Seductive Salesmanship

3/24/2013 The Lady 3 Comments

I'm just a girl who can't say no. I am a people pleaser. This little trait got me into a pickle last night at the mall. My roommates, Emma and Charlotte, and I were meandering towards Victoria's Secret (for those wonderful lotions) when a sample of moisturizer was thrust into my face by a man at one of those vendor kiosks (the ones that everyone avoids like the plague). Emma made to grab at my arm and muttered something about avoiding eye contact (she's all too aware of my people-pleasing tendencies), but it was much too late to save me. I had been accosted by a pair of lovely blue-green eyes perfectly set in a swarthy face. A sultry accent lured me over to a cart, where my arm was massaged with luxuriant exfoliants and lotions made from the minerals of the Dead Sea. 

All the while, this Casanova stood a mere three inches from my person, staring unashamedly into my eyes as he gently caressed my skin and tempted me to buy his lotion with sickly sweet flattery. "I am from Israel, the Holy Land," he crooned. In my minds eye, I was reclining on a chaise longue in a magnificently billowing dress while he fed me grapes and massaged my arms and hands with his exotic wares"My name is (insert un-pronounceable name). It means 'spring', I am the spring." He sure was. Then he asked if I had a husband or a boyfriend, and acted completely flabbergasted by my negative answer. "I cannot believe that! You are so beautiful!" he exclaimed. I giggled like a school girl (oh, the shame of it) and stated that he was just trying to get me to buy his products. "I would never!" he was shocked. "I really like you and think you are beautiful." It took all my will power not to start making out with him. 

Unfortunately--or rather, fortunately--I came back to reality and was able to turn down they very attractive offer of his discounted lotion. Feeling a little light-headed, I rejoined Emma and Charlotte who mocked me mercilessly for my shameless flirting. Shameless though it may have been, I feel that I have filled my flirting quota for the remainder of the year. *le sigh*

Con Amor, 
The Lady

P.S. Would it be too obsessive to wander that direction
in the mall everyday? 

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3 comments:

Kailee said...

Oh my gosh, I know exactly what/who you're talking about. These men can be irresistible! And you are better than me, because I totally bought the lotion. It's a moment in my life that I'm not proud of hahaha. ;)

Anonymous said...

So... it's lotion... made with salt?

Anonymous said...

Loved this post! HAHAHA Speaking of foreigners, I tend to attract all the foreigners. East Indians, Egyptians, Nepalese (Nepolians?, Nepalians?), Latinos, Africans, African-Americans, etc....pretty much everything but a white man. And they come at me messaging me even on Facebook. You would think they would know the distance between us would cause quite a problem. I am the whitest of white women, practically clear, and I don't get it! Not that I think these men are bad, or couldn't be good matches, just what happened to all the white American boys who want a clear woman?! hahaha I should probably avoid the mall...