I Opened the Flood Gates

2/22/2012 The Closer 1 Comments

Is it just me or is there no way to think about dating "a little bit"? I have had several periods of time in recent years where I make a conscious decision that I am not going to think about dating, and I'm able to sort of shut off that sector of my brain. Sensible decision making and peace of mind usually follow closely afterwards. Inevitably, I shortly decide that it is important for me to do my part in making dating happen, so I crack open the door to that section of my brain. Turns out, this is not a door that can merely be "cracked" open. There can only be two statuses of the door to the dating sector of my mind: sealed shut or flood gates open.

I am currently in the latter status. Just yesterday I got called boy crazy by a married coworker. I wanted to refute his claim, but upon reviewing the status of my brain, I had to concede that he was indeed correct.

I have slowly been creeping back up to that breaking point where I decide that I just can't take it anymore and need to shut that sector down. I am trying reallllly hard not to do that. Thinking about all of that caused me to come to a realization. Ready for this? It's pretty deep.

Single people love to talk about dating, and married people love to talk to single people about dating, in fact, I think just about everyone I talk to wants to talk about dating. And you know, that's fine, I won't complain about it. I'm practically an expert at talking about dating now, I think I have my 10,000 hours in. Where the problem arises is when I need to have conversation with a guy I like, and all of my best conversational material is about dating, and that's about the one situation that it is not acceptable in. Uh oh.

That being said, I have resolved to work on filling up my head with all kinds of other interesting and insightful and intelligent things to talk about. Can you say two birds with one stone? If I am successful, there is just no way that there will be room in my head for floods of thoughts about boys.

All this talk about not thinking about boys has me thinking about boys. So while we're on the subject... Mr. Perfect came up to me at institute, I didn't even have time to decide whether or not to talk to him first (win!). Happy McSmiles and I finally got to work together again and it was a lovely good time, followed by a Facebook friend request and all kinds of minimally exciting things like that. And lastly, turns out Captain Incredible is perfect for my roommate. Yeah, roommate, there was canoodling involved, and I am 98.4% okay with it, so that's big. Woo!

I may need to join The Lady soon with my own frenzy of five. That is, if my flooded little brain can take it!

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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Katrina said...

I completely agree with you about the flood gates! Sometimes, it feels like they just get stuck in the fully open position, especially at the most inopportune times.

I guess I've learned how to perform a controlled release of the gates by thinking more about the end result and less about the here and now. I think that when I have the end goal (marriage and a family) in the forefront of my mind, it's easier to not stress about the little in-between things (dating, or lack thereof).

Good luck! I hope you can find your happy medium soon!