Security Blanket Theory: A guest post

3/22/2011 The Romantic 5 Comments

Here's a little math equation I've come up with: Co-workers + Relationships = Bad Idea. I'm sure most everyone already knows this, but apparently I have yet to learn.

Back in January, I liked this guy that I worked with (and still work with, as a matter of fact), named Daytrader. He was a flirty guy, you know, kinda one of those player-types that's super fun to be around but you know he never means anything serious. Daytrader and I had a lot in common, and we usually spent our time blissfully and sarcastically insulting one another in friendly verbal jousting. One night, as we were texting each other in our normal fashion, I received a shocker. He sent a "Can I tell you something?" which progressed from, "Never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow," into, "Let's just talk tonight," into a 1:30 am face-to-face DTR where I confessed that I was crushing on him. He never said he reciprocated but never said he didn't.

Anyway, a couple days later, I realized my foolishness in giving him the upper hand, and since Daytrader never broached the subject further, I decided to get over him. I also tattooed, "Never tell a guy you like him first" on my brain. Thanks for that Daytrader. We quickly slipped back to normal. Or at least normal enough to the point where he felt comfortable keeping me updated on his love life.

Two weeks ago and kind of out of the blue, I started dating Gilligan.

Just a day after Gilligan and I first held hands, I got an urgent phone call from Daytrader, who insistedItellhimwhereIwasbecau
seheneededtotalktomethatverysecond. We met up, and he grilled me about Gilligan. Daytrader was kind enough to say that 1) I shouldn't like someone just because they show interest in me and 2) I was doing things for the wrong reasons. After our little chat, he hinted back to our DTR (which we hadn't spoken of since), bought me ice cream, and told me I was interesting. Since then, he's contacted me every other day about random stuff like "What time is staff meeting?" when it has been at the same time every week for the entire semester. Really Daytrader??

This, my friends, is the Security Blanket Theory in action. (Side note: props to my friend E.T. who came up with this theory)

Let me enlighten you:
A guy has a nice bedspread on his bed, and he really likes it. However, in his closet, he likes to keep a couple extra blankets. That way, if he ever felt that he might lose the bedspread, he knows that he has several "just in case". Not to mention, having a couple extras on hand boosts his ego.

Here's the clincher: guys don't like to lose their security blankets, even if they are never planning on using them.

That is what Daytrader is up to now, or at least that's what it seems like. Since Gilligan has been on the scene, Daytrader's ego has taken a blow, and he wants his security blanket back. I know as a fact that if Gilligan and I were to break up, Daytrader would not date me, because to him, I am and always will be just a security blanket.

Thank goodness I got over him! Find yourself a new security blanket Daytrader. For those of you out there who are security blankets folded up in a closet, drop him! He doesn't deserve you. And you don't deserve to be sitting on a shelf.

- Frostbite

Thank you for your insights Frosbite. Being a guy's security blanket is always my worst fear...

-the Romantic

ps. as i was posting this, a boy i met at a party a couple weeks ago called to ask me out for monday (squeal)

and i have a date for friday.... that one will be featured in my next post: easter comes early for the romantic

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Heidi said...

what is a DTR?

Heidi said...

so what happened with Our Dear Sir?

Camille said...

yay you, frostbite, for recognizing what daytrader is doing and not succumbing to his charm!

Anonymous said...

A DTR is a talk where you "Define The Relationship" with a guy. Generally you talk about what you two "are" and if you are dating or not :)

anna said...

I've also had friends define DTR as "Destroy The Relationship", though this is mostly/usually in jest. Usually.