A Lady should be allowed to say no every once in a while

11/22/2012 The Blue Stocking 1 Comments

I’m Alive!

So I went on a bloging hiatus…without realizing that was what I was doing. Anyhoo, here are the updates. Things with the TA and I did not work out. It’s nothing dramatic, it just didn’t happen.
In other news, I think I mentioned that there was a certain someone in my ward who I liked me, but I didn’t like him and he was friends with my apartment. Well if I didn’t that last sentence was a complete summary.

The reason I bring him up is he is the first guy that I have ever said no to for a first date.

Now before you unleash your wrath of abhorrence at my dreadful behavior, let me explain the situation.

This fello (let’s call him Kirk) had been slowly becoming a regular at our apartment and we too had spent many a night at his. So going on a date with him would be me saying “yes, I know you and sure I think we could give this whole relationship a try.” I sound extreme right? Ok, let me break my thinking down for you.
I believe that first dates are meant to help you get to know a guy. Second dates are if the first date didn’t scare you away. Third dates are saying, “hey, you don't creep me out". And from then on it’s peaches and apple pie for your young love (that saying makes no sense, I realize that).
So going on a first date is not committal, in fact it’s barely above a hang out. BUT if you have already hung out with this person for an extended amount of time and you have realized that you do not in fact like him then going on that date can do two things:
1.       Make him think that after spending time with him, you do like him

2.       Ruin your friendship as you awkwardly try to get out of a second date. And let’s face it, there is no nice way to say “hey I don’t think that us hanging out alone is a dream come true”.
And there you have it,that is why I said no. Well, I didn’t say no, I said I was busy, which was true. I’ve been swamped with homework, but if I’m being completely honest, if it was a boy I really liked I would have ditched just about anything in order to be around him.
Side story: Last year I was home sick with the flu, when the guy I was borderline stalking called me up to go on a last minute date. How last minute? Dinner was supposed to be in an hour. AN HOUR. Well, that doesn’t sound too bad right? Wrong. I also had a test I had to take at the testing center and that day was the last day to take it. So what did I do? I RAN to the testing center, took a test that was supposed to take 2 hours in about 20 min, ran home, changed my clothes, and was putting the last pin in my hair when he rang the doorbell. Ridiculous, but very true. We ended going out a for a couple months, so I like to think getting a less than Bluestocking grade on that test was worth it.
Ok, back on schedule. After I canceled our date, I went into stage two of making sure Kirk and I would stay just friends. That goal centered around making sure a date would never take place. What I did was remove me from apartment hangouts for about a week and a half in hopes that it would make him weary about asking me out again. It worked like magic. Kirk and I are now great friends and our apartments have not suffered from my awkward ways.
On a serious note, I wish I did like Kirk. He truly is a great guy. I’m just glad that nothing too awful happened.
-The Bluestocking


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Kara said...

I'm always for girls saying yes to every date because I know how hard it is for a guy to ask us out, but I think you have a point. Good luck with Kirk.