The Lady and a boy named Dex: Persuasion

5/04/2012 The Lady 3 Comments

Once upon a time, The Lady fell in love. Honest to goodness love. This is the story of her journey in and out of it and back into it again.

Dex asked me almost everyday if I would marry him. And I replied with a satisfied, "Yes," every time. I felt as though I had struck gold with Dex. Not every girl gets a marriage proposal everyday. Dex and I would have gotten married that winter if there had not been obstacles which prevented us from doing so.

1. Dex was not yet a baptized member of the Church. Though he could have gotten baptized without it, he was on a long road battling for the approval of his father.

2. Dex was determined to do his duty and serve a mission.

3. Both of our parents were strongly opposed to our relationship, and any mention of our plans for marriage would have caused several fainting spells and/or heart attacks.

Our greatest enemy was time. Dex would be baptized and serve a mission, and I would wait. Oh, yes, I was determined to wait for over three years. As for our parents being opposed to the whole ordeal, I felt that either they would become accustomed to the idea over time, or Dex and I would go the romantic route and marry despite the disapproval of our families. Very Romeo and Juliet.

Dex and I continued along our happy trail of courtship, talking about babies and houses every step of the way. We were in over our heads. We couldn't have backed out of this if we wanted to. Not cleanly at least. But the point was that we didn't want to back out. We weren't going to back out. This was the future we wanted.

That December, I made the long drive home for the Christmas holiday, anticipating what I thought would be a wonderful time with my family. But for two excruciatingly long weeks, I was bombarded with questions and badgered by my parents to end my relationship with Dex, whom they had never even met.

Them: "He's not a member."

Me: "He's getting baptized next week."

Them: "He needs to serve a mission."

Me: "He's planning on it."

Them: "You'll get in his way. You might mess up. He shouldn't be in a relationship before his mission."

It was probably the worst Christmas of my life, and as soon as I could, I escaped. After Christmas, Dex finally got baptized, a new semester started, and all seemed to be well again. At least until my parents came to visit. It was a nightmare. My parents met Dex and they met his parents. While unsupervised, our parents began to discuss our relationship and their feelings regarding it. They all came to the consensus that it was not wise for the two of us to be so seriously dating at that time. Our parents got along swimmingly, united in their opposition towards us.

My parents informed me of this little accord, and attempted to persuade me further. But I refused. This was probably the most rebellious I had ever been in my whole life. I was normally quite an obedient child, but I had never been so relieved to say goodbye to my parents. However, despite my relief at their departure, my innate desire for obedience began to complain against me. I took my worries to Dex, and he understood my concerns being a dutiful son himself. But we had decided to stick this out for the long haul. We were firm that night that my parents left, but it was the last time that we were ever together.

The next several months were dreadful for me. I had lost one of the most important people in my life. And he wasn't even dead. I would see him on campus and he would sometimes wave, but that was all. I became melodramatic. Intensely so. I honestly feel sorry (and wish to apologize) for anyone who associated with me at this time. I was a wreck, and it effected everything I did. I used to mock people like me until I experienced it for myself. It was my Marianne Dashwood period. I had hated Marianne until this point. Why couldn't she just be logical? But if I was anything during this period, it was not logical.

My dearest Lady,
I feel as though I'm abandoning you, and I'm so sorry. Please never doubt my love for you. And please don't do anything that we'll regret.


Regret soon became my nature.

Con Amor,
The Lady

"If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty..." -Persuasion

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Anonymous said...

But I thought your family loved him! Your sister? Your brother? Why wouldn't your parents love him if your siblings did? ARGH.

Anonymous said...

I may or may not have cried...a bit. Is there hope for after a mission?

flutefairy said...

Oh my gosh, this story is too much like my story. It makes me slightly ill to remember this phase in my life.