Incidents from the Life of the Charmer: Worst Wingman Ever Pt. 1

8/12/2014 The Charmer 1 Comments

In lieu of having any real dating developments to write about, I thought I'd share with you a story that I still chuckle about that occurred before I left on my adventurous EFY summer. Enjoy!


There I was, recently returned missionary, trying to relearn how to navigate the waters of dating. And there he was, the most beautiful man my RM eyes had beheld.
His name was Rex. Rex Burg.

Rex entered my life at institute one night not quite two months after I came back from my mission. He had just moved here for the summer from BYU-ID. [And no, he was NOT one of the aforementioned summer sales boys.] I think the best way to explain it is this:
The moment I saw him, my heart was gone. He had it.

I realize that sentence may be the single most dramatic thing I've ever written on this blog. But that's honestly what happened. Maybe it wasn't instantaneous...maybe he made a few comments in class before my heart was coaxed from its usual perch...however, regardless of WHEN it happened that night, the truth is that by the end of the class I was crushing BIG TIME.

It was strange...really strange. Here I was, still half-afraid of guys, I didn't even KNOW this one, and yet all of a sudden the only thing I wanted to do was have a deep and satisfying conversation with him. Sure, I found him extremely attractive, but the level of my interest was more than just the usual feeling you have when you're checking out a cute guy. I doubt this will make much sense to you, but the best way I can describe how he felt to me when he walked in and the thought that kept running through my head was this: He feels like summer. Yes. He felt like summer. He just felt right.

Anyway, regardless of WHY I fell so hard for this newcomer, it happened. After the class that day, a group of us were talking and I found myself even more impressed with him. He was a really humble and sincere guy. He even seemed to show a little bit of interest in me....yes!

However, you may recall that in my recently returned missionary stage, I was somewhat clueless as to what to do with men. Flirting was a skill that had abandoned me over the last 18 months. I'd forgotten about elbow grabbing and invisible fluff, and witty banter seemed outside my realm of competency.

So, I came up with a plan.

PLAN A: Hire a Wingman

[Okay, just for the record, I didn't actually make plans on how to win Rex over. These things just sort of happened.]

The next week, he was there again at institute. The class was awesome and SUPER spiritual. We had some solid discussion and I was again impressed with Rex's spiritual insight and sensitivity. Apparently, all of the other girls were impressed as well, because after class let out he was surrounded by a group of them on one side of the room. I was actually not in this gaggle of girls; I was on the other side of the room chatting with my friend Rachel.

Cue Jared.

Jared is my red-headed slightly awkward friend whose favorite game is trying to set me up with every guy who walks into the church building. He'd been trying (unsuccessfully) to hook me up with everyone in sight since coming home. As soon as Rex entered the state, Jared sniffed him out and decided he'd be the perfect match for me. On Sunday, he'd cornered me and demanded to know, "Sooo...what do you think about Rex?"I figured it'd be nice for him to try set me up with someone I was actually interested in for a change, so I'd let him know that for once, he was right on target.

With this conversation in mind, Jared sidles over to me and Rachel and and asks, "Why aren't you over there with your lover boy? You're never going to win him over by standing on the other side of the room."

I paused before responding. Did I really want to involve Jared in this? However, I figured this was a grand opportunity to get a little help. So, still with a bit of hesitation, I told him, "Hey, Jared, I've forgotten how to flirt. I need you to be my wingman." 

I've never seen his face light up so fast.

In hindsight, I should have known from the crazy gleam in his eyes that this was NOT going to end well...

the charmer

(Part 2 is on its way soon!)

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