A spot of trouble.

7/04/2013 The Lady 8 Comments

Dear Readers, 
Guess who has triumphantly returned from the land of Jane Austen?! {Me. It's me}. Though I did not meet the Misters Darcy, Brandon, Wentworth, Knightley, Tilney, et cetera, I am fully convinced that "[England] is the place to find husbands". Truly. American men seem utterly disenchanting at the moment. Though with a fickle heart such as mine, I am sure that sentiment will not last long. 

Currently, my parents have graciously allowed me to set up camp in their home until I start grad school in the fall. This is ever so kind of my dear, sweet parents, but before I returned from England I do not think that I thought this through very well. Please do not misunderstand, I love my parents and I love my home, but I somehow forgot that there are literally no eligible men in my town. How could I have forgotten? There were hardly any eligible men here when I was going to high school. And as far as I can tell {from a short survey}, my local singles ward is . . . lacking. 

That is the beginning of my spot of trouble. Because of my boredom, I once again turned to Tinder. {Note to self: Resorting to shallow social media gimmicks that the general population uses to hook up with one another is not okay for a naive, nice, flirt such as yourself}. And as is meant to happen on Tinder, a man began chatting with me, and before I knew it I had given him my cell number {it was late, and I obviously wasn't thinking clearly okay!}, and now he will not stop texting me. He's even attempted to call me several times to read me his poetry and tell me jokes {I always have an excuse handy for not answering}. This wouldn't be so bad if I found him even remotely interesting, which I do not by the way. He uses an excessive amount of smiley faces and "ha ha"s and "lol"s in his texts, and I always have to explain my jokes to him. If you haven't heard before, jokes just are not funny if they have to be explained. So how does one say kindly, "Hey dude, I apologize for leading you on by liking you on Tinder, and I also apologize for using you as a cure for my boredom. You're nice, but please stop texting me." 

I know I got myself into this situation, but can't someone please get me out?!

Con Amor, 
The Lady

P.S. I deleted Tinder.

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Anonymous said...

One option is to work into your conversation what a good friend they are and how they remind you of a cousin/brother and then you are free to share your thoughts and ask their advise about dates you are going on and men you are writing to and how things are progressing in your dating life. This should let him down gently and his puppy boredom should dissipate. Remember his dating options are just as limited and who would not want you as a friend or be excited that you showed interest. It sounds like he could use a friend that is willing to share dating tips on how to interact with women that is engaging and not alienating.

Mr. Bennett

Anonymous said...

An update!!! Finally! Welcome back Lady! I am ever so jealous of your travels and good luck getting rid of tinder guy. Just tell him you're not interested and to please stop texting you.

Anonymous said...

Your situation sounds remarkably like mine, minus the trip to England! I'm rather jealous. Did you have any fun encounters while you were there? I'd like to hear more about it!

On the subject of Tinder Man...maybe you should just be straight with him: 'Hey, it was great getting to know you, but unfortunately I feel that we just don't click very well.'

Anonymous said...

Hey whatever happened to Tinder Man you blogged about before leaving for Austenland?!

Anonymous said...

The attitude here seems terrible- Provo is full of eligible men, and is regularly highly ranked on national lists from non-mormon sources. It's hard most places to find a guy who isn't a douche and will commit to you before expected sex. In Provo guys REFUSE sex unless they're committed. Honestly, if the guys here aren't good enough for you, you're going to have a lonely life. Get off the cell phone screen and go ask a guy on campus out. Just Sayin.

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure the lady never said there are no eligible men in Provo, and I am also pretty sure she isn't living in Provo since in her previous post she said she is leaving Provo forever. I think you misunderstood a lot of what she was saying. Just sayin...

Anonymous said...

Ha! Love that you and your hilarious shenanigans are back on this side of the pond. Welcome home!

Anonymous said...

Blog isn't dead.

Not bad.