Peeing in the Pool

10/07/2011 The Lady 10 Comments

No, figuratively, guys. Sheesh.

As in dating within the ward. I have plenty of friends who have their own policies – Christian doesn’t ask out girls in his ward; Brittany doesn’t go on dates with coworkers; Steven asks out classmates only at the end of the semester in case anything goes awry.

Most people in Provo acknowledge the plain fact – you will break up with every person you date except for one.

Of course, it’s obvious. But it’s still hard to consider. We all want to date people, to better know others, to discover what exactly we are looking for, but fear is omnipresent. Most of the time, the fear is of rejection, but in many other situations, the fear of the break-up is the worst.

I know countless people [I included] who have dated someone in their ward. The relationship eventually goes south, and life can easily become awkward for those involved. Sure, no one means it to be, but it turns that way. People like Christian avoid that altogether by simply not dating within the ward.

But that is, my friends, where a huge difficulty lies. You see, the people in your ward are the people you know best, interact with most, and check out most frequently [don’t deny it. She’s gorgeous, and he’s a Heath Ledger lookalike].

The pretty girl in my English class who sits next to me? I have no idea if she’s dating anyone, how old she is, anything. I only know her name, her major, and where she’s from. I've asked her her major three times already, and I don’t remember where she’s from. I just know that she’s beautiful and I’d like to ask her on a date.

We Facebook stalk people in our wards, browse the ward menu, and ask roommates about the people in whom we’re interested. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to do that with classmates. We spend so much time with coworkers in a professional environ so that it could be awkward to date on the side. And hardly anyone actually trusts blind dates. [Everyone has these stories.]

So, my Provo dating friends, we are left with a few conclusions:

1. Pee in the pool. Swallow your pride and date someone in your ward. Pray it doesn’t become awkward if it fails.

2. Socialize in ex-wards or in friends’ wards. Get to know their friends of the opposite sex, put yourself out there, and try. If things don’t work out, “Hey, whatever, I’m not in this ward anyway.”

3. Be bold and ask out that hunk/hunkess in your class. Don’t wait until the end of the semester “so things won’t be awkward in class.”

I’ll ask her out next week.

Pip pip,

Colonel Paisley

P.S. As a follow-up question, I pose to you ladies -- which you would prefer:

A. a guy in your class asks you on a date before knowing whether or not you are dating anyone
B. a guy asking if you are dating anyone and if no, then proceeding to ask you on a date

I try to ask questions that give a girl opportunities to mention that she's dating someone, but that doesn't always work. So I'm looking for tips. Or primarily, female opinions. Thanks!

10 comments:

jenerator said...

As a girl who is attracted to a guy in one of her classes, I would rather he ask me out, period. But to save awkwardness of "I'm engaged, but my ring is getting re-sized right now," it's probably best to ask if she's dating anyone.
As much as we'd like to think that guys pick up on our hints, we don't really pick up on your hints either. Just give it to her straight! Honesty, clarity, and straightforwardness is so refreshing.

October 7, 2011 at 4:56 PM

Taylor Ann said...

Amen. Ask her. Also, just ask the preliminary question of "what are you doing Friday night?" then she could either say "no plans yet" or "hanging out with my husband" Ask, ask, ask.

yadig?

October 7, 2011 at 4:58 PM

Anonymous said...

I agree with what Taylor said. If you just ask "what are your plans for the weekend?" and they are dating someone, odds are very good that they'll mention their significant other, then you can let it slide with a "cool" and nothing has to be terribly awkward...unless they're the type of girl who likes to rub it in everyone's faces that they have a boyfriend...but I'm sure if she was that type you'd know already =P

October 7, 2011 at 7:04 PM

say, "if you're not seriously dating anyone, you should let me take you out".

October 7, 2011 at 7:52 PM

Kelli said...

I've always thought it was kind of weird when guys ask, "Hey, are you dating anyone?" and then proceed to ask me out when I tell them no. (Although it's weirder when they ask if I'm dating someone and then don't do anything. ha.)

I love what Taylor said--ask her what she's doing this weekend. Girls can usually sort of sense when a guy is going to ask them out, so this gives us a good opportunity to mention the significant other.

October 8, 2011 at 12:04 PM

Asking a girl if she is dating anyone shows respect not only to her but to her possible bf/fiance and yourself. If she is, you protected yourself from a little embarrassment, if she isn't you have shown her that you think she looks like the person who has a bf which is a compliment to us miserable single girls :)

October 8, 2011 at 1:44 PM

I feel awkward when a guy asks if I am dating someone and then proceeds to ask me on a date... just giving my two cents. Then I feel like he's only talking to me because I am potential dating material rather than as a human being also. (Not that I mind being potential dating material... but I'd rather not be considered "meat on the market")

October 8, 2011 at 6:17 PM

Nicole said...

I would say go straight to the asking her out. Personally I would like that more. But asking if she has plans for the weekend is also a great idea. She will (well, should) get the hint of whats coming and can head you off if there is someone else or for some reason isn't interested. A single girl could feel dumb answering there is no boy even if she knows you are about to ask her out. Its Provo, we are supposed to always be dating or already married.

October 9, 2011 at 5:42 PM

Colonel Paisley, ASK HER OUT! I would kill for the many cute guys I sit by and chat with in each of my classes to ask me out. Should I be bold and ask one of them out? Even though I dont know if he/they is/are single?

October 11, 2011 at 12:41 AM