Everything means something.
Some things are never really in the past. For Mr. Cowboy that is especially true. Despite the fact that the two of us have not been Facebook friends for quite a while now, he messages me every so often. A fact which will never cease to be a mystery to me. Just yesterday, Mr. Cowboy messaged me again sending me some dumb YouTube video that he said reminded him of yours truly. I thought to myself, "Lady, you can let Mr. Cowboy bother you until the end of your days, or you can act as though it isn't a big deal and you can be cordial." So in response, I made a sarcastic joke. Mr. Cowboy became defensive. I made a joke about his being defensive. He became even more defensive, then stormed off {virtually} never to be heard from again {at least for now}. Needless to say, we don't know each other anymore.
Now back to my roommate, Mary, and The Bearded Hobbit.
Last Saturday, Mary had invited The Bearded Hobbit and his roommate over for dinner. She pulled out all the stops. And I mean ALL the stops. She made Julia Child's boef bourguignon. Yes, the it-takes-several-hours-to-cook and several-cups-of-red-wine boef bourguignon. I was nervous that it was all too much. Most girls would just cook tacos or something. Boef bourguignon is a statement meal. It is a this-is-the-sort-of-food-I-would-cook-for-you-if-we-were-married sort of meal. But it all went off surprisingly well and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Until Sunday afternoon that is.
I had an interview with my bishop after our ward's meetings, and as I was only one in a long line of interviews, I sat in the foyer with Mary until it was my time. After a while I realized that Mary wasn't waiting for an interview with the bishop, but rather for something else entirely. She kept looking anxiously around the corner at the doors to the chapel, tapping her feet, and sighing exasperatingly. I knew she must be waiting for The Bearded Hobbit to get out of his ward, but I played it cool just to be sure. I asked her if she was waiting to talk to the bishop too, but she sighed again loudly, glancing at the chapel once more and confirmed my suspicions: "Just waiting for The Bearded Hobbit to get out of sacrament meeting." I joked about her really liking him, but she denied the claim, "Oh, we're just friends, and I don't want to rush into anything." Then she continued to wait for at least a half hour for The Bearded Hobbit to get out of his ward just to say "hi".
Call me crazy, but people who just want to be friends don't generally do these sorts of things. Right?
Con Amor,
The Lady
4 comments:
How does the Bearded Hobbit respond to these denied solicitations of affection?
So, I have absolutely no authority on the matter, but I'd like to propose that you are not really over Mr. Cowboy. you mention him a lot. From my perspective, getting over someone means that you can peacefully move on. Forgiving and forgetting, and that includes yourself. SO WHAT if you hurt Mr. Cowboy? He's obviously moved on, and you need to let yourself t move on too. I know it always seems easier just to hate them, but it feels better to be "friends" in a loose sense of the word. You don't need to start it off by sending each other Youtube videos (although he was most likely just trying to be polite after you refused to see him), you can start off small by just saying, "hi". You will feel more free if you no longer hold on to your past and keep condemning yourself for it. Mr. Cowboy sounds like he has moved past the relationship. By mentioning it all the time, and making it define you now, it sounds like you haven't moved on. I'm just saying. I could be totally wrong and be completely overstepping my reach, but I just want to help a fellow lady.
I disagree. I think it must be hard to move on from someone who continually messages you, is from your same town (and goes to all the same functions as you), and is such great friends with your family. How do you avoid and move on? I think you have moved on,(although I think he is putting you in a position to have to do it over and over again) and I think it's frustrating! While you have moved on, he has not, in spite of the fact he is married now. However, I do think a part of us stays with our first boyfriends, and perhaps with each boyfriend thereafter. I know that I still think about them even though they are all married now. But please note, I am a sentimental fool...seriously, a fool. Do I keep in contact with them? Nope, but that's because they have truly moved on and let me go. There is no trying to reach out and contact me and remain friends, and for that I am grateful. I feel like that would be overstepping bounds to contact me or me them. If they contacted me, I would have trouble ignoring them. But they don't try, so moving on for me is so much easier! I would never be the one to contact them. Lady, I think you are amazing and strong, and here's hoping that with time things get much easier, and that he will realize he really really has to let you go.
PS With the Mary thing...of course she likes him! Who does all that?! I don't even do that for guys I do like...maybe that's why I'm still single? ;)
On behalf of the women of student married wards all over Provo, I can attest: when you're married, I promise you will NEVER cook beef bourguignon for your husbands. Ever. Way too much effort! We eat tacos, too!
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