butterflies

8/30/2011 The Charmer 3 Comments

Darling readers,

Be proud of me! I just called a boy to give the dreaded "You're really cool but I don't see this going anywhere talk." Phew! You might think that I do this a lot because of the number of boys who are interested in me, but I don't. I hate having that conversation and I avoid it like the plague. I'm pretty sure I was just as nervous to call him as he was the first time he called me and asked me on a date.

Anyways, you might not care...but I'm pretty darn proud of myself.



So...I met up with The Boy Downstairs last week.

And....well, I'll be honest; I was a little disappointed.

Even though I technically haven't been "waiting for him" all summer, there was a part of me that kept thinking about him and looking forward to when he'd come home. Unfortunately, I think I suffered from the "waiting for a missionary syndrome"--I idolized him while he was away and he ended up being a lot greater in my head than he was in person.

Don't get me wrong. He's still really nice. He's still a really good person. But I just wasn't feeling that "spark" with him.

I realized that I really need a guy who can go along with my crazy ideas. And even though The Boy Downstairs is a great guy, he's a little too...mellow.

But Masimo...
...now there's a guy who will go along with whatever outrageous plans I concoct in my head.

As you might remember, I noted in an earlier post that I wasn't sure if I could date Masimo. After all, we've been in "the friend zone" for an extended period of time, and I've never felt that crazy butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling when I'm around him.

But maybe the problem is not the lack of butterflies. Maybe the problem is this: because I've always experienced that butterfly sensation with my crushes in the past, I didn't think I could fall for someone unless I felt that way. However, the more time I spend around Masimo, the more I start to realize Wow...I think I might really be interested in this guy.

Maybe a lifetime of Disney movies and YA novels have left me confused about what love really is. Maybe true love isn't something that's always accompanied by sparks and butterflies and fireworks. Maybe it's one of those things that is supposed to creep up quietly. Maybe love is supposed to be less like an explosion and more like growing up. It doesn't happen with lights and sounds; rather, it happens gradually without you even noticing it.

Until one day, you look around you and realize, Wow, I've grown up. And then you look at that person you've been friends with since before you can remember and it hits you--Wow, I'm also in love.

(The problem is that I really do love those butterflies.)

Ta-ta,
The Charmer