All My Friends

4/27/2014 The Charmer 2 Comments

Those of you who have been on missions will probably agree with the slightly exaggerated claim I am about to make:
ALL MY FRIENDS GOT MARRIED WHILE I WAS GONE!

Yes, so it seemed. While I was in Florida, my best friend would occasionally keep me updated on who among our friends was dating, engaged, and married, often accompanied by photos. I was convinced that when I came home to Facebook, I wouldn't recognize anyone's last names and all that would be on my newsfeed were honeymoon pictures and ultrasounds.

I figured I would come home and feel a bit like this little guy....


For the most part, it was true! (Okay, not the DEAD part, the "all of my friends are married" part.) There are still girls that pop up on my newsfeed with last names I don't recognize. There definitely are a lot of wedding dress pictures and new-mommy blog posts. But the more I started re-connecting with people, the more I was surprised by just how many of my friends weren't married. Especially because a lot of them are REALLY FANTASTIC people.

For example:

  • My charming friend Ace (whoa, Anti-Austen throwback!! I really had to dig to find this post)
  • The Ex (not to be confused with Mr. Director, who was promptly married after my departure)
  • The fabulous writers of this blog!
  • Matt Meese (Studio C fans, anyone?)
  • Zack Oates, fellow dating/relationship blogger and overall stud
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt....[oh wait....not relevant]
Of course, the list goes on. I look at some of the girls I've known since my freshman year and just think, Wow, she is AMAZING. I wonder why she's still single? Obviously, it's none of my business and frankly, I don't blame them. The idea of being married still kind of freaks me out and now that I can't just date people and use the "I'm-going-on-a-mission" safety net, the world of dating has gotten a little more frightening. Even though right now I am determined to just date people for fun and to get to know them, I can't help but turn off the glaring sign at the back of my brain that says "YOU ARE NOW DATING TO GET MARRIED" every time I step into a restaurant with a man. 

But I'm curious....what are your thoughts? Why are so many amazing people avoiding tying the knot?
I have some of my own and I'm currently thinking up a post about it (it may mention "hanging out" vs. "dating," just to give you a sneak peek).

I've love to hear your take on the matter!

Love,
The Charmer

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2 comments:

not married - because the boys I love don't want to marry me, and I don't love the boys who do :( When does it work both ways?

And I just read the ace post! Where is he and can you marry him now? whatever happened with Ace? we need an update in another post!

Anonymous said...

I don't think that many people are consciously "avoiding tying the knot." Yes, some people are focusing on other things, and some people are afraid of commitment, but I think that most of the singles I know that have been in the dating pool for at least a couple of years are genuinely trying to get married. I lot of it is what Ashley said—we just haven't found someone who's interest level matches our own. I think luck and the right timing are major factors. Other than that, I think some people don't put as much time into dating as they could because, like you said, dating is scary and we don't see as measurable of results in dating as we do in work and school. There's my two cents. :)