Riding the Roller Coaster of Romance

4/05/2012 The Closer 3 Comments

Finding a happy medium between girlish excitement and staying grounded in realistic expectations is a challenging thing to do. When I like a guy I get downright giddy with excitement, and I have to admit, it's one of my favorite feelings. It is a constant battle to keep reminding myself to have realistic expectations, although I think I am getting better. You may have noticed that I seem to have boy ADD (*ahem* yes you, anonymous commenter)... well, I'd like to think that this is a good thing (like you other lovely commenters who defended me) and I'll tell you why. (I promise this is not me being passive aggressive, but it did cause me to do some personal reflection.)

1. My excitement about various guys is an indicator of hope, and trying to date without hope is just depressing. I've seen enough friends get let down time and time again only to suddenly meet an incredible companion, to have plenty of hope and to let that hope get me excited.

2. As much as I may get excited, I work hard not to let myself get too excited too soon. I am pretty good at letting go when I start to see that it's just not going anywhere. It's not crushing, or debilitating, it's just... a bummer. I can live with bummers.

What these two things translate into is a what looks like a roller-coaster ride, where each up and down is a different boy. I guess it's either that or sitting in a roller-coaster car that isn't moving. I have said before that dating is a numbers game, and I still believe that. I would be happy to keep my excitement and attention honed in on one guy, but then you would just get posts every week about how Mr. So-And-So still hasn't asked me out, and who wants to read about that?

I guess maybe someone might, but I'd rather not write about it.

I will say that sometimes after the roller-coaster goes up and then back down again, it will coast along for a while and slowly start to creep back up...

Like what happened this week with Happy McSmiles.

Last week I was frustrated at misreading signals, and I have now decided that this was not my fault. I am being sent the wrong signals, somewhere at least. I had resigned myself to the fact that Happy McSmiles wasn't interested because he essentially told me that I am too tall for him to date. I've still been just as friendly to him and when I saw him last week I invited him to a brunch I was holding between conference sessions on Sunday. He asked me to write down the info, so I gave him a slip of paper with my address and phone number on it, and he said he was planning on coming. Then I got a text Saturday night (part of me thinks putting the exact conversation here is risky, but I'm going to bank on him not regularly reading this blog):

Him: "Hey this is Happy from Place! I was reviewing this note that I got from you and saw that it had your phone number. :) I thought I would text you to make sure my plan for tomorrow was ok with you. May I come watch the first session with you? I will probably leave before pancakes because some friends in the ward got tickets to the afternoon session. Is that ok?"

Me: "Hey Happy! That would be just fine, there should be a few people coming, and may even be some food ready too :)."

Him: "Sweet I am excited. If you want I could come over early to help cook..."

Me: "Actually that'd be great, want to come over half an hour early?"

Him: "Sure! I will see you at 9:30. :)"

Me: "Perfect, see you then!"

Do you see now why I was confused? I pow-wowed with my roommates and we decided that if he is indeed not interested, he is sending the wrong signals.

He came to help cook, and then sat by me during the morning session and we bantered a bit (whilst still being as reverent as possible...), then he sent me a thank you text an hour or so after he left for letting him come eat and enjoy conference.

So now his roller coaster is creeping back up... but just a little bit this time.

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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Summer said...

I think I have boy ADD too. And I agree with you, I don't think it's generally a bad idea. I've tried the focus-on-one-guy strategy, and it really didn't work for me. Happy is definitely sending you mixed signals! Just from your Conference interactions, I would conclude he's definitely interested, but his earlier statements seem to contradict that. I would say don't write him off completely, just keep being friendly/flirty and see if he decides to ask you on a date. If not, no harm done!

Sarah said...

I think he is almost as confused as you are. To me it sounds like he likes you and is interested but has this preconceived notion that he can't date a taller girl. Give him a little time to make up his mind.

Juichi said...

I totally agree with Sarah, but I doubt it's just a height issue. I wonder if he's genuinely thought about things enough to make a decision about whether he likes you.