Cursed

3/25/2013 The Blue Stocking 6 Comments


I’m cursed. That’s right, cursed. 

I’ve joked about this fact for a while, but now I’m positive and have named the curse after myself. 



The Bluestocking Curse:

The uncanny ability to prevent marriage for all singles within patient's range including the patient themselves. Once patient is removed, all singles once affected by their bubble of singledom are released into a life of love and marriage. 



Now you’re probably all thinking “you’re at BYU! People are bound to get married; such is our life.”

Wrong.

People who I hang out with me on a day to day basis do not wed. I repeat. DO NOT WED. As soon as I leave the slid-show of their life BAM the wooing and winning of hearts begins. Let me lay down the facts to you get a real good picture of what I’ve been dealing with.

I lived in the same place for two full years and no one, NO ONE, in my complex got married. We joked about being cursed. Then one of us made it out, found a guy, and was engaged within a month.

We breathed a sigh of relief.

The curse wasn’t personal! It applied only to our complex. We continued to watch as former roommates moved out and quickly found mates.  It was eerie, but I think we all drew comfort from the fact our condition was situational.

So we gladly bore, what we felt like was, our brief singledom knowing that one day we too would join our married roommates. When I moved out last December I thought, neigh I knew, I would follow the path of those who walked before me.

..yeah, it’s not going so well, but guess how many of my old roommates have gotten engaged since I left? 

THREE!

Here's a more disturbing stat:
 
In the past month, four guys I’ve liked or who have professed love for me have gotten engaged. FOUR.

Mazel tov

This number does not include Bingley and Wickham who are both probably ring shopping at this very moment for the serious girlfriends they attached themselves to as soon as I was out of the picture. Ok probably not this exact moment. It’s actually really late. I should probably get to bed. Anyways, back to my point. 


What the devil is going on? I have come to the hard conclusion that these marriages have nothing to do with anything but me. I would lay down more stats, but things take a turn for the paranoid the more I get into this…

So there you have it folks. I’m cursed. 

-The Bluestocking

P.S. I've already come up with a plan to use this in my favor. I will simply attach myself to all my favorite people and then they'll never leave me mwahahahahahahah...this just got creepy didn't it? Nevermind, I take it back. I'll get a dog or something...

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6 comments:

Fashion said...

What we all need to know, is how one breaks such a curse? You are not the only one with the overwhelming "joy" of such a curse! Do we bring it upon ourselves, or is one born with (or is it thrust upon one)it is the question.

Perpetually single said...

That is pretty crazy. I'm sure we all have our own curse. Mine is having guy friends but never getting asked out. At this point, I just try to see how long I can go without a date. Except for summer and freshman year, my quota has been one per semester. I've managed without a date this semester though so I'm going on almost 6 months. Good thing homework keeps me busy.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the Lord telling you to look east of the Mississippi River? Go hang out at Nauvoo, Kirtland or Palmyra this summer. It may be bad advice but at least it's advice that could be filled with adventure :-D
Mr. Bennett

Anonymous said...

P.S. It may also require bathing in the Mississippi or Sesquehenna seven times.

Ah, if only all problems could be solved by simply going east of the Mississippi.

Its sounds like Good Luck Chuck, without the naughty parts. Not that I would ever watch that movie.