Like a Band-aid

4/26/2011 The Romantic 1 Comments

In the past, my break ups (which have only been with two boys, but multiple times with both) involve long drawn out conversations with tears from both parties. We would both sob as we talked about how much we loved it each other. And after, I usually lay absolutely prostrate in my bed, devastated because I've just lost my best friend.

But this was different. Quite different.

Mr. Ute knew something was up. So he drove down last night, walked into my new apartment, and the conversation went a little something like this:

(Super long pause before I can muster the courage to say anything)

Me: You are so great..... but I just don't think this is working out for me.

Him: Ok.

Me: I hate that I asked you to drive all the way here just to be broken up with, but I felt like you deserved more than a phone call.

Him: I'm sorry if it was something I didn't do right.

Me: No, no. It's nothing like that. You've been perfect.

Him: (sheepishly) It's because I'm so far away?

Me: (sheepishly back) Yeah, that's one of the reasons.

Him: Well, I'll talk to you later.

He gave me a hug and then promptly walked out the door.

Literally, the entire conversation lasted two minutes. Literally. Which was good, because he looked so sad, which only made me sad. So I almost started crying. Which would have made things even more difficult.

It was quick. I guess break-ups are like a band-aid. It hurts less if you rip it off faster.

And then I moped. Called my roomies who moved for the summer and talked to them all about my feelings. I know we aren't right for each other. But it still makes me sad that I won't see him anymore.

But then the EQP and his roomie (who are some of my favorite people in the ward) were going around to invite everyone to watch Tangled at the dollar theater.

So I went.
There was one boy who made sure he sat by me. He seemed nice. We chatted. Then he told me I looked good in my glasses. Then I giggled awkwardly and said thanks.... I was uncomfortable.

After we got out of the movie, I had a text from Mr. Ute.

"You know I'm not mad at you right?"

"I know. I'm just worried about you being sad. You really are so amazing. I'm just going through a lot emotionally, and I don't feel like I can be a very good girl friend."

We texted a little bit more. But that's the jest of it all.

Please don't think I'm heartless. I hate breaking up with boys. But it's better to do it now before we both get really hurt.

yours truly,
the Romantic

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Kelli said...

During my two breakups with the same boy, I also found myself doing a lot of sobbing and prostrate lying. I'm afraid I'm a little too dramatic to get those types of things over quickly.