The [Splendid] Magic Date Ball
CRY ME A RIVER (credit to Justin Timberlake for such a splendid line). Here’s the fact: if you’re set on abiding in splendid Provo as a young and single adult, prepare for the inevitable:
1. Your Provo life should include dating- and lots of it, especially if you are a dude. I don’t care how equal the male and the female are/ become: if you are a male provite, you are automatically in the dating driving seat. Quit sitting in the driveway.
2. You will have to compete with the pressures of dating
3. Most of your dating experiences will not be the best experiences of your life.
Stop giving your friend kudos and instead consider his splendid swim-coaching single-dom in 25 years:
Here’s the FACT, dear readers: the dating game is a game of chance. Most of the time, you come away with a really awkward story (the beauty of this blog) and you realize you have the luxury of sharing said stories. It’s the silver lining to a really strange life game. The following dating surprises in the magic date ball have all happened to me in the past 6 months:
Sometimes all I want to do is to throw in the towel and go on a dating sabbatical for a couple of months. I’d love to pick up a splendid “book of philosophy” rather than watch my date pick his nose through a pixar dollar movie. But as tempting as that might sound to me, I straighten myself up and realize, “You know what Foreigner? This is the name of the game. You signed up for it, now suck it the hell up and deal with it.”
So Foxy- and readers- embrace the bad dates! Come to love them and learn from them (that’s what we’re promoting here). These are the experiences that will groom you to be a better, more interesting human being as well as an excellent spouse one day.
AND eventually, statistically, your magic date ball will read more like this:
Splendidly,
The Foreigner
PS Fox: you say "splendid" a lot
24 comments:
Hahaha! Welcome to the blog, foreigner! your so funny "its ok, i'm in a band!" hahaha! Keep posting please!
Yeah ok, thanks, Dating Nazi.
PS: This is probably one of the more bitter, immature, mean posts I've read from the Anti-Austen. Not impressed.
I completely agree! I love the idea of embracing the bad dates. I think I've learned more from my bad dates than my good ones. Yeah dating life can get us down, but in the end it's worth it.
I think you are so right! people need to lighten up and see that every date isn't a contract- just have fun and make the most of it! Also I am pretty sure I went out with the gollem too :( AND my roommate went on a date last week and he fell asleep. we just laughed about it. thanks for posting!
Thank you for the good (dare I say clever?) read Foreigner! Maybe your name should be "foxy foreigner".
Yeah, I agree with Sarah. How dare you have a strong opinion about this subject and how dare you disagree with "Fox's" pretentious whining about dating.
Shall we define bitter? -hard to bear; grievous; distressful: a bitter sorrow.
-causing pain; piercing; stinging: a bitter chill.
-characterized by intense antagonism or hostility: bitter hatred.
So, perhaps our dear Foreigner was a little critical of Sir Foxington, but she isn't bitter. He does seem to be whining quite a bit.
We all have had bad dates. Some of us have bad dating YEARS (yup, that's me!) Sometimes dates (even bad ones) are the best way to learn about yourself and and what you do and don't want. I love retelling my bad date stories and letting other people laugh about them. (Usually I do something to embarass myself though, sorry dates!)
We all know Provites endure a unique dating atmosphere but retreating from it on a sabatical isn't exactly the solution. Maybe feedback from your date isn't entirely accurate, but there may be some grain of truth in it as well.
Can you deny that you farted on someone or fell asleep if it actually happened? Can you deny that you made your date feel like crap, if something said was taken the wrong way? Not really, but you can learn to have better manners, rest up before dates, and learn to find better ways of communicating with the opposite sex.
This is nitpicking so disregard if you so choose, but I just feel strangely inclined to point out that you used the word "splendid" five times more than The Fox in his post. Minor details, I'm sure. Also, on another note, I read this blog because it is witty, light-hearted, and fun. And because, usually, I can relate to what the writers are experiencing. I don't want to read any critical or mean-spirited banter between authors. The Fox is entitled to his opinion just as much as you are to yours. Just sayin'.
Normally I don't comment on these things but I want you to know I really like your blog but I have to agree with some of the above comments. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be a mean post but it seemed to leave a sour taste. Not a fan.
Though I do agree with not being afraid to date, I got the impression that the Fox was talking about toning it down from an obsession and realizing there was more to life, not that he was anti-dating. (Though maybe that isn't what the Fox meant...just my interpretation.)
All in all, why are putting anyone down? Dating is definitely a unique experience for everyone and I believe there isn't one right attitude towards or way to handle it.
I just wanted to hear funny, encouraging, sympathetic, etc. dating stories that I could connect to. :)
i love you foreigner! it's refreshing to hear self-proclaimed "snobby bluntness"- i think you're just honest, and why not? most of us readers know this is just light hearted fun- I'm sure the Fox does too! Don't be discouraged!
I'm Kristina's roommate, she just showed me this blog today and I just have to say that anyone who quotes JT if a friend of mine! can't wait for more!
Oh my goodness, I love this! And perhaps the over-use of the word "splendid" was to convey a sense of sarcasm...hmmm...just a thought. Maybe we could all just get a sense of humor before we read this blog. Yet again, just a thought. Oh wait, I said "just a thought" too many times in this comment.
Sorry to be downer, and this is a total aside from the blog post itself, but I feel a need to address it (even at the cost of my comment being deleted as so many have been before mine). The use of "Dating Nazi" was in extremely poor taste. I cannot emphasize that enough. It is inappropriate to refer to any one as a Nazi if they are not one. If you have question as the why, I would recommend reading "The Holocaust" by Martin Gilbert. It's an informative book.
On a positive note, this blog is incredibly interesting and very enjoyable. I love the different perspectives. Keep it up!
Expression of feelings and ideas: the general idea of your blog or so I thought. I guess the Foreigner can say whatever she wants but when someone else expresses their thoughts and feelings they are promptly deleted. Contradiction in your own premise, good for you anti-Austens. I hope the contradictory lifestyle that you lead gets you somewhere but the fact that you have created and write on this blog day in and day out proves that it won't.
I vote Fox and Foreigner go on a date. Maybe both of their magic dating balls will say Perfection?
If you'd like an alternative to randomly approaching girls and trying to find out the right thing to say...
If you would rather have women chase YOU, instead of spending your nights prowling around in filthy bars and nightclubs...
Then I encourage you to view this short video to find out a strong little secret that has the potential to get you your own harem of attractive women just 24 hours from now:
FACEBOOK SEDUCTION SYSTEM!!!
Post a Comment