Ready to make amends.

9/21/2012 The Lady 7 Comments

I am beginning to believe that I am being punished for not being enthusiastically and actively engaged in the dating scene, or even the socializing scene for that matter. Aphrodite and Eros are waging war against me. I suppose until I begin try in earnest, I will only have a plague as a dating life. Before was the famine, now it is the locusts. (Too strong of a metaphor?)

But I do believe I have a good reason to keep myself inside: to protect myself and to protect others. You see, the less I socialize the less likely I will be to attract the sort who seem to find me fascinating and whom I find quite . . . unappealing. And also, the less I socialize the less likely I will be to become contaminated with the symptoms of like. It's a messy process I sometimes need to steer clear from.

I have another date with The Preacher tonight. I just do not know how to say no. It's a major problem in my life. I am led to believe that one of the main reasons anything happened between myself and Mr. Tennis and myself and Mr. Slipshod is mainly because I know not how to refuse a man. For example: I started dating Dex because I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't interested in him. It worked out well, but lightning does not strike twice (or so I've been told). One of the only times I have ever told a man "No," I was afraid that he might do himself some harm (he admitted to suffering from severe depression while on our first date). I still feel like a bit of a heartless guttersnipe because of it.

And here is The Preacher. Such a nice guy! A friend! But he deserves someone who actually appreciates his attention, and he deserves someone much kinder than myself. But how do I tell him so? I know he deserves to be told, but how does one bring that up? Oh, woe is me! I just might find myself married before the end of the semester simply because I cannot master one little word: "No."

Perhaps if I memorize this poem by Christina Rossetti:

I never said I loved you, John:
Why will you tease me day by day,
And wax a weariness to think upon
With always "do" and "pray"?

You Know I never loved you, John;
No fault of mine made me your toast:
Why will you haunt me with a face as wan
As shows an hour-old ghost?

I dare say Meg or Moll would take
Pity upon you, if you'd ask:
And pray don't remain single for my sake
Who can't perform the task.

I have no heart?-Perhaps I have not;
But then you're mad to take offence
That don't give you what I have not got:
Use your common sense.

Let bygones be bygones:
Don't call me false, who owed not to be true:
I'd rather answer "No" to fifty Johns
Than answer "Yes" to you.

Let's mar our plesant days no more,
Song-birds of passage, days of youth:
Catch at today, forget the days before:
I'll wink at your untruth.

Let us strike hands as hearty friends;
No more, no less; and friendship's good:
Only don't keep in veiw ulterior ends, And points not understood

In open treaty. Rise above
Quibbles and shuffling off and on:
Here's friendship for you if you like; but love,-
No, thank you, John.

Oh, heaven help me.

Con Amor,
The Lady

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Kara_V said...

this poem speaks to my soul.

Anonymous said...

My neighbor was struck by lightning. Twice. And one of those times, she was inside. There's hope for you yet, Lady! ;)

Anonymous said...

Preacher: Lady, are you busy this weekend?
Lady: On Friday I have a game of cricket.
Preacher: Well then, Lady, can I escort you on a date Saturday evening?
Lady: I always enjoy your company Preacher, and I would be more than happy to spend any amount of time with you as your friend.
Preacher: *sad...gets over it...asks out a different girl*

You're making it harder for yourself than it needs to be. And, yes, you are being cruel by continuing to say yes to dates with him. A lady should be kind, courteous, proper, and mannerly, but never cruel.

Anonymous said...

The more your practice saying no, the easier it gets. You gotta start somewhere sometime! You can do it!

Anonymous said...

Statistically speaking people who are struck by lighting once are more likely to get hit a second time than others have of being struck a first time.
As a guy I would have to agree that it is more cruel for you to keep saying yes than it is for you to say no. I have been on the other end enough to understand. You can be blunt but kind about it. No need to beat around the bush. Be honest and all will work out for the better.
Also, get out there and be actively searching/dating. You are so much more likely to attract a guy you don't like by sitting on your bum and doing nothing because the guys you want will take work to find. The guys girls tend to like lessused usually much more likely to go for a girl with less confidence in herself than a girl full of confidence. Be confident and proactive. If you like a guy, ask him out. There is a great video made by byu students where they asked a bunch of guys and girls if girls could ask guys out and almost all the guys said yes and the girls said no. Be confident and you will succeed. Invite him for dinner at your place or to make dessert with you or out to do something. I suggested the first two because they are simple and are easier to do. I have been hurt enough now to not want to get emotionally invested in the idea of going out with a girl until I know she returns some interest too. Just remember to relax an have fun.

Anonymous said...

I think it is time to clear out your closet and go "jacket" shopping. Remember you have to clear out the old so you can make room for the new. I don't mean window shopping. Go out and try on a large selection of new ones. Try a different store or mall. Take some friends shopping with you. Have fun and don't over think it. If it is a fit it will feel comfortable and natural.
Mr. Bennett

Anonymous said...

I've never been enthusiastically or actively engaged in the dating scene so I guess my curse is combination famine/guys I want to ask me out never do. :/

but in your case, probably shouldn't lead him on anymore. He will find someone that loves the attention.