You Could Be a Model for Puppy Chow

3/24/2010 The Virgin 0 Comments

I met Bandanna Boy at concert for a local band. I was interested in his friend, not him. So when I went up to talk to the kid I assumed that the friend would come up and join our conversation just as he had at Muse. I was mistaken. After a gracious compliment about my dimples, Bandanna Boy asked for my number. "Why not?" I thought. The kid was nice, and maybe something could happen, but only if he took off that ridiculous bandanna that made him look more like an Australian shepherd than a Mr. Willoughby. We exchanged digits and that was the end of the night.

He called me a week later (and asked if I remembered him... Um... I got your number too, so yeah, I remember you. This is Provo for goodness sakes, I wasn't inebriated.) A date was set up for later the next week.

As far as dates go it wasn't horrid, but I wasn't interested in going out with this kid again. Here's why:
1. Fido bandanna tied securely around his neck. It reminds me of that creepy story you would tell as a kid about the girl with the ribbon around her neck.
2. Felt some need to impress me constantly. Please do not brag about the $8,000  water purifier your parents installed in your home. If there is anything Austen readers adore and swoon over it is a modest man.
3. I could not get a word in with this kid. Sometimes I like to talk too, and I may actually have something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation.
4. Don't ask me how much I weigh. Seriously. Your mother would be ashamed.

Experiences like this make me wonder what goes in the heads of the male sex that would lead us to think this is appealing.
The Virgin

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