A Tale of Two Set-Ups

3/07/2012 The Closer 1 Comments

Most people I know are not huge fans of being set up.

That's probably because blind dates are often awkward, or terrible, or just a waste of time. I've never minded set ups too much, but that is because having extra people trying to help me find love seems like something I shouldn't complain about. My mentality for a long time has been that a blind date will either be a fun time or a funny story, and yes, it's usually the latter. In the last week or so I've gone on two set ups, and the first one caused me to come to a new epiphany.

My date lived in Salt Lake, and since it was a double date with a friend of mine, I rode with her and her date to the concert we were going to in Salt Lake. On the way there, they started prepping me for meeting this mystery man. (I will mention the disclaimer that my friend admitted that she didn't know how interested I would be, but maybe it would be a fun date anyway). At first her date (a good friend of the mystery man) told me that my date was "SO awesome". Then, as the drive continued, I started to find out a few more details... you know, like the fact that he didn't go on a date all of 2011.

Upon hearing this information, after my immediate feeling of regret for agreeing to this date, I decided that I would do a service to this man (and maybe his future wife) and help him to have a great time on this date. I knew that because we were meeting there and it would be the four of us together the whole night, he wouldn't have many opportune moments to try and get my number, and with a back story like that, I was assuming that he didn't have much "game" to do so anyway. Both of these points gave me confidence to believe that I could be friendly, and fun, and maybe even a little flirty, and not have things end awkwardly.

I am telling you, this plan worked SO well. He had fun, the night ended smoothly and without further commitments, and I had a much more enjoyable time than I would have anticipated! It was so much easier to have fun when I stopped worrying about whether or not I was interested, or if he was going to be interested in me, or if I was going to have to reject him. I figured that I would just cross any of those bridges when I got to them, and I didn't have to cross any.

A few days later I got set up again, and decided to employ the same technique, and again, another significantly more enjoyable than usual date. Turns out that my own worries and over analyses were making my dates (especially blind dates) that much worse for me.

This is my new favorite first date technique: Just focus on them having a good time.

We've all probably gone on many dates that we were not excited to be on. What are your techniques to avoid them being a miserable experience?

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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Marigold said...

I have this running narrative in my head...sometimes I end up giggling for no reason because I can't hold it in, and then I have to figure out whether the guy is man enough to take the truth or if I need to fib a little...