To Stay or Not to Stay... in the friend zone

7/11/2012 The Closer 5 Comments

Something unexpected happened to me this past week.

Last Thursday night I was driving home and got a phone call from Mijo, who I have mentioned just once before. He and I are great friends, and being great friends has always been easy, because there is a 10 inch height difference. I am 10 inches taller than him.

You may already be able to tell this is going, but I shall proceed regardless. I see his name on the caller ID and I am glad that he is calling. He and I always have fun chats, and I figure he's calling to say hello or tell me a funny story. We chit chat for the first ten or so minutes of the call, and then he pauses and says "I was actually calling to ask you on a date for this Saturday." This caught me completely off guard and I sputtered "Wait... Really?" without even thinking about it. I'm sure that was kind to his ego. He laughed and replied that he was indeed serious, and I agreed to a date.

After I hung up the phone I had a few thoughts. I think I was first impressed that he wasn't letting a silly thing like a [big] height difference keep him from asking me out. Next I was curious- Has he been interested in me all along and is finally acting on it? Did he decide that if we get along so well we might as well try dating? Is he just trying to show me that shorter men can see me as a woman too? (He knows about Mr. Manager's "If you were a girl" comment.) After a few minutes of my brain buzzing with unanswered questions, I issued a cease-and-desist order on all of that, and just decided to go and have fun.

And have fun I did. I had more fun on this date than I have on a first date in a very long time. Every time we were sitting and talking and laughing, I was having a great time. And then it would be time to stand up again, and I would be reminded that I have to stoop down to keep conversation going. That is a weird feeling.

You know how sometimes you are with a guy and you can imagine how nice it would be if he put his arm around you? Try as I might, even imaginary cuddling is awkward with Mijo.

What I am wrestling with now, is what if he asks me out again? It doesn't seem incredibly likely, but do I keep trying? Also, if he doesn't ask me out, how long of him not asking me out qualifies me to be able to talk to him about my love life again? Turns out, it's hard to talk to your date about the other guys you want to be dating. Do I want my friend back? Or am I not giving my friend the potential he deserves?

Yours Truly,

The Closer

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Anonymous said...

I know examples of where it works, long term happy marriage with great kids, it is just different and life is like that. So the real question is how do you feel and where do you want it to go? If it works you won't have to talk with him again about other boys. Life is an adventure and we are the makers of fashion.

Sarah said...

10 inches! That is rough. I think you let it go a bit further and see if you feel comfortable or not. Some people don't care and others do.

Anonymous said...

I think you and The Lady can share comment sections on these issues--height and age. It really depends on the people, but by and large, why not give it a go?

ErinQuiseng said...

So usually I don't really care too much about height, but...seeing as how it's a 10" would be too much for me. But that's probably only because I'm 5'10" so a ten inch difference would make him 5', which...I don't like that big of a difference. The guy I like is barely 2" shorter than me, but it doesn't bother me. But 10" is too much for me...haha

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