A mind lively and at ease.

1/26/2012 The Lady 8 Comments

It is time my friends. It is time for me to relate to you the best thing that has ever happened to me since reading my first Jane Austen novel at age twelve (Sense and Sensibility was my first, and it really was that good).

After many years of torturing hemming and hawing, Mr. Cowboy is getting married. And he is not marrying me.

Mr. Cowboy has been home from his mission for a mere three weeks. By the end of week one, he was engaged. (This is no exaggeration, nor a ploy to protect identities). The illogical speed of the engagement shocked me. But now that the initial impact has passed, all I can feel is pure giddy excitement. If you see a girl with brown curly hair literally bobbing about campus, that is me.

It is true that at first I was quite upset. I was listening to "Someone Like You" at least twenty times a day. I was consuming copious amounts of pretzel M&M's and the like. Luckily this pathetic state only lasted a couple of days before I came to my senses. The exact events of those few days are much too complicated and lengthy to relate here. (However, if you ever see me on campus, feel free to ask me). The wonderful realizations that I have finally come to (with an inordinate amount of help from my father) are these:

1. I deserve to marry someone who is crazy about me. Who really just doesn't want to live without me.
2. I do not want to be with someone who holds my faults and mistakes over my head and uses them to make me feel guilty or to manipulate me.
3. I want a man who is ambitious with his education and career.
4. I want a man who I can trust to be solid in loyalty, honesty, and righteousness.
5. I want a man who will hold me in high esteem and never ridicule me in public (or in private).
6. I deserve to be in love.

Thankfully I have a wise father, who often knows me better than I know myself. Because of my father reminding of these things and pointing out how poorly I had been treated by this "tool in gentleman's clothing", I was miraculously liberated from such degrading feelings which have been plaguing me for several years. So when Mr. Cowboy called me to "officially" tell me the news of his engagement (which I had naturally already heard about) this is what I said to him:

"Mr. Cowboy, I am honestly so grateful that you are getting married. I have never been so happy in my whole life. I am finally free. I am free from anticipation, from expectation, from gossip, and from guilt. We are finally free from each other. I just can't even explain how happy I am."

That is what I told him. That, plus some. I laid it on him thick for at least ten minutes. He hardly got a word in. I was laughing. It sounded like he might be crying. Whimpering at least. And I couldn't even feel bad for him. He tried to thank me for all that I had done for him, and I just brushed it aside. He told me that we could could still be friends and that if I needed anything, I could call at any time. I told him blatantly, that we could no longer be friends, and I assured him that he would never hear from me again. I didn't need him in my life anymore, and he didn't need me.


On my way home, after I had hung up the phone, and jumped around for a few mad seconds, "Someone Like You" came on my iPod. And I laughed. It wasn't a sad song any longer. I felt just like Kate Winslet at the end of The Holiday. I have finally discovered gumption and I can exclaim, "I am miraculously done being in love with you!"

Gumption. Gumption. Gumption.
Love. Love. Love.

The Coquette is Free!

Perhaps I will change my name on this blog now because it is finally all over. I am officially reformed.

Con Amor,
The Coquette (er...some anonymous very happy young woman)

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rach said...

I sincerely like you, Coquette. I'm so very glad that you're moved on and free! It's a wonderful feeling. Maybe now, when you're least expecting it, your Colonel Brandon will come sweep you off your feet, and you'll never look back.

Haha. If only, right?

Best wishes and much happiness!

Juichi said...

I must admit, my first reaction was definitely sympathy for poor Mr. Cowboy, especially at the end. Then I remembered how he punched his windshield in. I'm very glad you're free. Best wishes in the search for your Col. Brandon!

Anony said...

I felt a little bad for him too, but I can't get past this: why do these guys keep calling you or wanting to meet with you to tell you they are dating/marrying another girl? Do they feel guilty? Are they wishing you'd beg them to reconsider and date/marry you instead? And then he was SAD that you were so happy? Was it because he only wanted you to be happy with him? If that's the case, he truly didn't love you. I don't know. I am just so happy for you! I absolutely vote for a name change!! On to Colonel Brandon!

The Charmer said...

I love this post! I especially love your 6 realizations. Those are things that I need to remember, too.

But still, the thing I'm taking away from the post, the one thing that's sticking out in my mind, is this:

Has your hair been brown this whole time?

Apparently I am very unobservant. Either that or colorblind.

The Charmer

Tallulah said...

Oh my gosh, Thank you so much!! My roommate and I read this together and were shouting exclamations of concurrment the whole time. We do deserve better, and if a guy doesn't treat us the right way, we should have all the right in the world to bid him farewell and find someone who loves us! You, my dear, are inspirational!

Elisabeth said...

"Cut the cord!
Is that the man I once adored?
He's nothing but an albatross,
No great loss,
Forget about the boy.
Sister, you're much better off without him.
You can blow the blues a kiss goodbye,
Put the sun back in the sky;
When he comes crawlin'
I'm not fallin'!
Shout hooray and halleluh!"

The Coquette said...

My friend Charmer,
I guess my hair isn't really brown. It's more of a dirty blonde/light brown/sometimes dyed brown/sometimes it's red/it can't decide.

And thank you all for your support!

Heidi said...

Yesterday I went with a friend of mine to dinner at the house (in the tree streets west of campus) of a friend of my friend's(sorry if that just got confusing). My friend introduced me to the girls that lived there and we had a very lovely dinner. In the course of this dinner we started talking about how exasperating guys can be. Then one of the girls (I can't remember what her name is at the moment) told a story about her sister, or a friend of hers. Anyway, the story sounded remarkably similar to this story that you just told. Coincidence? I think not. When I asked the girl telling the story if she had ever heard of this blog, she said she hadn't. However, I'm convinced that the girl she was talking about is you. I still don't know who you are, but I think I came very close.
I just thought I'd share that with you.