Aimless Chatters

6/15/2011 The Charmer 1 Comments

There is a curious type of boy running around Provo.
I call these boys "Aimless Chatters."

To illustrate, I'll give you a recent example from my own life.

Back in March, I met this guy at a dinner party hosted by a mutual friend. We probably exchanged at most 50 words, and seeing as I was still with the Ex (who was also in attendance) I didn't pay too much attention the guy. I didn't even remember him or his name when he Facebooked me at the end of April with the whole "Hey, remember me? We met at such-and-such!" message. So I added him (slightly reluctantly, might I add, since I really don't like adding people I hardly know).

Almost immediately he popped up on Facebook chat and we proceeded to have a semi-uninteresting conversation for 20 minutes or so.

Now, these unfocused Facebook conversations continued. It seemed like every time I got onto Facebook, he'd pop up and talk to me about class, or the weather, or the Friday song.

But that was it. He never asked for my number, he never invited me to hang out; to be honest, he never said much of anything.

Okay, first off, let me clarify something. I'm not saying that the only reason boys should talk to me is because they're interested in asking me out. Frankly, I'd prefer it if more guys actually were interested in just being my friend rather than pursuing me romantically. But the truth is that usually when guys I've only met once or twice Facebook with me the whole "Hey, remember me?", their intent is to get my number. And they usually accomplish this within one or two Facebook chats.

But I'd had at least 10 conversations with Mr. Chatty, and still nothing. Maybe he's only interested in being e-friends...? Which is not super attractive to me, let me point out.

A similar situation actually happened to me my freshman year. I'd met this boy David once at a movie party and when we both came to BYU, he decided he would establish a "friendship" by chatting online with me every day. Months later, he eventually asked for my number...but only so he could send me intermittent texts throughout the day. Never once did he ask me on a date (although I did go on a date with one of his roommates, oddly enough).

I wondered if my relationship with Mr. Chatty would follow a similar pattern...chatting for months but no mention of a date.
And then, the kicker.
I get an email from our mutual friend (the one who hosted the dinner) that says...

Hey! I don't know if you'd be interested, but I'm doing this double date next week, and I'm trying to set up my friend. I think you might remember him-- he was at the dinner party I had a few months ago-- Mr. Chatty? Would you be interested in coming? I thought it would be fun if you came.

Oh, hmm, what an odd coincidence. You just HAPPENED to think of me for your friend Mr. Chatty. I'm sure he had nothing to do with this at all.
So now I have a date on Saturday with an Aimless Chatter who I've only talked to online. And I know that this particular Chatter gets his friends to set up dates for him.
Now, this wouldn't be such a problem if I actually hadn't talked to him since March, and it really was a blind date set up by my friend.
But since he's been talking to me for 6ish weeks now and has had ample opportunity to ask for my number, I am not impressed.

Please, gentlemen of Provo, just ask girls on dates yourself.

The Charmer

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Heidi said...

Personally I think that should go for men in general, not just in Provo. But on the other hand, being a girl who has asked a guy out before, I can also say that I understand that it is not always so easy for them.