the Romantic

ps. as i was posting this, a boy i met at a party a couple weeks ago called to ask me out for monday (squeal)

and i have a date for friday.... that one will be featured in my next post: easter comes early for the romantic

"Hey Romantic! What ever happened with Guitar Hero?" you ask.

Great question. Let me tell you.

I suppose I should rewind a bit and talk about my feelings towards the gentleman. So you all know that I've had a bit of a crush on him since last semester. But I've always known I couldn't date him. Our personalities just wouldn't mesh very well in a couple type relationship. I know that. I've always know that. That's why I've been content to creeper love him from afar for so long. Among other awkward things... did i really post that??? That must have been a rough night.

However, I still wanted to talk after we held hands. That's not too crazy of me right?

I go over to his apartment last Tuesday. Perfect. He was alone. But right as I'm mustering the courage to say, "Hey remember that one time we held hands? yeah, what was that about?", his room mates come home. Opportunity lost. So I text him later and and ask if we can talk sometime. He said yes. And so I set up a time to talk the next day.

Last Wednesday dawned bright and clear. And if you'll remember, that's the day I met one of our readers. He asked me to dinner, I said yes not remembering that I had made plans to chat with Guitar Hero that night. So as our blogging friend was dropping me off at my apartment and I was giving him a hug goodbye, Guitar Hero was walking around the corner catching me in full embrace with another man!!!! Which isn't so bad because I'm not dating either of them, but I just felt bad! How trashy does that make me seem? As my roomies constantly remind me, I am a floozy.

Later, Guitar Hero and I talk. It was slightly awkward.... my bad. I just have a lot of feelings.... we'll skip those details though. So we go inside my apartment again. He stays until the pumpkin hour (aka curfew). But right before he leaves, he pauses at the door and says, "Weeeelll, uh I'm just gonna go and play some Guitar Hero. Bye guys!"
Door shuts. And he leaves. Remember the awkward meaningful glances exchanged around the dinner table. NOTHING in comparison to the glances then exchanged between my roomies and I after that moment!!!!

So somehow, in his conniving, computer hacking ways, Guitar Hero found this blog....And he will probably read this post very soon in the near future.

So, I've been compromised....

How do I feel now? Another good question... I'm not sure. But I probably won't be writing about Guitar Hero any more (so you can stop reading this now GH).

Other items of business:

A really great reader posted this about how the beard rule helps us keep the honor code. Very insightful... and I agree wholeheartedly. Controlling myself around men with beards is quite the struggle at times.

Also, this is a call for you writers out there! As much as I love writing (just as much I'm sure as you love reading what I have to say), I need some help.... I'm thinking about doing a guest post series... Email me a writing sample. And we'll see....

Have a lovely date night!

-the Romantic

I'm just really attracted to men with beards....

But that's not allowed at BYU.

(sigh)

Because seriously, this guy.... attractive.

(photo credit goes to this guy)

-the Romantic

Babylonian Marriage Market 1875 Edward Long

"Once a year in each village the maidens of age to marry were collected all together into one place; while the men stood round them in a circle. Then a herald called up the damsels one by one, and offered them for sale. He began with the most beautiful. When she was sold for no small sum of money, he offered for sale the one who came next to her in beauty. All of them were sold to be wives. The richest of the Babylonians who wished to wed bid against each other for the loveliest maidens, while the humbler wife-seekers, who were indifferent about beauty, took the more homely damsels with marriage-portions."
-Herodotus Histories Book I

Oh Herodotus, who knew that so many centuries ago, the marriage practices that you describe would still be in use today. But it's worse now! No longer do I need to have beauty alone, but I have to cook, sew, and carve ice sculpture center pieces! I sit in the end of the line, awaiting my fate, feeling much like an ape with no domestic skills to speak of. My fellow sisters-in-dating await the same fate, growing more crazed by the minute. This is no exaggeration! We pull our hair out in anguish over marriage; some of us fearing we will never get married, and some of us fearing the man standing to the side, counting his money, gazing at us expectantly, just waiting for the moment when we will settle.

It's ridiculous really.... But how else are we supposed to get married around here?*

-the Romantic

*a note: you get this is satire right?

Dear readers,

I hope you understand if I begin to be a little bit more general in my writing, and less specific about certain readers.... (cough, cough)

And besides... I'm going to be really too busy this weekend to write much; what with term papers, studying, and a old room mate reunions.

Oh yeah, and that 2nd date with our Dear Sir but I really think that's all I'm going to say about that, except that I'm excited....

So my dear readers, have a lovely weekend. And please don't ever feel like this lonely whale; there is always someone who will be able to hear your voice.

-the Romantic

So, our dear sir responded to my outlandish inquiry and we met in person!

We spent some time walking around the MoA, one of my favorite places on campus. And he listened to me babble on about my favorite pieces in the Dorthea Lange exhibit.
(Did you know I thought that was really sweet? I know not many people care when I babble on about art, but you did. And I thought it was sweet.)

And then he invited me over to his place for dinner. And I accepted.

How did it go you ask? I'm afraid now that since my anonymity has been erased, I can't exactly write everything that I would like.

BUT

I did send him a PDT if that's any sort of indication. ;-)

-the Romantic

I hope this isn't too weird. And I may even delete this later because I feel that weird about typing this. But oh well, here it goes.

Confession time.

When we get new followers, or people that comment on our posts, I'll check out their profiles, and scan their blogs from time to time. It's all in the name of curiosity; just to see who reads our stuff. .

There is one particular male reader who's commented on a couple things.

So naturally, I've read your blog dear sir. And you know what? You have great things to say! And your picture is really cute. (yeah, i just went there) My intrigue has been peaked. But this isn't the 90's, and you just can't go approaching people on the internet. It's weird.

However, today I was making my way through the library, and I saw you! And we made that weird eye contact that strangers do. I knew I recognized you from somewhere, but I couldn't remember where from. I only knew it was somewhere that I should probably be embarrassed about, so I immediately averted my eyes. And it wasn't until I walked past that I realized we'd never met before. And yet, if you have read a lot of our blog, then you know me in a way that only my closest friends do.

It was the strangest sensation. I felt like you'd recognized me. Which is impossible. Of course. Isn't it?

I don't really know where I'm going with this.

Maybe its too many late nights watching Sleepless in Seattle with my room mates. But I'm feeling bold today and why not pull a meg ryan? After all, they don't call me the Romantic for nothing.

So here it goes:
You don't seem like the type of guy a girl should just pass by. So, I'd like to formally introduce myself. If you're up for it. Email me?

And if not, then that's fine. But thank goodness for anonymity.

-the Romantic

ps. for those of you who are wondering how i could do something so bold after last weekend, i don't know where this is coming from. but guitar hero isn't worth it. and if this aforementioned reader's posts are any indication of what type of person he is, then he is worth an outlandish inquiry that may or my not garner a response.

who knew i could be so bold?

Guitar Hero and I were watching a movie with a couple of his room mates. I think this is important to note because usually there's a whole crowd of people at his apartment, so this was different. We were sitting all cozy on the couch, arms and legs touching, as usual whenever I'm over. He wasn't acting any differently than normal. He's a bit of a touchy feely guy; so as I mentioned before, I'd pretty much given up on anything happening between us.

I got cold, so I asked for a blanket. He then, promptly grabbed one and put it over the both of us. I was still sitting with my arms crossed because of how cold I was.

And then, I thought I felt the faint touch of his pinkie on my thigh. Was he touching my leg???

But I got scared. One of my biggest fears was that this whole thing as all been in my head; that every signal I've been reading is nothing more than a misread gesture. From somewhere deep within, I gathered the courage to put my hand on my thigh.

And then, the magical moment happened when we touched pinkies. I felt slightly juvenile. I've never had so much build-up to a hand holding before. It was barely a second after we'd touched pinkies before he just grabbed my entire hand and began tracing the palm of my hand up to my finger tips and back down again. I snuggled into his side deeper. He would put his hands on my knees from time to time. He was no bad cuddler.

Fast forward to Saturday. I didn't hear anything at all from him. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Zero.... He did stop by our apartment to play the guitar for awhile. And we talked about nothing while I'm sure my room mates speculated wildly about what we were saying through the window. But we only talked of homework and the weather. Confused much? Me too.

I consider holding hands a pretty big deal. I know it doesn't mean we're dating. And that's fine. But I expected some sort of acknowledgment.

Last night, my roomies and I went over to watch another movie. He and I sat by each other. But it was completely different than it had been the night before. I leaned on him a little bit, but got nothing back. So I didn't push it.

I'm deeply worried I've made a huge mistake. Am I about to get my heart broken yet again? Will my hopes get dashed right when they had been raised to such high heights?

cordially,
-the Romantic

Guitar Hero held my hand last night.

I'm not so sure where this is going.

Yours truly (confused),
-the Romantic

I think you'll all be pleased to know that the PDT worked, and Good Girl has a date with the tall, blond, pre-med major, from a mountainous town nestled in the Rockies that likes to read (I mean the guy, not the town) on Saturday.

She regaled me with a dramatic reading of my post, and your comments last night... I didn't know I was so funny out loud. Also, on a bit of a random note, we greatly appreciate your comments here at the Anti-Austen. It makes us feel good. I raise my figurative glass to you dear readers. Your laughter keeps me going.

Well, German class approaches within the next few hours, and I am determined to talk to the cute boy in my class (withstanding I don't swoon at the sight of his attractive forearms). So now, I must go brainstorm witty things to say about the weather, Otto von Bismarck, or neoclassical architecture. Wish me luck!

Happy weekend
-the Romantic

Tuesday night, we found ourselves again, gathered around the table talking and laughing.

Our room mate, the Good Girl, had just gotten home from a date, and we were grilling her for details.

"What did you guys do?"
"Did you have fun?"
"What did you talk about?"
"How do you feel?"
"What do you think about how you're feeling?"
"Do you want to marry him?" (that one was me)

The date went well she said. Her date was a tall, blond, pre-med major, from a mountainous town nestled in the Rockies that likes to read (I mean the guy, not the town). Where can I find me one of those? She also said I would like his taste in music, because its the weird stuff no one really listens to...... Oh gee, thanks...

"Are you gonna do the 'after date text'?" I asked.

"Am I supposed to do an after date text?" she shot back.

"If you had a good time.... I mean, I've just heard that's what guys like. Although, I can't really speak from experience, because the last guy I 'after date' texted is now engaged." I answered.

The debate sprung up around the table with each roomie giving their input. And then Reggie stopped by. He encouraged the text. Just something simple, short, but not too sweet was his answer. You don't want to creep them out.

With much coaching, she eventually sent it! We waited in dense anticipation for his response. He agreed in kind that the night had been fun! Cheers erupted around the table!

So, here's my question: To text, or not to text? Does it matter? And what do you say? Should it be that night? Or should it be the next day?
Dear men, what do we have to do to let you know we're interested?

In other news: I'm trying to get over Guitar Hero, since nothing is happening, and I'm pretty sure he's not interested.... It's not working out so well. I stopped by to say hi last night, and ended up staying for several hours instead of writing the big research paper I have due tomorrow.

However, the cute boy from my German class actually talked to me! And then I couldn't help staring at his attractive fore arms for the rest of the class period.

Some day, I hope to stop being a creeper. But that won't happen anytime soon! Until then,

ciao bellas.
-the Romantic

I hate myself for saying this, because to compare a real life person to Mr. Collins seems to me horribly cruel.

But I know everyone of us has had some encounters with real life Mr. Collinses.

The dear Mr. Collins of our ward is so very nice and kind, but I can't help raising my eyebrows a bit when I hear stories of his ketchup sandwiches and teletubbie references.

Last night, Mr. Collins asked me to dance at our stake dance. Which was fine, I didn't mind at all! I was happy to be dancing with someone, and not standing against the wall as I did during every slow song, during every stake dance in high school.

The only awkward part was how he closed his eyes for a good portion of the song. He led me around in a gentle circle, eyes shut, with a goofy, perfectly contented, half smile upon his pointed face... This went on for a good 30 seconds.

I smiled sheepishly to myself. Was this really happening? And for goodness sakes, what I was supposed to do while he stood there dancing with his eyes closed, smiling?

Am I destined to be as Charlotte, settling for a Mr. Collins while my Mr. Darcy never shows up?

(sigh)

I'm afraid I just don't love ketchup enough for that to ever happen.

Until next time lovelies,
-the Romantic

The gathering place for our apartment is the kitchen table. People come over to visit, and we just sit around the table for hours and hours talking and laughing.

Monday night was a cacophony of sound as we all sat around the kitchen table recounting the tales of our glorious three day weekends. (Mine unfortunately, was spent doing homework.)

People stopped in and out, pausing for a few minutes to laugh and talk with us. One of my roomies even got asked out on a date while sitting at the kitchen table that night (but that's a post for a different time).

Later, as the noise settled, Guitar Hero stopped by. As per my usual behavior, I creeper loved him from across the table. Of course, the topic of dating came up.... I think it had something to do with the stake dance. Most of my roomies aren't going, and so I think I was contemplating out loud just third wheeling it with the one roomie who is going. And then someone said, "Why don't you just ask someone to go with you?" To which I replied quite dramatically, "I'm tired of chasing men, I want a man to chase me for a change." And then I think I threw my head down on the table and moaned about how men run from me... or something to that effect. It was late, and I'd eaten a lot of cookies, and done a lot of homework. I'm not quite sure my faculties were completely intact.

Here's where the panic comes in.

Guitar hero says, "That's not true. I read your blog. Guys like you."

OMGOSH! SAY WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

A deathly silence befell the normally exuberant table. I looked at him questioningly. My room mates looked at me. I looked back at them. There was nothing but awkward meaningful glances for at least 2o seconds.

I finally decided to stop ignoring the giant elephant in the room and asked, "What have you read exactly?"

"Your blog, that you post on your facebook page...."

IMMEDIATE RELIEF! He reads my personal blog, (which, although highly entertaining and insightful, does not declare my undying creeper love for him; so we're safe)

"But what was that?" he asks, referring to the awkward aforementioned meaningful glances. "Is this about your dating blog???" oh crap. oh crap. oh crap. why did i tell him i was a writer? and why did i tell him i write on an anonymous dating blog when he asked what type of writing i do?

I don't even remember how I responded, but I probably said something along the lines of: "Noooo, there's nothing on that blog... It's just silly girl stuff."

I have a horrible lying voice apparently, as he then promptly sprinted back to his apartment to search for this blog on the internet....

Luckily, he didn't find it. And hopefully, he never will.

But man, that was a close call.

ciao
-the Romantic

So last night I tried to go to bed early, but as per usual, it didn't work. I ended up staying up until three reading about my zodiac sign.

Don't be too alarmed, I do not take astrology seriously...but sometimes it seems mostly true.

Sometimes I just really want it to be true.

I am The Eccentric One, remember? So just go with it.

Well I am an Aries--the sign of the ram, lively and adventurous. I read my 2011 report based on the alignment of stars, and this year looks pretty good. I should find success in my love life, and I can expect some of my career dreams to come true too. I can't help but think that my dream of writing a successful independent film or novel can come true and then I can date Mark Salling. It could happen right? As an Aries, I never lose my childhood ability to dream and see the world as a magical place, but don't worry, I'm not holding my breath.

Reading my horoscope is like opening up a fortune cookie. It is a little treat where the message only satisfies and entertains for a few moments...well sometimes longer when it was just that good. And really, who wants to keep their fortune a secret?

Anyway, there was also a zodiac compatibility tab. I couldn't resist clicking my mouse.

I have a really good memory, so I used birthdays to look up a few men's astrology signs. Just to see if we were meant to be.

The results seemed alarmingly true. I will not disclose which sign connections I researched because I feel that I have already revealed too much in saying that I am an Aries. What's next? The color of my toothbrush? I wouldn't dare.

"Wild and expansive imagination. When mind and emotions link, it's magical. Quirky and adventurous--it works. Life is exciting--this is a winning combination." --Universal Psychic Guild; these describe connections with different signs. Yes, I do realize I gave you an opportunity to do your research and confirm my research.

Based on my own interpretation and embellishment of current situations all of these predictions seem possible.

Is it weird that this little trip down astrology avenue gives me encouragement? I know it really doesn't mean much, but it gives me hope that there is someone out there for me, that I currently know people who I could work well with.

Mr. Whoever, just know that I hope to find you one day. Then I won't have to dream about being an Aries stuck in a storage closet on a reality TV show, I can dream about you.

apparently there are still men left with romantic bones in their body.

if only I could find one that lives in Provo.

(click here)

tschussie
-the Romantic

I'm just going to go ahead and say a little something that might be a little taboo for some of our readers. So read at your own risk.

I would really like to make out with someone right now...

Ok. Now before you get offended, I'm just sayin' it. I won't go out and actually do it. I made a promise to myself a long time ago to only kiss someone I'm in a relationship with. And that's been a pretty safe road so far. Only two boyfriends, and only two boys kissed.

But I'm just afraid that this frustration might build up inside and then explode into awkwardness. I.e. I will end up throwing myself at Guitar Hero if I'm not careful. I almost reached out to scratch his back several times last night. Geez, I really hope I haven't been staring hungrily at his lips....

Judge me if you must, but I know several dear friends who've been in my place as well.

It's times such as these where I'm extremely glad for the anonymity of this blog...

ciao darlings
-the Romantic

Enchanté my future friends and confidants.

I had hoped that my inaugural post would be on Saint Valentine's Day, but alas my night owl ways prevented the fulfillment of this wish. Can't this still count since I haven't gone to bed yet?

Valentine's Day has been very charming. Despite not wearing any make up and not having any secret admirers, I had a truly great day of love. I love my friends and myself, which is something to celebrate. Cookies, flowers bought for ourselves, Justin Bieber, and chocolate all topped off with An Affair to Remember banished any old tunes playing from past pity parties due to the lack of men folk.

Now on to a more formal introduction.

I am affectionately known as The Eccentric One. Sometimes it is hard to admit, but this name is always a perfect fit. Just when I think I have connected with someone, I realize that we are on completely different trains of thought, and my only destination is left field. I am not sure that my scanty experiences and opinions will resonate with all you lovely readers, but my hope is that maybe other eccentrics will see that we are not alone. As they say, everyone is crazy, some people are just better at hiding it. I rarely try to hide it anymore. We'll see how it works out or if it leads to a make out...
My dating experience adds up to only a handful of awkward nights, an almost lover of a best friend, and one man who essentially only offered me his lips. I am telling you this so you don't expect a report like this past weekend's all the time.

It was a weekend to surpass all weekends because I actually did everything I wanted to do.

Friday afternoon, I got an unexpected call from Gucci. This is a close friend from freshman year. He just got back from his mission, where he got a specially tailored white suit to match his knock-off Gucci shoes. Hence the name. Anyway, I always felt like he was the male version of me, which turns out to be much more feminine in a man--this was not all that appealing. I freaked out when I thought he maybe liked me, and then I freaked out more when my roommate started to fall in love with him. All these fears still rise up in me whenever I see him or even text him.

The call turned out better than I was expecting. Gucci's friend was doubling with a potentially overwhelmingly awkward old roommate, and wanted a wingman. As a mutual friend, with perpetually open date nights, I was called to step in.

We went to dinner and then went to the Provo Beach Resort. It may possibly be a little gem for the Provo dating scene. There is indoor surfing, need I say more? We just bowled. Which was absolutely great--I love bowling, there is something so raw and vintage in the sport. It went well for the friend, and I think it was good for me too. Nothing really happened, and because Gucci has asked me out on this kind of date, I think he is less likely to ask me out on a romantic date, and I do not have to say no (Something I can't do because, until recently, I have never really had the opportunity to. I also have guilt issues).

I also had the pleasure of attending the Peter Pan Preference Dance with The Romantic on Saturday. (That sounds like I was a creepy third-wheel to her date with Guitar Hero, but I promise I wasn't.) It was so fun and I consider it a complete success. Hopefully you want details because here they come.

I asked Reggie (to be said in a British Accent). Reggie is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. He is a boy in the ward, and we have been friends for over a year, but I am just starting to really know him. At first glance, Reggie is a simple air head with a horrendous British accent. It's worse than mine, if that is even possible. But underneath this nonchalant persona lies a smart, thoughtful, guy who is good at basically anything he tries.

I asked him by writing "Want to not grow up with me this Saturday? Preference?" on aged paper bag and wrapped the note around one of my play swords. I left it on his doorstep and ran, my heart pounding. I want to take a moment to applaud the men who court women because it takes a lot of confidence.

Literally seconds later, Reggie comes over with the sword behind his back. I rush to hide in back, but only make it the fridges. Apparently, a girl shouldn't be there when a guy comes to answer? I really don't know. Anyway, the atmosphere quickly churned into a state of painful awkwardness. My roommates kept hinting for his answer, but nothing seemed to be making sense. Eventually they just asked if he read the note. Then Reggie said he had thought he saw something on the sword with his name on it. Turned out as Reggie picked up the sword the note had fallen off the balcony to the depths of the first floor. The awkwardness--sorry to keep using this word, but it truly is the only fitting word--turned out to be funny. And I wasn't being rejected, sigh of relief.
Reggie just thought the sword meant we wanted to play, so he came over. Adorable. Just like a puppy.

The answer--when he finally figured out there was a question--was absolutely hysterical, even though it was coined and written by a dear female friend not Reggie. A pair of damp pants were set outside my door with a note that read "I Petered my Pans when you asked me...so I guess that's a yes?"

I wish Peter Pan Preference could have gone on straight 'til morning. Dancing is one of my greatest states of catharsis and it's just plain fun. I dressed as a fairy to Reggie's Peter Pan, and we both carried plastic swords. Reggie stole the night with his dance moves. He was out of control in the best way possible. At one point, he lifted me up in what is dubbed the "Simba Move." This was not only an inside joke from a true story, but also one of my favorite things ever. Nothing is better than being swept off your feet by a man.

I sincerely hope Reggie had as much fun as I did. Fun not romance was the agenda for the night, and I think that is why it went so well.

Well I hope this is the start of a very beautiful friendship. I'm not too sure about many things in my life right now, but I do know that it is all some kind of wonderful.

xoxo
-the eccentric one

I'm embracing this holiday with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

I've already eaten copious amounts of chocolate. And tonight, I'm planning on curling up with the girls to watch An Affair to Remember. I'm reveling in the holiday and loving it.

But what about you dear reader? How are you going to celebrate?

Here are some Valentine's gems to help you along:

including a throw back post from our early days about one of the most romantic moments of my life

old wedding photos

and perhaps a night out at my favorite provo restaurant will help you to celebrate tonight

oh, and just one more thing:

xoxo
-the Romantic

A Chart

As if you hadn't had enough cute stories lately...

A Response

Playing the Field

The Perfect Moment: A Guest Post from the Shy Guy

Chivalry Isn't Dead:A Guest Post

happy easter!!! (sort of)

Security Blanket Theory: A guest post

Compromised

I guess the problem is....

Provo Marriage Market

Playin' it close to the chest

Straight out of a chick flick

Soul Bearing: In which the Romantic boldy goes where only Meg Ryan has gone before

Holding Hands

Talk about mixed signals

Weekend Update

The Great Debate

Eyes Wide Closed

Close Call

Written In the Stars

If only...

Frustrated.

Some Kind of Wonderful

Anyone up for a little romance?

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