Awkward moments with a freckle-armed man.

1/11/2012 The Anti-Austen 7 Comments

I still haven't heard anything from Texty McTexterson, so I think I can officially consider that bullet dodged. *phew!

Warning: I am about to tell you a very uneventful story, that was the eventful moment of my week. I'm really hoping that you can relate.

Okay, so. There is this boy in my ward, Awkward Pants, and I think he is so very handsome. He has this kind face, with big strong hands, and freckles on his arms. I love that for some reason, freckles on arms. When I first moved into this ward I could have sworn he thought I was hot stuff, I caught him looking at me all the time. He seemed really shy and had never ventured to talk to me, but I caught his stare pretty frequently. Eventually he had to talk to me because our callings collided, and now almost every time he's talked to me, it's been about "business" matters. I call him Awkward Pants because we cannot seem to have a conversation that is not incredibly awkward. One- since I have this awful crush on him, he makes me nervous, and two- I must make him nervous also, because it's like we are both robots that are desperately in need of some WD-40. Hi- how- are- you-? I- am- fine. I- like- your- bangs. Thank- you.

It's awful. BUT- with my lovely New Year's resolution to flirt more, I am determined to start having real conversations! Enter my Plan of Action: On Sunday I decided to make a big dinner and invite a bunch of random friends over, all with the goal of inviting him too without seeming too forward. Guess what?

I DID IT.

And he came. And sat by me. And we talked. And it wasn't about business. And it was only about half as awkward as usual. And I still think he's oh-so-handsome. *dreamy sigh

Okay maybe you think I'm lame now, I would too, but the funny thing is that I feel SO accomplished. Going on a date with him is so far out of the realm of expectations right now, that I feel wholly satisfied with the current status. He is shy enough that I'm convinced we need to be much more comfortable with one another before it could go anywhere. I wrote before about "assuming the sale", and I promise I'm trying to take my own advice. I have decided that of course he likes me, I just need to make it as easy as possible for him to do something about it.

Here's where I need your help- I've been mulling over ideas for what to try and do next Sunday, or the next time I see him. Should I go talk to him every time I see him? Some of the time? Invite him over for a game night? Tell him how incredibly good looking I think he is? (ha-ha yeah right, not doing that, but I've envisioned doing it in my mind and it's a hoot!) Ideas please!

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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7 comments:

Heidi said...

Following up on a dinner night, I think a game night is a fine idea. It could be really fun and give you guys another chance to get to know each other. ooh, especially if you play a game with teams of two and you two were a team...

Kristen said...

I definitely agree with the above comment. Also, you want to only talk to him some of the time because if you talk to him all the time one of two things will happen: one, he will catch on and since he is kind of awkward it might make things awkward; two, he could get annoyed of you. Not saying that that is going to happen but it is a possibility. Good luck with him :)

(First of all, let me apologize to The Closer. I love your writing, and in posting this don't mean to distract anyone from it in any way.)

Dear Readers,

Featherstone McGee is once again single. I half-heartedly apologize for not providing you with a plethora of details, but the truth is simply this: I don’t want to.

I’ve sat down at my computer several times with the intent to write something for January. Many thoughts have crossed my mind, including, among several possible topics, the words “give up Featherstone McGee entirely” and “reveal your identity to the world”.

I’ve settled on this: I will be taking a hiatus of an undetermined length. I will be back when my passion for dating has been restored. Until then, feel free to email me at Featherstone.McGee@gmail.com. Ask me anything. Also, as a little game, I’m leaving “Featherstone McGee was here” tags on whiteboards in the Wilk. There’s no objective – I just get bored at work.

Sincerely,
Featherstone McGee

Elisabeth said...

Dear The Closer,
Do you think this will work for more people? I'm in a horribly similar situation... But on the other hand, I'd say don't go over the top with the saying hi if he's shy, that would just scare people. But DO say hi sometimes! Just become more and more a part of his daily routine. Good luck!
Sincerely,
me

Juichi said...

Bravo for giving the awkward guy a chance. I was once an awkward pants. I'm usually not anymore, and that's because certain women took me under their wing and patiently taught me how to deal with society. I may be totally wrong, but I bet his shyness, hiding behind formalities and awkwardness are all symptoms of a similar need for patient friendship, which you and your roommates are starting to provide. As you work with him, he should become less awkward, and you can take advantage of his positive aspects.

Anonymous said...

A game night would be a great follow up. It is a really nice (hopefully laid back) environment in which you can converse and even work together. I know i can be an awkward guy, but I feel comfortable at game nights. I relax a little more and I am not so awkward. And Closer, congrats on being brave enough to take action, I wish more girls would. Which reminds me, I need to call a girl that did.
About saying hi to someone, it is always good to greet those you know. If it is at a distance, then give a friendly wave. If you have something to talk about stop and talk on occasion, just don't make this the norm.

The Closer said...

I'm loving the tips! I like the game night idea, and I'm thinking that the here-and-there technique with talking to him is a good plan too. I'm looking forward to implementing some ideas!

@Elisabeth- I bet this would work on others! I have a super shy brother who needs a ton of coaxing before he realizes that he can safely ask out a girl. Sometimes great guys just don't know how great we think they are.

@Juichi- I am glad to hear some positive feedback from the male side! I'm always paranoid that I'm being too forward, so it's nice to know that I'm *probably* doing alright.

Dearest Featherstone- First of all, thank you for the compliment. Second of all, I think you should write a post about taking a hiatus in case not everyone reads this string of comments. That way we don't have girls crying themselves to sleep at night plagued about what frightening thing has stolen you away from us. (And then we can comment all about how much we love you and you should come back so that you feel better sooner because we make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside).

--End world's longest comment--