A brief vacation.

5/18/2012 The Lady 1 Comments

Friends, Patrons, Readers, Benefactors, et cetera,
There are still some ends to tie up with the Dex saga, but it can wait. It has been dragging out, even if I do say so myself. I have condensed it as much as I could whilst still giving details, and needless to say, I have not learned how to give the Reader's Digest version of it very well. Even when people ask about it in conversation, it takes at least an hour if they want more than, "Once I dated a boy, we wanted to get married, then we broke up." So I apologize to those of you who are as dreadfully sick of it as I am, and I apologize to those of you who have been so wonderfully supportive and hungry for the story as I have been as well, but I am taking a break from it this week.
"Hallelujahs" and "Boos" all around! (I will even accept indifferent shrugs). I sat at my desk to write the next bit, but I simply could not find my words, so I am taking a brief vacation from the whole ordeal. Those of you still interested, please tune in next Friday for the next phase of "The Lady and a boy named Dex", and those of you who can't stand it, you have my hearty permission to vacate the blog every Friday for the next few weeks.

I do not know exactly what it was that possessed me to write these scraps of life down for you to read. You might call it persuasion. I had vowed silently to myself to never mention Dex again. To never speak of him. To never write of him. To never think of him. But Dex has been present in my life everyday since that magical summer we fell deep into the sentiment of "like". He has existed there often bitingly, a sharp stabbing haunting ghost of my past, and he has existed there as peacefully as a mere wisp of a memory on the edge of dreaming. He makes himself known to me in nightmares and daydreams, in conversations with my sister, brother, parents, friends, acquaintances. Somehow everyday for the past however many years, he has found a way to creep or push himself into my thoughts.

Until recently, I attempted to force myself to forget, to hate his memory, so that I could fall out of love. For a year or so, I thought that it had worked that I had triumphed and Dex was just my past. I would never speak of him and I would never see him ever again for as long as I lived. But I have experienced a change of heart as we term it. Now when I think of him, I feel peace. I know that I have not forgotten because I cannot, and that I still am in love with him. It doesn't hurt me now as it did then. There is so much peace in acknowledging it to myself. I love Dex. I feel peace about my future, whether Dex is a part of it or not. I know that if (miracle of miracles) we ever end up together, I will have peace, and if I do not (as I expect) I will have peace. The uncertainty is quite romantic.

Now on to other things. As one might assume, the Man (them) vs. Lady (me) battle has ceased as I have been chronicling my Dexterly woes, too caught up with my past love to do much of anything about having a dating life.
Au contraire mes amis! If anything, my dating life has picked up, which leads me to believe that it is just a conspiracy. Nevertheless, I have been enjoying the attention.

I went on a date with The Preacher last week, and had a marvelous time however unexpected it was. I just always feel so incredibly helpless when a perfectly normal/only slightly quirky guy asks me out and I enjoy their company and there isn't any reason for me to not be interested in them except for the fact that I simply am not. I think this is the case with most dates. Usually dates are extraordinarily normal, but nothing is . . . there. But ah well. Things will set themselves right I suppose.

There was a hint of the resurrection of my entrancing powers just the other day. I spent all of home evening on Monday surrounded by (and adoring) Clive, The Beanstalk, The Preacher, and Perry Mason (who is still dating that one blasted girlfriend). It was delightful. I spent home evening with them and then I watched a movie with them. I hung out with all of them yesterday and will probably do the same on Sunday and Tuesday next. It has been glorious. I am slightly at a loss as to what I should do however. Do I bide my time and put things off until I am certain that Dex and I are parting forever, or do I dive right in? Right now I am content just splashing about the shallow waters of harmless flirting.

Wishing you all well and the best of all spring-timey weekends.

Con Amor,
The Lady

P.S. We are still looking forward to your
entries for our
contest! We've received
some beautiful entries thus far and encourage,
nay plead for you to send us some more.

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Sarah said...

I am EAGERLY awaiting the rest of the Dex story but it sounds like you have other stories to share as well...