What are YOUR Dealbreakers? Be a Guest Blogger on The Anti-Austen!

5/06/2014 The Charmer 1 Comments

I realize I'm posting a lot recently, but it's primarily because I'm leaving in 3 weeks to be an EFY counselor and I know I won't be doing a lot of posting while I'm chasing around teenagers. And besides, being done with school AND a recently returned missionary currently living at home, I don't have a ton of real responsibility or term papers to take up all of my spare time.

I was thinking a lot about some of the responses to my last post, especially those who asked about how picky we should be in selecting our future spouses.
If you didn't read the comments, here's how the conversation went:

Sarah was giving some advice to how to overcome the marriage fears...

I left my heart and mind open to the possibility without over thinking it or thinking about it too little (if that makes sense). I knew what I wanted in a guy but left myself open to the fact that no one would be prince charming. After all, I was utterly imperfect, so a perfect guy would just make me feel lame. No bueno.

As for my two cents on the stereotypical non married slash having a hard time getting married single person... Well often they're too picky (you aren't perfect so don't expect someone else to be).

An anonymous yet thoughtful reader commented back...

I have a question. I often hear about how we shouldn't be picky like Sarah mentioned above. I know that I can't expect some perfect guy to come out of nowhere and sweep me off my feet, but I am wondering what I should/shouldn't be picky about... I mean, I don't think I have unrealistic expectations, but then again, doesn't everyone? What types of things should I be willing to compromise and what types of things should be deal breakers? I know that a lot of it is based on personal preference, but I just want to know how I can be realistic with my expectations.

MaleMormonMind mentioned that he knows quite a few certifiably incredible, yet unmarried guys and attributes their single status to the fact that "They are super picky. If you are that driven and successful, you are not going to settle just for anyone. They all want and expect very attractive, smart, spiritual, interesting girls."

As I pondered these comments, I realized

a) I am not sure I am qualified to write a post on the subject of pickiness because I think I may be one of those overly picky ones [at one point in time, bullet point #36 on my "ideal husband" list was that he needed to be able to dance the foxtrot. don't worry, it has since been crossed out]
and
b) This meant an EXCELLENT opportunity for a guest post.

So, here's my proposal.

I want to hear it from you...what's the balance between being too picky and holding out for the guy or gal of your dreams? What sort of qualities do you think should be taken into consideration? What are acceptable dealbreakers? Write us a post and either email me at xoxo.the.charmer[at]gmail.com or share a link to your post in the comments. The post that I think is wittiest and/or most helpful will get featured on the blog. [And who knows, I may choose 2 or 3 to feature if I can't make up my mind] Be creative! Share a story, share your own personal "perfect spouse" list, whatever you think best addresses the topic.
****Please send in your posts by Sunday, May 10. *****

Need some inspiration?



ALSO, wouldn't you know it, apparently the idea of writing about dealbreakers has been floating around the cosmos and has been infiltrating the minds of dating bloggers everywhere. I began formulating the idea for this post over the weekend and BAM!, on Monday morning I stumbled upon a post by Zack Oates on this exact topic. It's definitely worth a read. In fact, if he hadn't already posted it on his own blog, it would have made a fabulous entry for our guest posting contest. ;)

I'm excited to hear what you come up with!
xoxo,
The Charmer