Love at Third Sight

1/10/2012 The Charmer 7 Comments

Ah, love at first sight. What person hasn't wished at least once in their life that they could experience it?

I have to confess that today I'm basically going to be stealing this post from something Mr. Director wrote. I know, I know, I shameless. But the truth is I've been so flustered trying to get my schedule to work that I have very limited brain capacity left for creative endeavors, such as blogging.
(Oh, and if anyone plays flute in University Orchestra and would like to drop the class, that action would be greatly appreciated by myself so that I can get out of here in April instead of June. I am one performance credit short for my minor. One.)

Anyway, back to love at first sight.

I, for one, don't think it exists.

Once upon a time I was a terribly romantic girl who had never been in love nor even held a boy's hand and I believed the things I read in Sarah Dessen books and saw in early 21st-century chick flicks. That must be how it works, I thought. One day, I'd see a boy with chocolate-brown eyes and tousled cinnamon-brown hair and I would just know. Because the fact that the hair was "gently tousled" would give it away. Obviously.

It also didn't help that I was raised on Saturday's Warrior. There was a time in my life when I'm pretty sure I honestly believed that I had a soul mate and that I would be walking across a crowded sidewalk at BYU one day, we would make eye contact, and we would just know. Life would slow down as strains of music, audible to only the two of us, would start playing from who-knows-where and we would both break into a slow ballade and choreographed dance.

Now, if this phenomenon were to occur, it would definitely be at BYU. But I've come to the grand realization that life doesn't work that way. And love at first sight--I really don't think it exists.

Sure, I believe in attraction at first sight and I'd-like-to-get-to-know-you-better at first sight. Or even the I-feel-like-something-could-happen-with-you at first sight. But love? Nah.

However, I might believe in love at third sight.

In October of 2010, I was invited to attend a dinner for one of the grad programs on campus. They invited people with the top GPAs in their colleges and I'd say there were 40-50 people who ended up attending. I sat down at a table and started talking to the people there, only to notice a couple minutes later that one of my friends was sitting at a table just across the room (it was actually Cute James, if any of you remember him) . Recognizing that it would be rude to leave the people I was currently sitting with, I stayed put. The dinner ended up being kind of disappointing, as the people at my table were boring and the food wasn't even that great. Anyways, the important thing is that after the dinner I walked across campus with Cute James. There was also some other guy with Cute James, and I don't remember much about him except that we chatted about Young Ambassadors and a mutual friend Cat.

And that was that, right? I actually completely forgot about it until just recently when I found out that Mr. Director attended the same dinner. And that he sat at the table with Cute James. And that he walked with Cute James across campus afterwards. And that he remembered there was a girl walking with him and James. And that HE REMEMBERED TALKING TO THE GIRL ABOUT YOUNG AMBASSADORS AND HIS FRIEND CAT.

We TALKED! A year before Mr. Director and I started dating, we met each other and even had a conversation... and then promptly forgot about each other. There was no spark, no chemistry.
And then when we met again for the second time, I definitely thought he was cute...but I still wasn't interested.
It wasn't love at first sight. In fact, it wasn't even love at second sight. It wasn't until his third time running into me that he knew he was interested. (And I have to confess it took a couple more times to win me over. Haha.)

The morals of my little tale are as follows:

1. You never know who you're running into. It goes back to the whole "don't judge a book by its cover" thing. You can't know after meeting someone once how they might change your life.

2. Our lives really are guided. Mr. Dir and I started dating really quickly because it felt right. I don't think I would have been ready to date him a year ago--I was in a very volatile on/off relationship with The Ex and Mr. Dir was about to start the longest relationship of his life. Those experiences shaped both of us, especially in regards to what we expect from relationships. What if we'd experienced that magical "love at first sight" moment? Maybe it would have worked out. But maybe we weren’t supposed to date yet because God knew we both still had a lot of growing to do before we met each other. After all, God does know what he's doing. If we trust His timing, things will work out.

3. Love at first sight? Pshaw. Save it for the movies.

The Charmer

PS- If any of you actually do have some real-life "first sight" tales, please share them!
PPS- I think Mr. Director is rather attractive.

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Lexi said...

This isn't a personal story, but one of the YW leaders I had as a beehive had a "love at first sight" moment with her current husband- and they've been married probably 40 years. They met at a church dance and when he asked her to dance they both knew that they'd met the person they'd be spending the rest of their lives with. After he went on his mission they got married. So cute! (:

Bethany said...

I have a story for everything.
My dad served his mission in Salt Lake, and upon returning to D.C. where he is from he went to a singles ward dance. There he saw a girl being obnoxious and singing into a daisy as if it were a microphone. He fell in love with her right there. Luckily, that girl was only in D.C. for the summer as well, and they met up at BYU a couple weeks later. The rest is history. And yes, I like daisies just like my mom.

Elisabeth said...

In response to the ensemble: Why not come play in Uni Band with me? I had to drop Uni Orchestra because of work, so I'm in band now, and it's fun.
In response to the love-at-first-sight thing: Some days I feel like I believe in it, some days I don't. I'm not sure I've ever really loved anyone, so I guess if I ever figure it out, I'll let you know. :)

Anonymous said...

The first time I talked to my current boyfriend, it was so awkward I quite literally thought he might be autistic and never particularly wanted to talk to him again. More like anti-love at first sight.

Gotta love how wrong first impressions can be...

Anonymous said...

When I met my husband it was NOT love at first sight on my part, but apparently it was something akin to that on his side. We were on our missions and I thought he was a cute kid who deserved a cute wife and I remember telling my companion one day "I can't wait to see who he marries, because she is going to be so cute!"

On his side, he had already decided to look me up after the mission and was sad when someone told him I had a boyfriend. (which boyfriend had dear janed me the week before we met, but I hadn't told anyone yet =P). When we randomly met up at BYU he was thrilled that I was single, and obviously, so was I. He wasted no time in asking me out =P

Mirage said...

How about love-at-first-blog-reading? Okay, okay, it wasn't love, but I certainly will admit, I was SUPER (and abnormally) interested when I first read WoaSM. The first time I actually SAW him? Call me corny, but I definitely knew right then and there that I WOULD fall in love with him... So... it kind of was love. In a way.

Anonymous said...

I started creeper-lovin' on this attractive boy in one of my classes on day one of the semester, right when he walked in... and never said a word to him.
Until the end of the semester when we had to do a group project together.
And subsequently started dating.