On Gentlemen Who Dance

9/13/2011 The Charmer 7 Comments

Darling readers,

I haven't been completely honest with you.

And, in lieu of the fantastic devotional offered by Elder Andersen today, I figured I should 'fess up.

So the real reason I'm not dating Masimo...my true hang-up with an otherwise ideal gentleman....is this:

He's a ballroom dancer.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why is that a problem, Charmer? Didn't you yourself SAY you wanted a man who could dance?"

Yes, yes I did say that. I would, in fact, like a man who can dance.

But I don't know if I can handle a man who spray-tans.

And I especially don't know if I can handle a relationship where my boyfriend has two other girlfriends--sure, a dance partner isn't quite the same thing as a girlfriend, but he recently "broke up" with one of his dance partners and from his story it sure sounded similar to breaking up with a significant other. There were tears, angry words, and stony silences.
(Sounds like a breakup to me.)

So there's that whole polygadating thing.
And we all know polygamy went out with the 90s. (1890s, that is)

I especially don't know how I feel about having a boyfriend who spends more time with another girl than with me. It's not like Masimo is just in Dance 280 or anything--he's a good dancer. And his new partner is a really good dancer. This means that they practice a lot. (And by practice, I mean they spend hours dancing seductive Latin dances with each other.)


I don't know.

I think I really like him. We have a date on Saturday and I can't wait. He's on my mind way more frequently than any of my other suitors.
I think I really want to see where this goes.

But could I really handle a relationship where I rarely see my man because he's off dancing with other girls?

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts/criticisms of my shallowness/experiences with dating Latin dancers...

The Charmer

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Lauren said...

wait until he's done dancing, THEN marry him! It's way better when he's not practicing all the time, but he can still sweep you off your feet!

Jori said...

Oh my word. I think I know who Massimo is haha. I don't want to say names, but I would love to figure out if it's who I think it is lol.

Jori said...

By the way, I take ballroom classes, and let me tell you something. It's true that dance partners have an intimate connection; you have to in order to be good and what you're doing. But often times, and I think this includes you here, people think of it as something it's not. Yes, he's being intimate with another girl, but you've got to think of ballroom dancing like acting: you have to put on a show to be great. I know it can be hard to see him being so flirty with another girl or two (especially with the Latin dances), but you've just got to remember that he's putting on a show. And if you want to be in this for the long term, he most likely won't be doing professional ballroom out of college, so just go with it for the next little while, yeah? Ballroom boys are some of the greatest guys out there, and I think if you stop yourself from dating him just because of his practicing with other ladies (no matter how extensive), you'll be missing out.

Anonymous said...


Great job addressing what many believe to be the biggest hurdle in dating a ballroom dancer. I say this as someone who once faced that hurdle and never quite got used to it.

The Charmer said...

Thanks for your input, Jori! I am actually quite thrilled that you wrote in. You've put a different spin on the issue--I love that you compared ballroom to acting--and you've made me consider things in a bit of a different light. If, in fact, Masimo and I DO end up together, I think you're allowed to give yourself a little pat on the back because you may have helped the process out. ;)
Oh, and if you do figure out who Masimo is...which wouldn't surprise me, as I'm not as sneaky about my details as I probably should be...all I ask is that you don't let him know that he is a regular occurrence on an anonymous dating blog. Thank you :)

John Romney said...

Can This clown. Thats just my thought.

David C said...

Ballroom dance partnerships work together really closely--so closely that sometimes it does seem like they are dating. And their breakups can be as intense as relationship breakups, just as you supposed.

Most of the time, however, there is little romantic connection. As Jori pointed out, it's all an act. They play the seductive, Latin dance roles in order to perform well, but there's often not much to it off the dance floor.

I'm a ballroom dancer myself, and Latin dance can look pretty scandalous sometimes, but go for Masimo. : )