"...a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife"

8/19/2013 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments

My plan to woo The Polynesian has worked better than, well, any wooing plan I’ve had in the past year. 

Two weeks ago: 

My friend and I were chattered away waiting for church to commence when he came in from the right bringing with him a strong scent of coconut and pineapple (only joking, but can you even imagine how magical that would be?). It took us about 10 seconds to realize gawking was most unbecoming. And we quietly settled back into our seats and gave each other the look women have been sharing for centuries.  

Luck have it, we stumbled into him on our way to Sunday School and it just so happened he needed directions to our class. We did our wardly duty and gave him a tour. I know I know, we’re very generous people.

Last week: 

I was running late to church which meant I had to slowly creak open the chapel door and dart to the nearest seat. Without trying I was one chair away from destiny/The Polynesian/my-future-husband…too far?

As I readjusted my skirt his eye caught mine as he glanced up from his hymn book. He smiled, scooted closer, and held the book out for both of us. He kept teasing me for not singing louder which only made me want to cease singing altogether (My voice is decent on a good day, but terrible on a flirty day). During the announcements we had a whole 6 minutes to sum up and spill out our life stories. Into minute two I realized he was far cooler than little ol me (which isn’t necessarily a difficult feat). After Sacrament we collected a few more get to know you minutes before we were engulfed by a swarm of girls. 

This week I realized how out of my league I was:

After sacrament I made my way to the ladies room to assess the frizz to hair ratio when I ran into him. He suggested we walk around a bit and catch up and I was in no position to turn down such an offer. We circled the classrooms and wardies for 30 minutes talking about our lives and goals. I conveniently left out my desire to have caramel colored children…

When I mentioned my job he jokingly mentioned he was in the market for a sugar mama, to which I responded that would just not do since I was strictly a sugar daddy kind of lady. Good thing he’s in med school. 

We finally made our way to Sunday School where he leaned over and asked if I had facebook. Of course. He fiddled with his phone and 5 seconds later my phone lit up with a fbook friendship request from him. Huzzah! No facebook stalking he said slyly. I figured that comment bought me at least an hour to log on and delete the pictures of me dressed up as Hermione at not one but two Harry Potter movie premiers. 

I swear I’m normal.

Kidding, normal is overrated and I make a very convincing Hermione. It would be cruel to deny the world of my imitation, and by world I mean everyone who isn’t the very attractive poly in my ward.

I can’t express enough how important it is to slowly emerge your crushes into your crazy. 

-The Bluestocking

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Anonymous said...

Love! Cannot wait to hear more! PS He would be incredibly lucky to have you I'm sure! Coolness or non...coolness.

Emilee said...


I just found this blog and you spoke to my soul. I'm pretty sure we are dating twins separated at birth. I currently have my eye on an attractive Polynesian and have decided that my goal in life is to have beautiful caramel children (because all half polys get those good looking genes).

I wish you the best of luck with this Polynesian. And dressing up as any Harry Potter character for a midnight release is the greatest moment of any lifetime (I was Tonks, a quidditch player, and others I can't seem to recall) If he can't accept that part of you then he doesn't deserve all of you.