The post where Featherstone McGee gets a little bit blasphemous...

12/09/2011 The Anti-Austen 25 Comments

Dear Readers,

God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. Now, before you assemble a lynch mob and have me tried for blasphemy, let me say that I make that statement with the utmost respect. Let me also say that I have a habit of using the word sneaky for a variety of things. In this case the meaning I wish to convey is clever. After all, God works in mysterious ways.

Now, at this point I’m guessing that some of you are saying to yourselves Featherstone, what in the world does this have to do with dating? Well, let me tell you.

By now you’ve probably learned that dating at BYU (and within the Mormon culture) is different. It’s unique. I’m guessing that many of you grew up in the same dating culture that I did, or at the very least one that was quite similar. Dates as we know them did not exist or were very rare. The common practice was as follows:

1. We start off with a large group of friends who hang out together quite frequently. Within this group there are many individuals. One is named Jack. Another is named Jill.

2. After getting to know everybody, Jack and Jill begin to realize that they have a slightly elevated interest in one another relative to their interest in the other members of the group. This begins the strange phenomenon known as feelings.

3. Upon contemplation of this interest Jack and Jill begin to spend more time together and feelings develop further.

4. Jack and Jill begin dating (which in this context is defined as the act of being in a romantic relationship) despite having only gone on few, if any, dates.

Does this sound familiar to you? A friend of mine from work grew up in the same dating environment in a completely different state. So I know I’m not the only one. There are at least two of us.

Now here we are at BYU. The dating scene is quite different. Dates are still dates, but dating has taken on two meanings, specifically 1) the act of going on several dates and 2) the act of being in a romantic relationship. Dates and the first meaning of dating play a significantly more important role in the overall process as the dating pool expands to, well, pretty much anybody without a ring on their finger. More options, more possibilities, with people you DON’T EVEN KNOW! It’s enough to make your head spin.

Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. Indeed, the pressures of dating can be difficult and can indeed cause us to crack. I’m sure that, at one point or another, most of you out there have felt the pressures weigh on you in the form of doubt, despair, hopelessness, sadness, frustration, or some other sad, negative emotion that can come as the result of an unsuccessful dating life. I know that I have. Such was the state I was in when I first discovered this blog.

Now let us shift gears as I begin to relate everything I have said back to the first paragraph (just in case you were wondering when/if that would even happen). I hate cats (no judging). Yet it was a video of a woman blubbering on about cats that brought me to the Anti-Austen. Why did I click the link found on Overheard @ BYU? I don’t know. I just did. Many of the actions that I have performed at the subtle inspiration of the Spirit have been things I have just done that I normally wouldn’t do. Before I knew it, I was writing on the Anti-Austen. A broken boy with too little experience and too much insight writing on a dating blog. Seriously?

As you likely know, a challenge was issued by the Charmer, a contest was held, and a date was procured. The Charmer has admitted in a previous post that her November challenge was indeed inspired. The rest of the details of this story are very personal to me – I hold them very dear to my heart and they are mine to keep. I will tell you that this broken boy is healing quite nicely.

Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. If you’ve ever seen one of these cracked marbles, you would also know that the cracks inside add a unique character to each and every one of them. Thus, each one is special. God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. The challenges in our lives shape who we are as individuals and the solutions that help us overcome them are often not what we expect. Never would I have guessed that I could find what I have been searching for through a dating blog.

My dear readers, this message is for those of you who currently face challenges in dating. This message is for those of you whose hopes are dashed. This message is for those of you who find yourselves in need of brighter days. There is indeed hope out there and it will likely come in ways that you don’t expect, even in ways that you have yet to consider. Brighter days are in your future, so keep careful watch for them. I urge you to keep your eyes, your mind, and your heart open, because God may introduce them to you in the cleverest of ways – after all, He is a sneaky, sneaky fellow.

~Featherstone McGee

You Might Also Like


Haley Dennis said...
"You sneaky mom!"

Haha this post reminded me of this :)

Dear Featherstone,

Can I keep you?

The Chosen One.

Elisabeth said...

Thanks. That was just what I needed to hear today. Glad you did end up following the link and writing here!

Dear The Chosen One,


Featherstone McGee

Anonymous said...

Just like the Charmer's challenge, your last paragraph was inspired. Thanks so much for the reminder.

The Coquette said...

Dear Featherstone and Miss Chosen,
You two make me sick. Just kidding. I actually think you guys are great, but the problem is that it's sickening because [I admit it] I'm jealous.

Rainbows and Flowers!
The Coquette

Dear Coquette,

If there is ONE thing I've learned today, it's that God is always mindful of you and your desires. He will, in his timeline, give you what you need, and peace until you receive those blessings.

Appropriately grateful and humble,
The Chosen One

Anonymous said...

Not to be BYU cliche here, but it's clear that the two of you are at least dating, and being the nosy person I am I have to ask. Some of the language used in the above post and in the comments is language I've heard used by engaged couples. So are you two dating or engaged?

Jaclyn said...

I just love that she chose the moniker "The Chosen One." Talk about prophetic!

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know what to tell you exactly, but we just listened to music together for the very first time tonight. Big step!


The Chosen One and Featherstone McGee

Anonymous said...

Soon to be The Chosen One McGee! ;) I wish you both the very best.

When's the contest for a date with Colonel Paisley? I love him. I mean, I want to be his friend! But I do love him. In, you know, a friend sort of way that's noncreepy and also completely platonic of course, but... who am I kidding. Colonel Paisley rocks and if he's willing to do the challenge, I think you'd see a great response (again) for it. Who's with me? Colonel? Coquette? (Why haven't you two hooked up, I'd like to know?)

Dear Anonymous #2,

And we made some new friends tonight, too. A nice couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Honker. :)

Sincerely yours in an entirely platonic way,

Featherstone McGee

Mirage said...

OMG Feathergee. I am so ridiculously happy that I'm not the only one who met a keeper through a blog. I love you guys. I would say that, like the Coquette, you make me sick, but you don't. I'm thrilled. It's great to be in like...

Oh jeepers, anony, I'm flattered. I'd be down for a competition. Let's see if Coquette or Charmer want to organize it. I'll find an occasion in early January, and we can get this show on the road.

Winner gets to give Paisley his New Year's Eve kiss!*

*I'm an advocate of moving slow, but I just couldn't help it!

Grace Miller said...

Maybe you weren't serious, Featherstone, but I'm in favor of the New Year's Kiss! And I'm sure I'm not the only one! Jeepers, it's just so romantic. What better way to start off the New Year than with the Colonel, right? Allons-y!

I just think kissing someone I've never ever met would be weird. What if they're creepy? What if they don't kiss well? Why would you ever get that close to an almost perfect stranger?

Maybe I'm just a bit of a realist here....but...haha...I suppose it's whatever the Colonel goes for...

I suppose it's whatever the Colonel goes for...

This is completely off topic, but I'm craving KFC right now because of this.

Anony said...

Bahahaaa Featherstone! I'm down with KFC!!

I doubt the Colonel would kiss a girl on the first date. Still, I think a New Year's Hand Kiss from the Colonel would be awesome. :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Featherstone,

I know I'm completely going off the topic that you guys have diverged into, but I have this to say to you:

This post literally brought me to tears. To tears! I've been reading on here for a few weeks, and truth be told I was introduced to this blog because of the contest that was given. I'm sure I don't fit the profile of a typical reader here. But, I loved reading something so beautiful that was written about someone that I love so much! Take care of her. Be good to her. She is worth more than diamonds, and is precious to those who love her beyond measure. Be careful with her heart; it is fragile also.

Also, I have to say, it has been many years since I was in the 'dating pool,' but my story of found love is one of sadness and despair and hopelessness turned into an amazing blessing of joy and happiness. It didn't come at a time I expected it to, and I had to learn to humbly bend my will to His. But I found that His will for me was exactly what I needed, and exactly when I needed it! Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and He knows what we need, but most importantly, when we need it.

Dear Anonymous reader who loves the very same girl that I absolutely adore,

Thank you for taking us off the trivial topics of New Year’s Eve kisses and Kentucky Fried Chicken and back to a topic that holds a very special place in my heart.

There are so many things that I want to share with you – things that bring a smile to my face and a happiness to my heart. Things that The Chosen One and I have chosen to keep close rather than post publicly because they are special to us. Maybe they have already been shared with you, I do not know for certain. Since this comment is public, I will have to make due with saying that your words ring so very true to me and are in harmony with my own feelings for her as well. Diamonds could scatter the floor and I would still be holding her hand. Why waste a second picking up a silly little rock when the real gem is right there by your side? I will do as you have asked and it will be my honor to do so.

You’ve added another beautiful testament to the message of this post – that God knows what we need and when we need it. He is the one with the master plan, so I say let Him guide. And might I add, his plans for the night I met The Chosen One were much better than the ones I had originally planned. Most likely I would have stayed home and watched a movie alone. This…this was infinitely better.


Oh my goodness :)

Anonymous said...

Featherstone, you are an inspiration! Your most recent comment brought tears to my eyes, and I think it's safe to say that this post has inspired renewed hope in many of our hearts. You're not the only one whose life this blog has revolutionized!

Before encountering your writing, and that of your esteemed colleagues, I'd had more failed relationships in three months than I'd experienced in my entire life up until that point. But you reminded me that, if I'm willing to wait, the right person will come along, and at the right time. I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not unto my own understanding.

I don't want to say that I've found The Man, as it hasn't been very long, but things are finally working out. And it's not because I upped the ante on my search for love! Rather, the moment I decided to embrace my independence and found that I WAS strong enough to stand on my own two feet, he arrived.

And I have you and your fellows to thank for it. So, with all my heart, thank you. The Chosen One is a lucky girl, indeed, and a true gem!

Dear Latest Anonymous,

Thank you for sharing this with me...with us. I am honestly thrilled to hear that you're having success again. The best way to ensure success is to follow the subtle influences of the Spirit and do what feels right. Slow and know the story. Enjoy the little moments along the way. I wish you the absolute best along the way.

I'm always flattered when I hear people say that The Chosen One is a lucky girl. Let's not forget that I'm a lucky guy. Very lucky. She may have been chosen, but every time I'm with her (okay, even when I'm NOT with her) I feel like I'm the one that won that contest.

Luckily hers,

jenerator said...