Well now I just feel silly, in a good way
First of all, thank you to all the ladies that gave me an "amen!", and second of all, thanks to all of you who left comments with awesome advice. I've been mulling over whether or not to actually take a tennis racket to institute as a conversation starter. (Ha ha, I'm only joking a little).Mm kay, so I think that publicly determining to meet more dudes worked some magic, lemme tell you why. Last week after writing my post I went to "Place" (trying to keep my anonymity here), where I volunteer every week. There's this guy, let's call him Happy McSmiles, who works at Place and who I happen to find quite cute. (I hesitate here to call him cute because that's probably a bit emasculating, but he is just so CUTE. So too bad, I'm using it.) You know how sometimes you see someone and you can immediately tell that they are the kind of person who helps you move right after they get back from visiting their grandma in the nursing home and saving a baby from a burning building? That's what he looks like.
That being said, I've been admiring him from afar. He started working at Place a couple of months ago, and our paths don't typically cross much so there have only been a couple of passing 'nod and smiles' exchanged between us. Well, as fate would have it, last week I ended up working all by my lonesome nearer to him than usual and he came over to strike up conversation with me (internal excited squealing)! I had to leave about fifteen minutes later and was as bummed to no longer be talking to him as I was thrilled that we had talked at all. A little while later I finagled my way back to his area and made myself look busy, but all I was really doing was checking to see if he'd take the bait and come talk to me again. He did. (If you feelin' like a pimp, go on brush yo shoulders off). This time we talked until it was time for me to go home.
That is pretty much the climax of the story. He didn't get my number or anything, but we should see each other every week, and now that we have bridged the "I don't know who you are" gap, I foresee good things. I would now like to admit that I left Place completely giddy, and floated around on cloud nine for the next hour or so.
Moral of the story you ask? You can make a girl feel downright silly for not being able to wipe a grin off of her face, by simply striking up conversation.
I know that some of you guys will want to add caveats to this, like "well sure, if she already thinks I'm cute", or "yeah, as long as she already likes me". Yes, yes, these things are mostly true. But it's also true that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, as cliche as that phrase is. What may be comforting is that it's easy to test the water on this, to find out whether or not to pursue further- Does she seem interested in talking with you? Is she reciprocating questions to you? Is she smiling a lot? Is she laughing at your jokes? (even if you're not sure it was funny). If the answer is yes to at least two of those questions then you are in pretty good shape.
...Although, maybe I only know how I act when I'm reciprocating interest. What do you do when you're interested in the person approaching you? (open to guys and gals)
Yours Truly,
The Closer
6 comments:
Ahhhhh!!!!!! YES!!!! I love that feeling!!! Go, Closer!!! :)))
Hope it works out!!!
Happy volunteering this week!
I definitely laugh! And I definitely encourage the conversation, but I also hold eye contact if I'm interested.
I agree with the eye contact comment!
Also, here are some things I do in conversation if I am interested in someone:
- act excited
- touch their arm (elbow grab haha)
- stop to talk to them when going to class rather that passing and saying hi
- and all of the other things mentioned in your post
What I wonder is, is the list the same for guys? or are there other things... hmm
Hmmm... I don't think guys think about it as much, so it's less conscious. There's no active elbow-grabbing, at least not for me, and though I do make more eye contact, I think less about it. I do, however, focus more on her, act excited to see her, open doors more frequently for her than usual, and try to find opportunities to talk to/be with her every chance I get. I also get a bit nervous around ask-her-out time, so if I randomly go awkward when other guys are around, that may be why. Other guys, do you agree or disagree with these statements?
ELBOW TOUCHING.
Haha. But seriously. Lots of eye contact, especially the kind that lingers, flickers down and then quickly back up again... yeah. If a guy doesn't realize from that, that you're interested... HE IS SO DUMB, HE IS REALLY DUMB, FO REAL.
Ah, elbow touching. Just like in the Mormon Pride and Prejudice movie, which cracks me up every time. Also, I believe Mr. Director mentioned the "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" proverb in the last post. Which means it HAS to be true.
I blame boys completely for most of the silly grins on my face. But it always causes problems when it doesn't last.
To answer the question, I have a lot of trouble figuring out how to act. I've been too forward, scaring off the guys, and I've been far too shy, causing them to give up too soon. I can't seem to find a happy medium, but I suppose it's got to work out ONE of these days, right? Good luck to you, Closer, in these things working out.
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