Speed Dating

2/25/2013 The Blue Stocking 4 Comments

I went speed dating. Just let that sink in.

Speed dating and me, the girl who despises meet and greets and avoids awkwardness at all time. A true feat when you realize I pull awkwardness towards me.

I failed girls.

We were supposed to put a note in every guy’s envelope and if we liked him we wrote our number and if we didn't we gave them a little message. They did this so it wouldn't hurt the guy’s feelings when they didn't receive a little note. And the guys pretended like they didn't know the difference between a “You're a sweet guy" and a 1-800-ura-hoti.

So I wrote down and gave out false numbers. I know. I'm the worst. I couldn't take it. Those poor guys just looking at me. Aghhh. I realize now that when they call a fake number they will probably feel worse. Or more likely just confused. Who gives out anonymous fake numbers? A lunatic for sure. But in that moment, I didn't know what else to do. I panicked.

AND what's even funnier is the guys I did give my digits too, I forgot to include my name HA. These shenanigans are not Bluestocking proof.

The last guy I talked to was so sweet, but I was done for the night. As I got up, I saw him. The green-eyed man. He wasn't classically handsome, but dear heavens he was attractive. I said hi, he smiled, I sat down. Then he moved forward, grabbed the legs of my chair and pulled me towards him "I wanna be able to hear you" he said. I blessed the loud rumble that filled that gym. He leaned in, so I leaned in. With about three inches between us we had a charming two minute conversation. I remember laughing. And then the bell ringed and another girl pushed me out of my seat.

I'm sure that green-eyed man received many a phone number that night and he will probably never call me. And honestly I'm fine keeping him as a mysterious figure in my memories. Or you know, kissing his face. Whatever, either one's good...

Afterwards I received an interesting text from a boy saying he got my number but he didn't know who I was. The feeling was mutual. After giving away so many fake numbers I could hardly remember the guys I gave my real number to. I finally had to ask who he was. His response was "oh I bet you've been on the phone with lots of attractive guys all night"

I gave him a ";)" and a "sure" because admitting that I was currently in my pj's downing a half-gallon of ice cream while watching The Bachelor made me seem less than desirable.

Then he asked for my address because he wanted to meet up with me, which sent me into a fury as I tried to reapply the mascara I had been picking off during another one of Tiara-ble's tirades.

We ended up doing some light shopping at Smiths while he went on and on about how there wasn't a lot of attractive girls at the activity (eye-roll). Though he did make sure to slip in that he obviously thought I was attractive or else we wouldn't have met up. I responded with "Lucky me..." He thought I was being flirty. Which means he took it the wrong way.

He asked me out for this weekend. He seems like an ok guy. I mean how can you not like someone who loves the same soundtracks as you? Meh, we'll see. I'll give him a date.

-The Bluestocking

P.S If speed dating worked Jane would have written a witty/charming love story about it. And don't try to argue the whole "speed dating is a modern technique." It doesn't work on me. I'm illogical. 

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Anonymous said...

Don't worry about giving a fake number. It happened all of the time in the mission. They're used to that kind of rejection.

Anonymous said...

I wish instead of calling it speed dating they would call it how people approach it and refer to it as The Art of Conversation - A Variation on the Art of War by Sun Tzu, but it is to much work to fit it on a flyer.

Mr. Bennett

Anonymous said...

You guys need to post more often!

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