I've always been one of those girls...

12/12/2012 The Romantic 4 Comments

I really should be studying right now. Or writing that 10 page research paper that I've put off far too long. But my bed is just so comfy, and my little space heater is lulling me to sleep along with the strains of Christmas music(oh stop it Michael) floating out of my computer speakers. I figured my only option as a means of staying awake was to blog... Enjoy. 

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting at my work computer day dreaming about Korea. Specifically day dreaming about teaching English there after graduation. My mind began to fill with images faster than I could think them.

-the kpop concerts
-the clothes shopping
-the crazy hairstyle I could finally have after being freed from the honor code
-the food
-the food
-the food
-pal'ing around with mission friends
-the food
-the food

 And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. All these day dreams involved me as a single person. For the first time in my life, I wasn't feeling this overwhelming desire to just settle down and be married.

My inner voice piped up then, "You are only 23. 23 is young. You don't want to get married right now! What's the big ruuuush?"

Suddenly I was liberated! How freeing and utterly strange it felt. I've always been one of those girls who wants to get married.

This isn't to say that I've sworn off marriage completely (don't worry about telling me I'm the bane of every General Authorities' existence, my best friend already took care of that). I just don't crave it the way I used to. There are so many things I want to do and become! Maybe that's a selfish way to look at things, but here's why I think it might be ok.

In thinking about this new outlook on dating I realized something: Since I've been home from my mission, I've been forgetting to look at the men as my life as people. Instead, I'd been looking at them as future eternal companion applicants. I've been seeing the men I met as check lists: Good major? check. Second language skills? check. Good style? not exactly a check, but moldable.

And no one deserves to be looked at in that way.

So readers, this is the new me. A Romantic who is grateful for her single-hood, and not trying for anything more for a long while. Here's to people being people, and not check-lists!

-the Romantic

ps. with that being said, I think I have a date(the way he asked was a little ambiguous) to go see the midnight showing of The Hobbit tomorrow. But the new Romantic doesn't care if it's a date or not. Because either way, it's going to be a ton of fun. We're making shirts and everything.

You Might Also Like


Anonymous said...

Yay! And $5 says this new attitude leads you to marry a rockin', stylish, awesome Korean man :D Funny how things work that way, eh?

Marigold said...

BYU has taught me that if I don't love myself, nobody else will fill in for me. If that's the only lesson I needed to learn in coming to Utah for school against every single inclination in my soul 3 years ago, I would say it was worth it.

And guess what! I love myself. Really.

And guess again! I just got my first boyfriend in 2 years. It doesn't feel the same. He likes me because I love life and myself and Heavenly Father (disclaimer: not necessarily in that order) and because I am not perfect. He thinks I'm beautiful because I know I am. He wants to hang out with me because when we're together, there is light and laughter and peace and FUN!

It feels different than I ever thought, but I sure do like this way of liking.

Everyone's story is a little different. Aren't we glad Miss Austen didn't simply publish the same story with different names seven times?

And I'm off my soap box. But life is beautiful ladies. Give it a little trust.

Merry Christmas.

I am in love with this post. Thanks for helping people to realize that although marriage is important, spending some time developing yourself is especially so. I hope you enjoy every minute of your single adventures, and that one day, you'll find the man of your dreams.

P.S. The Hobbit? Awesome choice.

Anonymous said...

You do realize that now you have come to being okay with being single, you will be engaged within the year. It just happens that way.

I am glad for you! And Jealous. Can't wait to see the Hobbit myself.