Finding Success by Changing Your Definition

2/15/2012 The Closer 6 Comments

The last time I posted I felt defeated and frustrated...

Well- can't hold me down! I have spent this week feeling totally empowered and self assured. Running into Mr. Perfect made me realize that if I am ever going to run into him again, I need to learn how to function like a normal person around him. It also made me realize that as much as I maybe wish there weren't, there are still some definite feelings of interest there, and I would be willing to keep that door open.

Those two realizations made me decide that I am going to be brave, but careful not to be hopeful about the wrong things. All of my most painful experiences with guys have seemed to come from my own self imposed expectations that didn't get fulfilled. That being said, I'm setting my expectations low, because success is motivating for me. Now enter my plan of action:

Step 1: Invite him to something as a friend. I invited Mr. Perfect over for a dessert night. I had never done that before, but figured it wouldn't be too odd because I had just run into him. I also invited about every person in my contact list so that he wouldn't think I did it just for him. And guess what? He came! We chatted for a few minutes, I made a point to look glad and excited that he'd come, but excused myself from the conversation soon enough to (hopefully) leave him wanting more and not seem clingy. He knew some of my friends and mingled with them while I greeted other guests that came, all the while looking social and cool and friendly. Success!

Step 2: Be brave at institute. He's in my stake now! I knew I would see him at institute and wanted to continue to be confident and smooth and friendly around him. I saw him after class and went up to say hello (I interrupted him talking to another girl, but hey, who wouldn't be stoked that I was cutting in? ha-ha). He gave me a hug and we chatted and bantered a bit, and he told me that he reads my blog (my non-anonymous one) so that was cool. Then I again excused myself after a few minutes and as I was leaving he told me to invite him the next time I have a get together. Success!

Step 3: This has yet to be determined. I'll be seeing him at institute again shortly, do I go up and say hi again? Let him come to me? Only say hi if I bump into him?

The mind of a woman is exhausting sometimes, isn't it?

There have also been some other fun and exciting things unfolding with Happy McSmiles and Captain Incredible. Who's Captain Incredible you ask? Only a man who could run up a mountain with me on his shoulders and maybe not even break a sweat. Oh, and a super good person, and he took me on a date last week, and this weekend I'm going on a trip he's organizing with a big group to go hiking and camping. No big deal.

I hope you don't die of anticipation in the meantime!

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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Anonymous said...

Definitely wait for him to come up and talk to you at institute! It's like the unofficial test if he's interested or not. Leave the ball in his court and let him make a move!

Anonymous said...

But what if he wants to see if you are interested so he plays the same game as you. Now nobody is talking. :( . Ahhhh.

Anonymous said...

Communication is key. Now you're just talking about playing games and games complicate things.

Good for you! Just because the ball is in his court now doesn't mean you can't still show interest. Good luck!

Juichi said...

I agree with Provo Princess & the third anonymous. Your steps 1 & 2 are perfect. As for step 3, you're welcome to let him come to you ON THE CONDITION that you continue to show interest when you see him. Ignoring him because "the ball is in his court" is very cruel to us, and we men loathe the practice. (We don't get into as much detail as you ladies do when discussing the opposite sex, but if we notice you playing games, we will warn our friends.) Other than that, Mr. Perfect sounds like he could be a lucky winner.

Anonymous said...

Yes my darling, the mind of a woman can sometimes be very exhausting...

Yours Truly,

Mr. Manager.