Update: Still in the Conflict Stage. No Resolution Yet.

10/11/2011 The Charmer 9 Comments

And here is the second post of the day. Forgive me.

The weekly update:

Piano Man: Is pretending to back down and respect my decision to date Masimo by agreeing to be "just friends." However, what he fails to realize is that when guys are "just friends" with you they don't invite you over to their house every day. They don't ask you to have dinner with them on Friday. They don't try and coerce you into jazz piano lessons every time you have a few spare minutes. And they don't offer to give you a ride to school every morning on the back of their scooter.

Mr. Director: Is surprisingly fun to be around. Despite my initial irritation at being asked out by him, I had a great time on our date. He was really easy to talk to and I was completely myself around him. I even told him the entire Piano Man/Masimo story. In fact, we threw out all the rules of first dates. We talked about our exes. We didn't waste time asking questions like "What's your favorite type of music?" or "What's your favorite movie?" We pretended we were from Alabama and listened to country music while driving through the "country." It was exceedingly refreshing. Oh, and I sort of invited myself over to his house for dinner on Sunday...and I had a really good time with him (again).

Masimo: Is completely clueless about the current drama that is my love life. I've been trying to find a chance to talk to him all week--last Monday when I really wanted him to help me sort this mess out he was practicing late with his dance partner. Tuesday I ended up staying out later with Mr. Director than I had planned, so I didn't really feel up to a DTR-type chat. Wednesday I actually did get to see him, but it was only for a half hour and we were at DI--I didn't feel like it was the best location to talk to him (I was hoping to do it afterwards but he had to dash off to dance). We had a date on Friday, so I decided that I was finally going to talk with him.
And...it still didn't happen. For some reason, I just couldn't bring it up. I was really hoping I'd get to spend the whole night with him, but he cut our date short after an hour because he "needed to do laundry." Really?! He dropped me off and said, "I'm going to be pretty busy these next couple weeks, so I don't know how often I'll be around, but I want to keep going on dates with you." Yeah, me too!
But what I really want to know is this: are we going to just keep going on dates or are we actually going to work towards a relationship? We've been going on dates for a year now. We're not getting anywhere by just going on dates.
He had a dance competition on Saturday, so he was gone during the day, but I hoped I'd be able to talk to him that night. Nope; he was "exhausted" and was just "hanging with his roommates." I decided Sunday for sure! But then I had dinner with Mr. Director...and afterwards...I just, um, didn't call Masimo up. And then yesterday came and went, too. Seriously, I'm going to talk to him. One of these days...
But the thing is...he hasn't been calling me up, either.

And, just to illustrate this confusing mess for all you visual learners...here is a diagram. (It's easier to read if you click on it)

The Charmer

PS- I WOULD use a picture of a Greek goddess for myself. Hahaha.

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Sarah said...

I showed my husband this post (and your diagram, which I rather enjoyed), and he says no guy that's into you does laundry instead of spending time with a girl he likes. But, this guy is a ballroom dancer, and as someone who knows quite a few ballroom dancers . . . well, when they're caught up in their dancing not much else matters (which is why they usually tend to date other dancers I think). Anywho, piano man sounds like he doesn't want to listen to you/respect your wishes, and mr. director sounds pretty cool. I, personally, would not go for Massimo. It's a lot of ups and downs with dancers (my brother married a girl on the BYU ballroom dance team, I got to hear all the drama). But, maybe make a pro con list...and then do whatever you want :)

Heidi said...

I have two suggestions:
1) you need to get up the courage to talk to Masimo, and then just do it. If you are having a hard time finding time, or "the right time" to talk to him, text him or call him to say you want to talk to him and set up a time to do it. That way, there are no excuses and you can finally sort out your situation with him.

2) Reevaluate the situation and how you feel. You say you chose Masimo, but now you're having second thoughts, obviously. You're also finding it very hard to talk to him, because he's busy, you're out with someone else, etc. It actually sounds to me like something is off there, and maybe Masimo might not work out for you. Also, you are still going on dates with other guys and enjoying yourself with them (i.e. Mr. Director).

I think it's possible you might be better off choosing someone else, if your intent is to choose someone. But you gotta make the effort and take the steps to get you to that choice, or it's never gonna happen.

Joel Herrey said...

Sorry to say, but as a guy reading this I could see the (for me) very big signs saying that Masimo isn't interested anymore. If one is really interested in a girl then it will not matter how exhausted or tired you are - you WILL find time to spend with the one you lke.

My 5 cents: Just leave him be. He might suspect you being onto him, but perhaps not having the same feelins for you, he backs off by trying to spend less time with you.

I dont know if talking to him will help exept for the fact that you can "empty" the heavy load of your chest, which indeed, can be nice from time to time..

Good luck!


Anonymous said...

I have to agree with everything said on here already, especially the last comment. But if I might add, it also doesn't seem like you're THAT into Massimo either...so maybe by dodging the subject you're both prolonging something that shouldn't be.

Anonymous said...

It seems Like you are natural SO comfortable with Mr. Director and I agree with the Massimo comments, he sounds like he is not willing to put effort into furthering the relationship. Go for Mr. Director!

Colonel Paisley said...

Piano Man is manipulative.
Masimo is noncommittal and not very interested.
Mr. Director is supportive, natural, friendly, vibrant, and apparently the one you are interested in.

To me, your course of action seems pretty clear. Good luck, m'dear!

Anonymous said...

umm... Go Cougars!

The Coquette said...

Just "Jimmer" those guys and let's go get some frozen yogurt.

The Coquette

P.S. Okay, so maybe for Mr. Director, his hair is the coolest in the diagram.

The Coquette said...

And when I say "maybe for" I really mean "maybe go for".