You Could Be a Model for Puppy Chow

3/24/2010 The Virgin 0 Comments

I met Bandanna Boy at concert for a local band. I was interested in his friend, not him. So when I went up to talk to the kid I assumed that the friend would come up and join our conversation just as he had at Muse. I was mistaken. After a gracious compliment about my dimples, Bandanna Boy asked for my number. "Why not?" I thought. The kid was nice, and maybe something could happen, but only if he took off that ridiculous bandanna that made him look more like an Australian shepherd than a Mr. Willoughby. We exchanged digits and that was the end of the night.

He called me a week later (and asked if I remembered him... Um... I got your number too, so yeah, I remember you. This is Provo for goodness sakes, I wasn't inebriated.) A date was set up for later the next week.

As far as dates go it wasn't horrid, but I wasn't interested in going out with this kid again. Here's why:
1. Fido bandanna tied securely around his neck. It reminds me of that creepy story you would tell as a kid about the girl with the ribbon around her neck.
2. Felt some need to impress me constantly. Please do not brag about the $8,000  water purifier your parents installed in your home. If there is anything Austen readers adore and swoon over it is a modest man.
3. I could not get a word in with this kid. Sometimes I like to talk too, and I may actually have something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation.
4. Don't ask me how much I weigh. Seriously. Your mother would be ashamed.

Experiences like this make me wonder what goes in the heads of the male sex that would lead us to think this is appealing.