From a Guest Blogger who really is the bee's knees.

12/21/2011 The Anti-Austen 11 Comments

If any of you have ever worked in sales (top-notch sales lady at your service) you have likely heard the tip to always "assume the sale". Basically this means to assume that your potential customer wants what you are selling and is going to buy it. Whenever I am selling a product, 99% of the time, I know better than the potential customer does why they need/want this product, so it's my job to bring them to that same understanding. You can do the same thing with dating- you know why you are valuable much better than someone who just met you.

Raise your hand if you find it attractive when the guy or girl that you are crushing on is confident? *raises hand. I can't see you, but I know your hand is raised. You probably also added the caveat in your mind that they can't be arrogant, cocky, or conceited. Agreed- all of those attributes are quite unappealing. What I'm talking about is nothing excessive or annoying, it's simply understanding and believing in those things you have to offer.

Coming back to the sales analogies "No" is not something that you ever want to hear, and the same thing goes for dating- rejection has yet to make my list of favorite things. One of your most powerful tools is making yourself believe that no one wants to tell you no, and not making it easy for them to do so. This advice goes for both girls and guys.

Ladies- Keeping with the theme here, we are advertising ourselves (I'm not trying to be crass, but there are some real comparisons to be made here). One, we need to make sure and "advertise" for the kind of buyer that we want, and two, we need to believe that the buyer definitely wants to purchase alllll o' this *snaps fingers with some attitude. There have been times when I have been in potentially awkward situations with guys and repeated in my mind "be cool Closer, be cool, you are a cool person". I'm not lying here- it worked- my nervousness was eased and was able to be myself.

Gents- When you are asking a girl out, or getting her number, or any number of things that put you on the alter, believe that she wants to say yes, heck, she wants you to ask her. No girl wants to say yes and feel like she's throwing you a bone, she wants to feel like she just picked up some prime rib. If you believe that you are that prime rib, she will start to as well. Have you ever tried to convince someone that you can smell something, and eventually they can "smell" it to? (If you haven't you should, it's hilarious). The power of suggestion is a wonderful thing, and by simply believing something in your own mind and acting accordingly, you are suggesting that same thing to others. To give you a tangible example: After talking with a girl that you are interested in tell her "I would love to see you again, what are your plans for Friday?". Do you see what I did there? "No" is not an answer to the question. Also, she already knows that you when you are going to take her out, so there's none of anxious waiting for a phone call.

I could go on and on but I'm telling you that it all starts in your mind. Find a way to believe that you are the bee's knees and eventually others will believe it too.

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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I don't usually like bees, but when I do, I like them to have knees.

Ah, a saleswoman! I like you! You know exactly how to say what you want to, and you mean it, too!

Excellent advice. I dare say I sometimes lack on the confidence front, but I of course can improve. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

But the question remains: how do I pronounce your psuedonym? Is it "The Closer" - 'oase' - like the TV show? Or "The Closer" - 'oaze' - like the clincher, the finisher, the conclusionist [I have no idea what the noun form is for "one who concludes." As is obvious.]

[Conclusor? Concludinator? Concluder? Whoa, that one isn't spelt-checked, so I guess that's it? Hm.]

jenerator said...

MMMKAY, as much as I love Col Onel Paisley (add him on Facebook!) I have to say that this post was the best/most concise advice post I have ever seen on this blog. (Col, you know I love you death! But you are rather... anecdote-y, admit it.)
So, Closer, thank you. Even though I have myself my own lovely prime rib, it doesn't hurt to remind him what an excellent purchase he made. ;)

jenerator said...

love you *TO* death. My bad. Colonel Paisley is definitely not death.

M. Palmer said...

That was a fantastic guest post! Some great advice!

Anonymous said...

"No girl wants to say yes and feel like she's throwing you a bone, she wants to feel like she just picked up some prime rib" Bahahahahahaha awesome. Just. Awesome. And true.

And...Col. Paisley...the TV show is The Closer as in "ozer" as in "one who closes". Because the main character closes cases? You know? not the "oaser" kind of closer...she's not trying to get close to criminals...

JanelleM said...

GREAT advice!! (for dating and most other areas of life as well!)

Thanks for the correction, Anonymous. I could have sworn the TV show was pronounced as The Closer "oaser." I'm obviously crazy.

I'm definitely anecdotey. I admit it.

I definitely have a problem with the "arrogant, cocky, and conceited" thing. But then I remember:

Anonymous said...

I agree wholeheartedly. The most important thing I've learned from my college experience thus far is not what my classes have taught me. It's that I am me, and the person that I'll be with for eternity is going to accept me for that. Mind you, it's not in a "well-I-guess-I'm-just-inferior-and-I've-gotta-deal-with-it" kind of way, it's a "I'm-awesome-simply-because-I'm-me-and-the-one-who-matters-will-appreciate-that-fully" kind of way. No one can make you feel less than you really are, but you being aware of everything you really are can certainly draw others in to you.

Mirage said...

Ladies, feel free to thank me that I have freed you from the clutches of arrogant, cocky, conceited, pretentious WfaSM.
He's not as bad as he seems, I promise.

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