Mr Confidence

3/23/2010 the heart breaker 1 Comments

So to begin I suppose we will start with one of my favorite first date stories.

This takes place my first year living in Provo, I was young, naïve, and well, excited about the idea of dating “mature college boys” ( now being a little more experienced I have come to the realization that that statement is indeed, an oxymoron. Boys NEVER grow up.) I meet Mister Confidence in my American heritage lab. He was handsome, charming and well, when you notice the 4 other girls in the class drooling over him as well you are reaffirmed in your conviction that yes, he is indeed, the cute boy of the class (ladies, you can not deny you are aware of who that is in every class you attend).

The Meeting:

The next class period I was honored that Mr. Confidence sat right next to me… my heart skips a few beats…. my cheeks quickly turn pink . He asks me a question about the class I answer politely and after quite a bit of small talk he asks me out on a date. I was thrilled.

The Date:

California Pizza Kitchen was the place.

Menus are delivered to the table, he decides we are going to play a game. I love games, I love spontaneity, so far so good. Then he tells me we are going to choose dinners for each other so we have to give a few rules of things we like or don’t like. I tell him I don’t really like meat that much, and I love salads without a lot of dressing ( I thought I was pretty darn specific) . He tells me he loves pasta and chicken and white sauce. (he was specific enough). The waitress comes, I order him, pasta with white sauce and chicken, it was really really difficult making that decision (sarcasm). He orders for me… are you ready? A Thai chicken Pizza??? Really??

For rest of our WONDERFUL meal, I learned all about Mr. Confidence, his likes his dislikes, his family, and more than I ever cared to know about his HIGH SCHOOL football career. I think I may have interjected a grand total of 20 words throughout dinner. (Note to the men of Provo, DO NOT tell us about your high school glory days)

Post Dinner:

A stroll through University Mall, he tries to hold my hand: BIG no no.

1st date: Don’t hold my hand ESPECIALLY in Public

He calls me hunny: I am NOT your hunny, nor will I ever be your hunny after this date. I explain I am really tired and have a lot of studying to get done.

The goodbye:

He walks me to my car (oh yes, I drove myself, he said he hates trying to follow directions when he doesn’t know where he’s going so I should drive myself??)

I unlock the car a few times to give him the hint I’m ready to leave, I’m done listening, and what does he do, goes in for the kiss, my back against my car door, I turn my head and he hits half lip half face, I was not prepared for this.

Post Date:

Here is my favorite part of the Mr. Confidence story.

Most guys realize when dates don’t go that well. But Mr. Confidence is a very special breed of men here in Provo. He thought it went wonderfully. I show up in class, hide in the back praying he’s already in there. He’s not. The seats fill up quickly around me. He comes in, tells the guy sitting in front of me that I am his girl and he wants to sit by me. Loser in front happily moves. He turns around,” hey baby, how has your day been?” I freeze, and then say, “lets talk after class.” Now, I am as non-confrontational as it gets, UNTIL it comes to idiot boys with MASSIVE egos.

The Talk:

I tell him after class that I had a great time on the date,

BUT I am not looking for a relationship right now

And I am sure there are many other girls out there who would love to date him and he will find them

(okay a slight lie to protect his ego)

He says:

Are you seriously rejecting me right now?

I ask:

Have you never had anyone turn you down before?

Him:

THE END.

I beg you Mr. Darcy, if you are living in Provo, please come find me because my search is wearing me out!