What are the symptoms of like?

2/27/2012 The Blue Stocking 6 Comments

So you’re probably thinking after last week’s post about the exciting date that I would have more exciting news like “Bingley asked me out again!” or “Bingley told me he liked me!” or even “Bingley and I went ring shopping!” {hey, it’s BYU it could happen}.

Those would all be real swell wouldn’t they?

But alas, none of that has come to pass. Alas, I have entered into a great state of confusion. And alas, you are all going to help me figure this out.

See, just because those above phrases were never uttered, doesn’t mean we are done. Nope, it just means I get to stand around dazed and confused.Here’s what did happen last week; three parties filled with hormones, confusion, and food.

Thursday night: party number one. I went to a party and Bingley was there. I tried to play it cool, give him his space and whatnot. Then the night became a giant swing dance {not literally of course}, we would find each other and talk, then people would pull us apart to talk to them, then we would swing around and chat some more, and then we would be pulled apart. And it went on and on, swinging to and fro.

I have to say I didn’t really like it all that much, it was dizzying and annoying. And I’m starting to feel silly that we are continuing in this weird fashion of talking at all social gatherings. It’s loud, we keep getting interrupted, and for heaven sakes we’re adults, we should be able to go out and talk alone. The thought did cross my mind that maybe he didn’t want to spend alone time with me…but then why is he always seeking me out?

Example: as I was sneaking out of the party early, he caught me and told me I just had to stay till the end.

Friday night: Party number two. This party was a dance party at a mutual friend’s house. Bingley doesn’t like to dance at all, and yet he stayed and we talked. It was really fun and we spent a little more time together at this party. Plus standing in the dark with him while we teased each other became a high-light of the week for me. When the party started feeling a little long, my roommates and I left to have a game night with a couple of friends at my place. One of my roommates invited Bingley over, and he came, and we had a great time.

Saturday night: Party number three. This was a waffle party at my house. Bingley came and yet again we were with each other playing games and having fun. Towards the end of it, Bingley wanted to go to the dollar theatre with his friends to catch a flick. He insisted that I come with my friends. And so I did.

That was my weekend. Are you confused?

Here’s the strangest part, I keep feeling like I should be reacting different to all of this. Let me explain. Before when I liked a guy I couldn’t sleep because I would lie in bed thinking about him, I wouldn’t eat because the butterflies in my stomach would choke out my hunger, and I wouldn’t cease in my efforts to accidentally bump into him. But now I’m sleeping, eating, and if I see him I see him.

I’m freakishly calm about all of this and it’s unnerving. I just feel like if it happens it happens, but if not, I need to make the best of it….or it means I don’t like him all that much. Oh heavens, I just don’t know.

Do I need to be an anorexic insomniac in order to like someone?

-The Blue Stocking

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Brittany said...

No, I don't think you do. I started dating a boy this summer, and like you I was confused at first because I wasn't feeling all that "can't eat, can't sleep, butterflies all the time" as much as I had with past crushes. But over time, I realized that I really loved him a lot, and I guess it was just a different, more mature kind of love (maybe? I'm not really sure what it was), and I didn't need all the symptoms of like that we read about in books and see in movies.

And it worked out in the end, because I realized that I was more and more in love with him all the time, and now we're getting married this spring. Obviously my situation could be different from yours, but I would just say don't discount it because all the butterflies and stuff aren't there yet. Give it a chance to go somewhere. If it doesn't work out in the end, at least you'll know it wasn't because you didn't give it a fair chance.

Katri Hakes said...

I don't eat or sleep as a normal college student so it's not a good indicator for me :)

Anonymous said...

Of course not! The boyfriend I have right now- both of us realize we are not acting crazy about each other like we've done with other people. We can sleep, we're not CONSTANTLY stalking each other, but we do love to see each other and there's lots of things I admire about him. I think you just like Bingley in a different way, maybe even more mature? Sometimes I think all the crazy butterflies and being nervous stuff... that's with obsession and lust, ya know? Maybe Bingley has the potential to be the real thing! And he DEFINITELY likes you. Give it some time!

Eleanor Dashwood said...

Maybe you're not freaking out because it just feels right. Or maybe- and this is my favorite reason- you are happy with who you are, you don't need a man to complete you (so you aren't pining) and you have faith that whatever is best will happen, so you're not freaking out.


"you are happy with who you are, you don't need a man to complete you (so you aren't pining) and you have faith that whatever is best will happen, so you're not freaking out."

That is also my favorite reason :) Thank you

-The Blue Stocking

Jason Nordin said...

Hm... It's interesting to see what's going through a girl's head. You really wonder whether you like us or not? Because that's what we're (I'm) wondering too.

For me, I just get frustrated and figure that if there's a question, then I probably do. Do I want to date them? Yes, so I like them. The real questions come when I start wondering whether I should ask them out, 'do I have a CHANCE?', etc.

Which are all silly questions, because if she's as awesome as I think she is, then the answer is of course YES.

Um... anyway. Awesome. I'm loving this site so far.