Ex-Lover Letters

8/30/2012 The Romantic 6 Comments

Something happens every time I move. This move back to Provo was no exception.

Deep inside the dark corners of my Rubbermaid containers, I find letters from old boyfriends. I find letters, drawings, and mixed cds. Over the years, the pile has gotten smaller and smaller. I've gotten rid of the t-shirts of theirs I used to wear to bed. The old sweatshirts are gone. But there's still that small little pile of letters that I haven't been able to part with the last few years.

I've attributed that mostly to my artistic sensibilities. My very first boyfriend, Mr. Advice, was an incredible writer. Even though I hardly look at anything he's written me anymore, I still can't get rid of it. To me, it seems like it would be destroying art. And I could never do that!

One day on my mission, I mentioned to my companion that I still had some old letters from old boyfriends.

"Burn them!" she said. Then she told me a story about a woman in her ward who still kept letters from old boyfriends, and read them whenever she had a bad day or got into an argument with her husband. She did this because it made her feel better.

That sent me into a panic. I was determined to burn everything as soon as I got off the plane.

But what about my journals? Those are even more personal and express much more romantic love than my ex-lovers' letters ever did. Should I sharpie out any mention of those relationships? That seems like a ridiculous measure to take. I've learned so much from the relationships I've been in, and if anyone can glean some of that knowledge from my journals, I think I should leave the sharpie marker out of it.

What do you think readers? Do you still have ex-lover letters?

And now, a few sentences regarding my first week back at the Y:
-I've seen Mr. Lowe once, quite by accident. We ended up studying together for a half hour. It was uneventful.
-Last Monday, I went to our ward FHE. I was the only girl in the room for about ten minutes. There were twenty (at least) very good looking men in the room. My awkward post-mission self just about had a panic attack being alone with all of them. Especially when one of the good looking men leaned waaaay into my personal space to talk to me. I hope I get over this soon.
-Mr. E still messages me on facebook. Mr. L thinks this is hilarious and that Mr. E's persistence is admirable.  I'm still terrified.

goooo cougs!!!
xoxo
-the Romantic

6 comments:

Signed, Anonymous.

8/30/2012 The Anti-Austen 6 Comments

Once, a great while ago, we received an email from a man that contained a simple letter to his future wife. I posted it on the blog because I loved it. It restored and bolstered my faith that men are trying too, that I'm not in a one-sided tug-of-war. He sent me another letter today and I want you to see it merely because it is a good reminder for me as well as you. And maybe one of you is the one he is writing to (or will be one day) and you have to know.

-The Lady



Dear Wife-to-be,

Thank you.

For so many things.

Today, it's simply the fact that you'll take the time. It means a lot, so thank you. Thank you for taking the time to actually get to know me, the real me; for understanding who I am and who I strive to be. Thank you for listening; for realizing that somewhere in my endless ramblings there was meaning - there was purpose. Thank you for understanding my silence - for hearing that which I don't know how to say. Thank you for realizing I'm not as simple as I seem, or as complex as I tend to believe. I know it's not always easy, and at times your patience wears thin, but you'll give me a chance, followed by many more, and for that I thank you.

Now I really must tell you - I miss you.

I miss you more than I dare admit. 

I don't know where you are, or who you are, but I know that I miss you, and I know that you're missing. You're missing from my life, and along with you is part of me, and this simply won't do. I miss you and I won't be complete until I find you.

So come back. Please. Come home. 

I'm sure there are times when you wonder if it's all worth it - I do too - but the beautiful thing is, with you, I won't have to wonder anymore - you'll unknowingly answer all of my questions, and I hope to do the same for you. I don't know when our paths will cross, but I look forward to that day, and many more after that.

Remember that I'm trying, and know that I'm waiting for you. Only you.

You see, waiting is what we do when we know something will be worth it; waiting is what we do when we want to get something right.

And I intend on getting this right.

6 comments:

Until We Meet Again

8/28/2012 The Charmer 2 Comments

Well my darlings, I'm heading out! Tomorrow I'll be back in Provo, the beloved country, although I'll be restricted to the MTC so I doubt I'll run into any of you.

So this is it...goodbye. But maybe it's more appropriate to say "see ya later!" After all, it is only a year and a half. And even though I probably won't be a regular poster when I return (I mean, it is about BYU dates, after all, and heaven knows if I'll get a chance to return to BYU), I'll make sure to stop by and say hello. And maybe you'll even cross my mind one p-day and I'll write a little letter just for all of you.

On my last post, I got a bit chastised for not telling you what really went down with me and Mr. Director in the end. Well, to be honest, there isn't too much to say. We didn't really "break up" or anything, we just said "see ya" and parted ways, both brushing a few tears from our eyes. We've texted and called each other regularly over the past couple weeks, and I'll see him tomorrow morning before I report to the MTC. Like I mentioned on the last post, I haven't asked him to "wait" for me. But he told me that he's going to be around when I get home. The first time we discussed this (and I , of course, said that I didn't really expect him to be around when I got back...after all, he is quite the ladies' man), he just looked at me and asked, "Do you really think I'll be married in a year and a half?" And truly, when I thought about it...no. Come on, the kid is terrified of commitment! He finally got to the point where he told me, "If you stay in Provo, I'll marry you"...but by that point, I'd made up my mind. I was going on a mission! It's what I've wanted to do my whole entire life. I love teaching the gospel and I can't think of anything I'd rather do right now...not even marriage. (I'm sure on the tough days, I'll look back and think WHY DID I GO ON A MISSION INSTEAD OF GETTING MARRIED?!?! Haha.) Really, though, in the end...it was my choice. And I chose to go on a mission. (Plus he never actually tried to stop me, let's be honest.)
Do I hope he's around in a year and a half? Right now, the answer is yes. Of course, I don't know how I'll feel in March of 2014. That's just how I feel now. He still has a year of school left, but he told me, "There's really nothing left in Provo for me since you're gone." Awww. So, winter semester he'll be doing a foreign exchange/study abroad program. It doesn't seem like he'll meet too many eligible girls off in Europe, but who knows. I guess we'll just see what happens.

Anyway, like I said in the last post, I've loved writing on this blog and getting to share my stories with you! I wish you all the greatest success in your dating lives!
Here is my dating blessing for all of you:
Every time you wait for your own Traveler in Europe, may things work out for you when he returns.
When you find a Masimo, may you be able to tell him how you feel. And may the two of you dance many sambas and foxtrots together.
May your Piano Men always get the hint when you tell them you just want to be friends! (And if you do end up accidentally kissing one of them, let it be a really good kiss.)
If you find a Mr. Director, may your relationship be fun and exciting and most importantly, break-free. (And perhaps you shouldn't leave on a mission if you want things to work out.)
May all your Valentine's Days find you with a smile on your face and a treat in your hand.
If you are single, may each new semester bring you new and exciting dating prospects.
For the guys: May the car never break down on a first date.
For the girls: May you always be as witty and good with words around men as Elizabeth Bennett.
May all your first kisses bring you butterflies, and let them be slobber-free.
May you really mean it with all your heart every time you say "I love you."

Well...here I go! Best of luck to all of you!

toodles,
the charmer

2 comments:

A Lady's Condense Guide to Hunting

8/26/2012 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments


Well ladies, it’s a new semester and we have a fresh batch of young men in our wards. Let the hunting begin. Let us remember three vital things that all ladies in search of a dapper gent should consider.
1.       The bate determines the catch: make sure your bate is catching the kind of fish you actually want and deserve (I hope that made sense outside of my head).

2.       Guys don’t like girls who metaphorically and physically step on their competition

3.       Don’t let the fear of being alone lead you into the arms of a questionable man. Or in the words of Mr. Wilde “I think its healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."  
Well happy hunting ladies and may the odds be ever in your favor...yes I just went there.
P.S. Fancy my surprise when the one and only Scooter showed up to church this Sunday. I do believe I was speechless. Here’s three cheers for wards filled with your ex-dating adventures. Details to come in a later post...
-The Bluestocking

2 comments:

Mr. Collins was not a sensible man.

8/24/2012 The Lady 3 Comments


My path has once again crossed that of Mr. Collins'. How foolish I was to believe that once he moved out of my ward our association with each other would end absolutely. Unfortunately, I bumped into Mr. Collins last week at a party of a mutual friend's and was forced to acknowledge his presence. Since I had not seen him for the entirety of the summer, a happy circumstance I am not ashamed to admit, I decided to be quite cordial and almost too kind. A mistake I should have had the foresight not to make. But once I left the party and Mr. Collins' company, I was happily assured that I would not have to trouble myself with him any longer. (Besides, I had just said my final goodbye to Clive, and my thoughts were occupied with his perfection and my despair at seeing him go.) I have become entirely too foolhardy, and let my guard down all too quickly.



The Setting: A warm Wednesday afternoon in August during the walk home from campus.

The Characters: The Lady, her friend Miss Smith, and a creeping Mr. Collins.

The Plot: As Miss Smith and I meandered calmly away from campus discussing whatever it was that tickled our fancy, I was struck with the wonder of summer and how I wished it would last forever. It was a pleasant walk and I cannot imagine feeling anymore tranquil than I did at that moment. It was short-lived. I turned to Miss Smith in response to a question, and in that unexpected moment, Mr. Collins jumped directly into my path from behind and yelled excitedly, "Hey, Lady!" My reaction was quite unexpected. At being so startled on such a peaceful stroll, I released a howling scream. Not a dainty oh-my-you-startled-me yelp, but a deafening I-just-discovered-an-ax-murderer-lurking-in-my-shower shriek. The sound reverberated around campus, the birds went silent, and anyone in the nearby vicinity clutched at their hearts as they had all been momentarily stopped by my ear-splitting bellow. The League of Banshees is now looking over my recently submitted application.

Despite being the recipient of this less than cheerful greeting, Mr. Collins was not deterred. He joined Miss Smith and I on our walk as though we were a merry posse. Providentially, we were not far from my apartment, and I was blessed to be able to bid goodbye to Mr. Collins (not without his promise that he would come visit me soon), and Miss Smith was lucky enough to not have him follow her home gallantly escort her to her own apartment.

An hour later, I received a text from Mr. Collins inquiring about my plans for the weekend. Thank goodness I have already booked every spare minute! However, I am unsure as to how I will be able to keep Mr. Collins at bay; he has a record, as you may remember, of not being easily deterred. I best find a boyfriend, and quickly.

Con Amor,
The Lady

P.S. I apologize to those of you whose windows have
been shattered because of my scream. I would gladly
pay to have them all replaced, but the beginning of the
semester has cruelly depleted my funds. My sincerest
condolences. I am willing however, to help you scrounge
up some cardboard and duct tape.

3 comments:

This couldn't wait

8/22/2012 The Romantic 4 Comments

It's not my day to post, but today I couldn't help myself. 

I had to share the cruel twisted hand that fate dealt me last weekend. 

Last Friday night, quite spur of the moment mind you, I decided to go to the temple with my mum. I love the temple. I was looking for some good quiet time to mediate on my "love life". Sadly, I think I've returned from my mission as one of those people that's obsessed with getting married. I reason with myself that that this is ok, because everyone else seems to be obsessed with my getting married as well (even my 9 year old sister has taken to asking me what qualities I look for in a man). 
So I went to the temple with a sincere prayer that I stop freaking out so much about the "M" word. 

There's a funny thing about going to the temple on a Friday night though. It's usually date night. (Insert my ironic look here)  But the really interesting part of the story comes next. 

As I'm walking out of the front doors of the temple, I see a figure that looks suspiciously like Mr. Lowe. 

"You have got to be kidding me," I thought. 

But it was no joke. There was Mr. Lowe, with a group of friends from out of town. 

WHAT WERE THE ODDS!?!? Seriously!? Seriously! Friday night at nine o'clock, and Mr. Lowe just happens to be hanging out at the temple. 

We chatted. My mom practically interrogated him with all the ruthlessness of a police detective. Nothing too personal, just the usual "What's your major?" "Where did you go on your mission?" "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I'm certain if there was a bright light to flash into his eyes, she would've used it. 

We bid farewell, and said we would see each other on Sunday, as I was to speak in his ward. 

Just when I'm determined to forget the fellow he pops every where! 

Normally, I go to the singles ward here, but being my last Sunday, I decided to attend my family ward. 

And who do you think was the first person I saw when I walked in? If you guessed Mr. Lowe again, you would be quite correct. His best friend was speaking in my ward, so he decided to come and listen. 

After my Sacrament meeting ended, we waited for his to start. We talked about BYU. He offered to pick me up from the airport if I needed a ride. I still haven't decided whether I should take him up on it or not. 

Before his ward started, he set me up on the stand with my little headphones so he could translate the rest of Sacrament meeting for me. His voice is perrrrrrrfect. 

Afterwards, he scurried off to go teach a class. I texted him that he looked very stylish in his suit (well, I said it in Korean). And then he texted me that I looked pretty (which was totally cheating because his wrote it an a language so obscure, it's not on google translate. so i had to ask his cousin for help) 

So, it seems things are promising. No? 

Mr. Lowe really is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. And after everything I've been through the past four years (almost engaged, cheated on, mission, surgery twice), I just want to date a nice boy. 

Maybe there's hope. 

I guess there's Provo to find out. But I'm not holding my breath. 

xoxo
-the Romantic 

4 comments:

An (Almost) Goodbye

8/20/2012 The Charmer 4 Comments

Well, I am no longer a Provo-ite.

I've left the wonderful land of Provo, not sure when and if I will return again. After all, I'm already a GRADUATE...I won't be returning from my mission and jumping right back into school. I loved my last four years at BYU! All of you who are starting school next week are so LUCKY! It sounds silly, but I really do miss college already.

However, I am excited to start my OWN adventure next week! Next Wednesday is when I report to the MTC!

I said goodbye to Mr. Director last week...or "see ya later," as he put it. I don't actually believe in waiting for missionaries, so I would never ask someone to wait for me. But it would be very nice if he was around in a year and a half. Right now, he seems fairly certain that he will be a single man in 18 months. I guess we'll just see what happens. :)

So I'll probably come on and give y'all a last "goodbye!" before I head out. But my time here on this blog is pretty much done. I've loved writing for all of you and sharing stories, advice, and my (at times) confused emotions. Thank you for the encouragement, the suggestions, and especially the emails when those of you have decided to share your own stories with me. I've loved getting to be a small part of your love lives!

And until next time, I just want to leave you with this little gem.
How I wish this kid was old enough to be my boyfriend.



kisses,
the charmer

4 comments:

well this has more plot twists than an episode of dawson's creek

8/16/2012 The Romantic 3 Comments


This past week has been an interesting one. My emotions have ranged from that of giddy with joy, to devastated beyond all reason (you think I'm being sarcastic here. I assure you, I am not). I've laughed. I've cried. I've laughed to keep from crying, and cried from so much laughing; a veritable rollar coaster indeed.

And now, I must give you updates on both Mr. Lowe and Mr. E. I hope that after the end of this post, long winded and dramatic though it may be, you dear readers will be able to offer me some of the golden advice that you normally do.

Last weekend was the big YSA conference in California. The only thing I had hoped for all week was the chance for one slow song with Mr. Lowe at the dance on Friday night. That was it. My only expectation. But as the night wore on, he didn't even come over to say hello. My friends insisted that he simply didn't see me. But I've seen He's Just Not That Into You. I know how these things work. I kept checking my phone, hoping he would text. But he never did. The night can be summed up into two events that happened near the close of the evening.

Event #1
I was walking (crutching rather) through a very crowded hallway with a dear friend, Bessie, who's just received her mission call. Mr. Lowe spotted her, coming the parallel direction, gave her a quick congratulatory hug about her mission call, and then smoothly went on his way. I stood there, mouth agape! My friends turned to me. “He didn't see you! He's too nice to just ignore you like that! The hallway is really crowded and you were standing behind us.” Despite their protestations, I could see that they were just as shocked as I was.
Event #2
As I crutched my way to the dance floor with my friends, I could see Mr. Lowe dancing out of the corner of my eye, surrounded by other people. Even though my heart was weeping, I was still determined to have fun. I would dance, crutches and all! So, I did. Until a slow song came on. And then that's when I saw Mr. Lowe embrace a petite blond girl with a hug that seemed to last at least five minutes (which is so strange because I'm sure the song only lasted about three). With all the teen angst of a Dawson's Creek episode, I stood there slowly swaying to the song, trying not to glance their direction as they danced.

One more song, and the lights were turned on. Horrified, I crutched my way to the exit with my friends. What had happened? Our date had been fun. He said he would take me on another. And even though our texting was minimal, it was always flirtatious.
I had almost reached the door when someone came running up behind me. There was Mr. Lowe, wanting to say hi. He was so genuine. Perhaps, just maybe, he really hadn't seen me at all that night. He enveloped me in another awkward crutch hug and told me that he would see me on Sunday.

As weak and dramatic as I seem on this blog, I would like to hope that I put on a brave face in public. Even if Mr. Lowe isn't interested in me at all, I thought, I will be mature about this. Maybe the pre-mission Romantic would have confronted him about it. But the new Romantic would be friendly and smiling. And no one would be the wiser that I had ever shed a tear for Mr. Lowe. (Except all of you, that is)

Sunday was pleasant. The conference was uplifting. Just what I needed. I was in good spirits the next time I saw Mr. Lowe. But the metal chairs were wearing on my Grandma hip, and just before the start of the fireside, I decided it would be a good idea to take a Percoset.

I'm afraid, dear readers, that from then on, my memory gets a little fuzzy. I think I flirted outrageously with more than a few men (Mr. Lowe being among them). Luckily, they all thought it was endearing.

Which brings me to the next plot twist. I arrived home that night in a drug induced stupor. Mr. E unfortunately caught me on Facebook at the time. I can't explain all the ends and outs of our conversation because frankly, it's quite boring. Suffice it to say dear readers, I didn't take your advice concerning him the first time, seriously enough. He must be deranged. That is the only explanation I can think of to condone this sort of behavior. He's constantly acting “the friend” one conversation. And then the next time I talk to him, he gets possessive and defensive about the idea of me dating other guys. “Helllllllo!” I want to say, “We've never even been out on one date! What makes you think you have the right to own me?” The last time we “spoke” (facebook chatted), he insisted that my reasoning behind not wanting to date him was just that I was scared; meaning I'm too scared to actually commit and be in a relationship.
Darn right I'm scared! Scared you have a shrine built in my honor in the back of your closet. Or that you might just pull out a meat cleaver to chop my body into tiny little pieces so you can keep me all to yourself. I haven't spoken to him since he said I was just too “scared” to date him. And now dear readers, here comes my question: Do you think my silence is getting my message across? Or do I need to say anything more? And heaven forbid I run into him on campus next week. I can only imagine what a nightmare that would be.

And now, back to Mr. Lowe:
He facebook chatted with me yesterday, to see if I'd gotten over the pain medication of Sunday. And somehow, he convinced me to finally translate the Korean I'd sent him a few days after I had surgery (where I told him he was very pogunhaeyo looking).
So I told him, “Cuddley.... it means cuddley”
To which he said, “You're so cute.”
And then there was once of these :)

Looks like we have Provo to figure out if you're right.” he then said.

So, in conclusion I may or not have a potential relationship on my hands with Mr. Lowe, and a serial killer who might be hiding in behind the shower curtain in my bathroom this very minute.

But I remain hopeful, and forever yours,

xoxo
-the Romantic

3 comments:

Online Dating 101

8/08/2012 The Closer 10 Comments

Confession: The Closer has tried online dating. 

Confession Part II: The Closer will continue to try online dating. 


Phew, glad we got the hard part out of the way. Yes. I date online.

Not exclusively, not excessively. Simply occasionally, if someone tickles my fancy.

The first time I tried online dating was almost two years ago. I had a friend that was raving about it, and thought to myself, "A site where I can filter by height? I need to try that". So I hopped online for my first go around. The first couple of dates I went on I was not very wise about. I handed out my number like candy and had the guys pick me up, just like a normal date. Thank goodness I didn't end up as a headline story on CNN with the anchors commenting on how such a seemingly bright young lady could have made such a foolish decision. Luckily, Heavenly Father had my back and I am still alive and well.

So you know how everyone thinks that only weirdos date online? Well, this is simply not true, although, I think some of the weirdest people date online. I kid you not, I once had a date with "that guy" who still lives in his mother's basement and is obsessed with science fiction. I have gotten much better at filtering since then.

I have yet to have seriously dated anyone I have met online, but I have met enough quality people to make me believe it's worth my while to keep it as one more avenue to meet people with. For those of you who have considered it, I say give it a try, and if you decide to give it a try, here are my helpful hints:


  1. Meet quickly. Exchange no more than 4-5 short messages, because trust me, your take on these fellows in person will tell you worlds more than 20 long emails ever will. 
  2. Meet at a public location. Don't tell them where you live, this is should be common sense. Food is a good reason to meet up. Protocol for online meet ups is different from a normal date, so I usually plan on paying my own way (although they always win points if they insist on paying). 
  3. If you can avoid exchanging phone numbers pre-date, I recommend this. That way, if you meet up and he's not someone you want to stay in contact with, he doesn't have a means to barrage you with communication. If it's going to messy to avoid giving your number, just be okay with the slight chance of having to block their number or change yours (this has never happened to me). 
  4. Have a commitment within an hour or two after the meetup, a good reason to have to take off. This keeps the meet up short and gives you both a chance to depart and evaluate what you thought of the other person. Not to mention giving you an out if it's completely awkward. 
  5. Once you have met up, try to get away from the online environment as quickly as you can. Hopefully he gets your number, and you get to move forward as if you never even met online, and it's not some odd thing that becomes a constant part of your blossoming courtship. 
  6. Do your best not to act like it's weird or unusual that you met online. I think guys feel more self conscious about it than girls do, so try not to accidentally rub salt in his potential wound. 
  7. Lastly, always tell someone where you are going and what you are doing. That way if anything were to go wrong (yeah, I know, I sound like your mother here), someone at least knows where you went. 


So there you have it. Seven handy hints to make online dating easy-peezy. Like I've said before, it's all a numbers game, so what's one more way to get your numbers up? Heck, I even have three friends that married someone they met online.

What about you? Have any of you tried dating online?

Yours Truly,

The Closer


10 comments:

7 Months of Plenty and 7 Months of Famine

8/05/2012 The Blue Stocking 3 Comments

Ever heard of a little thing called the seven years of plenty and the seven years of famine? I actually like to apply that biblical story to dating.

In the world of dating, I believe that we all go through stages of plenty and famine. But I like to believe that our stages only last 7 months {can you imagine 7 years without a dash of awkward time consuming experiences with the opposite sex? Well I can, it was called being a teenager…kidding! Well, sort of}
Well that was a fun tangent, but back to the story, I do believe I am three months into the famine stage. But I had a pretty good run there ya know? I did have seven months of giddy bliss, but alas famine has come just in time to consume my summer with its unquenchable hunger.

That being said, I am determined to not let this famine last the full 7 months. No, I intend to search for greener pastures even if that means the watering the work place. Yes, the work place. What could quite possible be the worst place to find someone to date. Why? Well for three reason.

1. Your coworkers somehow know every detail of your relationship.
2. You risk the chance of getting sick of that o so special boy of yours.
3. If you break-up, you get the pleasure of spending everyday with your ex.
But desperate times call for desperate measures
I am a secretary on campus and I don’t often mix company with the other department workers {nothing against them, I just don't see them that often}, but I have just so happened to have stumbled upon an intriguing TA. He is a tall dirty-blond with a personality that keeps me smiling hours after we talk.

We’ve spent this week casually running into each and flirting whenever possible. It’s really made me reconsider my ready-in-15-minutes look I’ve had all summer. But he’s going to have to do something a little more solid than provide flirting in the office to make this girl miss out on any amount of sleep!
Also, another interesting development in said old office is the fact that we are in dire need for another secretary. And yours truly got to be deeply involved in the hiring process.

That being said, how morally corrupt is it to hire a cute single guy? Is it really repugnant to want to share desk space with a tall, dark, witty, guy, huh?
Fine, it’s distasteful, and unfair, and a lot of other adjectives that all spell w r o n g.
So I shouldn’t hire him.
But what if he’s qualified? Wouldn’t it be just as bad not to hire someone simply because they are attractive?
Exactly.
So I should hire him….maybe…oh if only I could get my conscience to mind its own business.
I guess we’ll see how the cliché war between the angel and devil shoulder companions play out this week.
Cest La Vie,
The Bluestocking

3 comments:

Wooing is as wooing does.

8/03/2012 The Lady 2 Comments


My love life (like life? infatuation life?) is quickly becoming increasingly more complicated. You see, it generally helps to compartmentalize the men you are interested in. For example, Colonel Brandon is the man I devote my energies to at work. He is not something I worry about outside that realm. Mr. Rival is my long-distance phone affair. His path will never become mixed up with any of the others'. If the men I'm interested in remain in their respected spheres, I generally do not have any issues. I can woo each at will. (Note: I am not a professional "woo-er". As you can tell by my inability to actually find a husband). However, things have become a bit messy on my end. I have inadvertently caught four men from my ward in my net (this does not mean that these men are head over heels in love with me, just simply intrigued...?!?). Three of whom are roommates, and the best of friends. A major error on my end. Not to mention the fact that I have spent significant amounts of time with each of them in the past week...

Let us dissect them one by one.

1. Dobby

For some inexplicable reason, this guy just reminds me of an over-enthusiastic house-elf. And in case you happened to be wondering, I am not interested in house-elves. Dobby is sweet and energetic, and not at all a bad person to be around, but just like Dobby in the HP books and movies, I tend to tune out completely the moment he shows up. When Dobby begins to talk to me (which he does incessantly) about whatever it is he talks about (because I really don't know what he talks about), I find myself daydreaming about what I will cook for dinner or how I should train to become an Olympic gymnast or swimmer or a team rower. The other interesting thing about Dobby in HP is that anytime he popped round, something dangerous/awkward happened to Harry. The same is true for this human form of Dobby. He just follows me about like a pet leaving a trail of awkward moments behind him.

2. The Preacher

I have only briefly mentioned The Preacher once because I thought that it was impossible for any issues to arise. As I mentioned before, The Preacher is a great great guy. Exceptional even. He has some quirks, but who doesn't? The problem is that I can sense his mounting attachment to me. And it is oh so flattering, but the problem is, I am not attracted to him. There is just something there that does not and cannot mesh. Although I did have the mother of all awkward moments with him just last Sunday at ward choir practice. You see, I have become accustomed to receiving hugs from guys quite frequently. It is just something that happens in my life. Whether I enjoy it or not is a different topic entirely. The most frequent of these hugs is the side hug. Ugh. I hate side hugs, but I suppose it would just be rude to reject them.

So there I was after choir, chatting with some fellow choir members when The Preacher came up to me. He extended his arm towards my shoulder and I thought to myself, "Ah, the dreaded side hug." So I lifted up my arm to return the hug, but just as I did so, The Preacher's hand stopped on my shoulder and gave it a gentle pat. He was giving me a pat on the back! That would have been just fine and dandy if I hadn't been expecting a side hug. So there we were, his hand on my shoulder and my hand awkwardly grasped on his elbow, as it had only made it that far before The Preacher began to pat. Only to continue to swim about in the pool of awkwardness that we had fallen into, The Preacher kept his hand on my shoulder the entire time we were talking, and so I (in a complete loss as to what I should do) kept my arm on his elbow in this horribly unrefined arm wrestle. How is that for elbow touching?

3. Lord Byron

At least once in every girl's life, she meets a man who creates utter chaos in her life. She finds herself to be attracted to this man for no reason at all other than the fact that she just wants to make out with him. (Pardon my French). That my friends, is Lord Byron. He's just that guy that is unattainable and forbidden. But the bad news for me is that Lord Byron and I are increasingly becoming better and better friends. He is excellent company and the more time I spend with him, the better he seems to become. Not only is he make out worthy, but he's just a remarkable human being. But in two weeks, his lordship will become even more unattainable as he is moving to a distant land to have adventures of all sorts. I would not be surprised if he became involved in some sort of revolutionary outrage and had a wonderfully tragic love affair with an exotic beauty and then somehow died of something surprisingly ordinary such as a violent cold.

4. Clive

Oh, Clive. To me, we are suited for each other so perfectly, I am still confused as to why we haven't already been married for several years. We're so similar in tastes, pursuits, and temperament that I am sure we could be one of those truly great couples that you admire because they are just that: great. But Clive sort of does what he will and cannot be forced into anything. He just does not date. (And yes, he likes girls). I am almost 96.3278% certain that I was his first and only date this entire year. What makes Clive confusing to me is his spontaneous bouts of flirtatious energy. Me being a fairly consistent flirt-er, I am always frustrated when men flirt with me one day and not the next. Shouldn't we just flirt with each other 24/7? On Sunday last, Clive's burst of flirtation was so strong it was akin to a nuclear explosive. (He had been repressing it for a while). The result of which ended in a somewhat indecent wrestling match between him and myself. Reckless abandon. Reckless, reckless, reckless. I am certain that if I could have several more years to slowly woo Clive, things would work out. Unfortunately, Clive leaves for Anonymous Ivy League School next week. Oh, woe is me!


I must have a disease. This is just out of hand.

Con Amor,
The Lady

2 comments:

i feel confused

8/02/2012 The Romantic 2 Comments

once again, i am blogging from a phone. so i aplogize for the lack of apostraphes, exclamation points, and other useful punctuation marks.
my older brother tells me i need to stop worrying and go with the flow. i guess im just used to things moving at provo speed. the last thing i heard from mr lowe with any enthusiasm to it was our after date text. since then, i noticed a facebook status where he set up a date with another counselor. maybe i would feel better if she was a counselor i really respected. but shes a little bit silly.
i feel confused. and sad. like sad enough to cry about  it sad.... that could be just the monthly timing of it all though.

the first boy to give me butterflies  since ive been home and it appears that he is not as interested as i thought he was.

its not like i am searching for mr perfect here. i just  need a best friend

xoxo
the romantic

2 comments: