The Return of the James Part II

1/11/2015 The Blue Stocking 4 Comments

After our first “hang out” James was up to his antics once more. And that means ignoring me at church. And not in a oh-I-didn’t-see-you kind of way, but a we-made-eye-contact-and-he-left-the-room way. But once church was over he called me to talk for a couple of hours and hang out.

This is so dang weird. The more I know him the more I realize he is very shy. Veeeery shy. Which is shocking because he’s so handsome. I know I know, good looks are not a direct link to confidence, but it has been known to help.
The week of Thanksgiving we planned on a date for that Saturday. Everyday leading up to it James hinted at seeing each other sooner. I don’t have time for hints. If you want to see me, make it happen. I can’t explain why I’m so snarky about this. Probably because I know me and if a guy gives me the opportunity to bail I’ll take it. Chicken at heart people.

That Saturday we went book shopping and took a stroll around a lake. We talked and laughed and joked about throwing each other in the lake, but we never actually discussed anything significant. No, that would require divulging any information of importance and I was still not “trustworthy” enough for that. Finally, I just went off about how his not talking about himself made it hard for me to get to know him. He said that he wanted things to come up more organically and I was being controlling. I mistakenly asked him to further evaluate my personality and he said I also had the tendency to be manipulative.

There we have it folks, I’m controlling and manipulative.

And that’s when I told him to watch himself or he might end up stabbed and abandoned in a ditch somewhere. And yet, the date continued on. I can’t explain it. We were teasing, but were we? Is this healthy?

And more importantly, is it manipulative to try and get someone to tell you what their most embarrassing moment was?

The week that followed this date I didn’t know how to feel. In fact, no feelings were felt when I got home that night. I was empty. Which meant I would now avoid him until I figured out if this was something I wanted in my life.

That week James kept asking where I was and making tentative plans while I sidestepped them all. I’m pretty sure I broke him because he stopped texting me on Thursday. By Saturday I believed things were over and cautiously went to the Ward Christmas party. Initially we avoided each other, but towards the end of the night James did something shocking. He approached me in public. IN PUBLIC. This is what progress looks like. We talked for a couple minutes while the room around us was dissembled and readied for church the following Sunday.  

After our ward party I went to an even larger party which included hundreds of fellow singles. While there I spotted James in the crowd so I made room for him at my table. He walked up to me…and then walked by me. The rest of the night we kept passing each other and not one word was spoken. I was livid. LIVID.

Sunday was no different. For some reason this made me want to be around him more. How does that work? Is it true that we want what we don’t have and not having James for the weekend had driven me right back to him?

Sunday night James texted a classic text that has been sent and read since texting had come to be “we need to talk”.

So he called me to say he needed to spend more time with me or this would all be a waste of time. He had a point. I tended to let my schedule push him out of my daily plans. I added that he needed to acknowledge my existence in public. He agreed. With that convo over we continued chatting until we got into our next argument over Harry Potter and hiking. He refused to read the best series ever penned and I refused to risk my life stumbling up a mountain. We finally struck a bargain that if he agreed to make his life better I would put mine in his hands.

Our conversation went on for hours and even though it was devoid of substance it still was quite enjoyable.

-The Bluestocking

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Anonymous said...

Gurl, move on. He's just not that into you.

Anonymous said...

i kinda have to agree with the above comment. that, and he doesnt really seem your type.

Anonymous said...

But if he's not into her, why does he keep asking her out? I don't get this guy.

Emily said...

I feel like a he has a lot of red flags. He won't talk about himself because he doesn't trust you but he asks you all sorts of questions about you. When you mention your concern he turns it back on you by calling you controlling and manipulative. Then he ignores you in public. It's just a lot of weird.