I hope you have all had a wonderful Thanksgiving devoid of questions like "where's your special someone," and "are you being too picky?" We all deserve at least one day off from those shenanigans. 

My Thanksgiving weekend has been odd indeed for it seems to have stirred up my ex’s with thoughts of “Blue’s not the worst option, maybe we should give it another go.” Perhaps the thoughts were brought on by their relatives ever questioning why they can't find a spouse. All I really know, is that desperation is in the air and they’re making their way down the list of girls they dated that are still single. And, as we all know, I am most definitely still single. The count of ex's that have reached out to me in the past two weeks is up to four and I dread what December will bring. Here’s the breakdown.

The RM: For those of you who have been with us for a while, perhaps you’ll remember the RM. The guy I met freshman year who thought it wise to spout his love for me to anyone and everyone who would listen. The same guy who asked me out the day he got off his mission and thought stalking was the equivalent of wooing. The RM and I have grown distant in our later years mostly due to the fact he got married. Earlier this month I got a text from him reminiscing over my letters I wrote him on his mission. Let it be known they were of the platonic variety. It seems the RM was going through a divorce and wanted to take me on a walk down memory lane.

I found it prevalent to stop texting him back.

Smitie: Ah yes Smittie. He was back. I really shouldn’t have been shocked. Just because he ignores me for months does not mean a date isn’t on the horizon. I blame myself mostly. I had avoided being upfront about my desire to never be alone with him again. This time when he asked me out I let him know I would like to remain just friends.

He never responded.  

Calvin: Ever since we dated last winter Calvin and I have remained close friends. A friendship I have valued and strived to maintain. Last week I was at dinner with several of my close guy friends when one of them, Trevor, asked if I had a boyfriend. When I said no Trevor proposed that we just get married. We teasingly planned our wedding of convenience. The next day Calvin asked if my pretend fiancé had taken me off the market. What I believed was simple bantering, turned out to be a date in the making and he has continued to ask me out since. Two other guys who were around for that dinner have since asked me out as well. I guess you truly can’t have guy friends.

James: I had given up on ever hearing from James again. After all he had spent the summer treating me like I was the shmutziest of all shmutzes. Which explains why I was taken aback to find a message on my phone asking me if we could end the awkwardness between us. A ceasefire if you will. Under the white flag, we’ve seemed to have picked up where we left off in March. We text every day and he calls me at night. To add to the fun that is the James situation, he actually dated my close friend in July. It did not end well.

The RM and Smitie has basically been taken care of, but I don’t know what to do about the Calvin/James situation. I feel terrible about things with Calvin. Have I been leading him on? Should I have kept my distance? But more than that what can I do now, surely this doesn’t mean it’s necessary to have “the talk” does it?? When it comes to James I’m at a loss. I don’t know. James persistently wants to know about me which is incredibly addicting. And he’s got that whole mysterious handsome stranger vibe to him.

What I really need is someone to take over and make all of my dating decisions for me. 

-The Bluestocking

September started with a bang. Hucy was over. Yes the romance of the century ended after only a month of lovin. Lucy Steele removed all traces of Henry’s existence on her FB wall and replaced him with a dramatic breakup post. Her wall then became a stream of inspiration quotes running all day every day. 

I really tried to not take pleasure from it. I really did.

To be honest, I spent the majority of August and September exploring different countries and visiting friends so the drama of the spring seemed distant. AND just in case you think me rather awful for treating Lucy so, I'm happy to report she has moved on and is currently in a serious relationship once more. Girl knows how to get things done. 

Ok back to me, other than the Hucy breakup September was defined by Grant. This was the month I decided I would not date Grant…and then I decided kissing his face would be oh so pleasant…and then I decided we should just be friends…and then I decided we would make a fantastic couple.   

September was also when I realized how fickle I could be.  

Finally, I jumped in. I accepted his invites and he found more reasons to see me. One of my favorite reasons involved my nightly dinner. Grant would ask what I was eating and then he would come by to try it.  This was normal enough except for the fact chocolate makes up 86% of my diet and he detests chocolate. The poor boy would come over to consume the thing he hates and I would watch knowing the pain it caused. 

And we were committed to this ridiculous ruse.

I don’t know if you caught this from that story, but neither of us had overtly expressed interested. There were no declarations of like; instead, we made nightly trips around the corner to curl up to The Office and talk into the late A.M.

I didn’t sleep for a month and I regretted nothing.

My main concern was even though I spent most of my nights talking with Grant we never went on a second date and any plans made were of the last minute variety. Which was rather confusing especially when situations like this would arise:

Grant was showing me something on his phone when a notification for Meetinghouse (a Mormon dating site) came up. He asked me if I had ever tried it and when I said no he responded, “you gotta get on it girl.”

In his defense, he could have just panicked, buuuuut guys who like you shouldn’t recommend dating sites to you, right? I mean, I’m not an expert, but it seems pretty basic to not pawn your crushes off to strangers.

-The Bluestocking

With the changing of leaves came the changing of men.

Sam: The first of the month Sam was packing to leave for law school and we had yet to talk about how this affected us. A week before school started we grabbed sketchy burritos and drove around town comparing our book collections. It seemed this would be another night of pleasantries devoid of reality.

After hours of debating the importance of fairy tales, we arrived at my house. I could feel us talking around the issue of his departure, but I dreaded pulling it up and I believe he did as well. Finally, it had gotten late and I, being the sort who needs as much sleep as possible, said farewell and opened my door to leave. His reply was, “Blue, I’m leaving.” I laughed at his dramatic exclamation, sat back in the car, and replied, “Sam, I know.” He explained that his leaving had made it hard to devote himself to us and while our summer had been fun, he didn’t see it going any further.  

It was truly a relief to hear that we were both feeling the same thing. Sam was a great guy, but he wasn’t the guy for me and I wasn’t the girl for him. What followed the easiest DTR in Bluestocking history was a hilarious exchange of dating stories. We laughed and teased and when he left I felt at peace.

Henry: The last time I saw Henry was right in the middle of his love affair with Lucy Steele. I had the great pleasure of walking late into Sunday school late only to realize Henry was teaching. The class silently turned to watch me stumble through the door.  In true Blue fashion I turned to the erect Henry and said “well are you going to teach or just stand there.” He laughed we continued to share pleasantries and I took a seat.

We made eye contact throughout the lesson and after he joined me for a catch up session. Now Henry and I are friends… and Lucy and I are keeping a friendly distance.

Grant: After our date in July there had been no tangible difference in our relationship, but something had shifted. I notice him more. I guess that’s a good thing? I couldn’t help but wish I had feelings about the situation, but ever since Henry I felt numb. Not hurt or broken, just icy and exhausted.

The thing is I should like Grant. Grant is one of the most genuine guys I’ve met. He’s the type of guy who owns his own house and decorates it with classy paintings of the temple. He’s the type of guy who watches How to Train Your Dragon and audible gasps “if anything happens to that dragon, so help me.” He’s the type of guy who composes a guitar solo so elegant and on point it makes you consider being a twity fan-girl. He’s the type of guy who asks and listens and the more I know about him the more I kick myself for not seeing him sooner.

Even knowing all of this I could feel myself holding back. Grant spent the month inviting me to his house and asking about my Friday night plans and I avoided it. All of it. 

I truly don't know what's wrong with me

-The Bluestocking

I’m back with stories to tell. It’s taken me a while to put the past months dating adventures to print, but get ready to vicariously live through my painful and awkward fall.

When we left off I was going on dates with Sam and he was gearing up for law school. Henry and Lucy Steele decided to make their love known through the infamous FB official made-for-each-other relationship post after only a month of dating. Some may say that’s jumping the gun...and they would be correct.

I finally had to stop following Lucy’s FB posts which consist mainly of love poems.

Back to Sam and me: things with us were great and by that I mean I wasn’t a sleep deprived skeleton. A rarity when it comes to guys and me. And by rarity I mean it’s a bad sign because if I’m pigging out on food and sleeping 9 hours a night it usually means I don’t like the guy. It’s not an ideal barometer, but it’s all I have.

While I was trying to figure out my next move with Sam, things got a lot more interesting. Grant asked me out. Grant the guy I had been buddy buddy with all summer who was also buddy buddy with Sam.

In all the months spent with Grant, I never thought about dating him. At all. This has little to do with him and more about me being oblivious. Our date was a short jaunt to a local restaurant. We ate, we laughed, and then we went home. I can’t stress enough how brevity on a first date can fuel the desire for future encounters. An especially fun part of the night was when Grant asked if I knew Sam. Apparently, they were in a band together and he’s bummed Sam hits the road in a week.

Smile and nod people, smile and nod. 

Does anyone else feel like I randomly met members of the same group of guy friends and dated all of them for the past couple months? At some point they’re going to get together and realize they all wooed the same girl summer 2014. Hopefully, I won’t be in the room when they do.

Also Grant’s in law school. I swear I don’t try to date only lawyers. I can’t decide if they’re my type or if I’m theirs? Does anyone else only find themselves dating in the same professional pool of guys?

-The Bluestocking