Okay, I seriously think my favorite part of this blog is reading the stories that YOU send in! Here's another guest post (with fabulous pictures included) for your reading pleasure.

How did my first date at BYU date go?

On a scale of 1-10, it won an astonishing 4.

Timeline

7:05--Casanova shows up at the apartment and stands awkwardly by the door. For a second, I think he's forgotten my name.

7:05:01--We're out the door.

7:07--After a really stimulating observation about how "[my] apartment is pretty loud--Are you guys the party apartment?", Casanova proceeds to tell me he has no plan for the date. I was a little miffed by this. Not because I particularly expect the guy to do everything, but because he had called me a week before and told me he would surprise me. He hadn't told me where we were going, or if we were going with other people, or anything. When he first called, it sounded pretty impromptu, so I didn't worry. But then there was a week of in between time he totally could have come up with something. Instead he asked me if I was up for anything. I was, so I said yes.

7:08-7:30--We walked to campus. The scenic route. I wasn't bothered by walking. The conversation was mostly Casanova-centric though. I chalked it up to nervous babbling, so I wasn't too upset he only asked a few token questions in between breaths.

7:30-8:00ish--BYU's Got Talent. This was a good move, howbeit unintentional. I watch American Idol, America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, The X Factor...not that he knew that, but I was still excited. We showed up about halfway through the performance and took a seat in the back.  I now understand why people say theater dates are so awkward for a first date. You basically have to semi-shout an attempt at intelligent conversation. However, it usually ends up being a running ommentary that neither person wants to continue, but because the conversation hasn't closed, you feel awkward just leaving it alone. For the first part, I tried talking, but he was slouched down in his seat so far that I had to lean all the way over him to get near his ear. I'm 98% pretty sure he fell asleep multiple times.

8:00ish-9:00ish--Proceed to basement of the Wilkinson Center. Casanova asks me what I want to do. Never having been down there before and also a little freaked to have been put on the spot, I told him I didn't care. I really didn't...much. I actually really just wanted to go home by that point. No luck. He chooses pool, telling me he's an okay player before

asking if I'm any good. (It kind of annoys me, because he asked questions on rare occasions, but they always seemed like something he remembered he needed to do, not like he actually cared at all what I was saying.) I got in a few lucky shots (because I'm horrible), so I thanked God for making me look like a decent player. He then went on to cream me. I am a very competitive person, and I didn't like this at all. I could have handled it if he played it off sheepishly or even teased me and challenged me to win, but he wasn't interactive at all. As I continued losing, he got more confident, shooting behind his back and whatnot (but with no acknowledgement of the fact he was showing off, like I was supposed to pretend this was how he played all the time). I got less confident, even missing the cue ball a few times, to which he just looked at me then acted like he hadn't seen anything. He talked, but it was all fluffy nothing. Okay, that's a lie. It was real stuff he was talking about, but I didn't really care anymore. It was like a broken record playing an album of songs like: I'm Awesome, My Classes Are The Worst Thing Ever, Where I'm Going On My Mission, and These Are The Things I Like. 

9:00ish-10:00ish--Since I hadn't known what we were going to be doing on said date, I ate just enough to tide me over until I thought the date would be over, just in case he wanted to do a let's-eat-out date. By 9:30, though, I was pretty hungry, so when he said "Hey, you think it's too cold for ice cream?" I was like, "It's never too late for ice cream!!" For some reason, in my head I pictured us entering the Creamery, getting the ice cream, and continuing on our longest-possible-route back to my apartment. Not so. I got to sit in a booth for a half an hour and listen to Casanova talk about...you guessed it...himself. Again.

10:00ish-10:30ish--Walking back. I figured out that if I just said "Yeah" "Sure" and "I bet" every once and a while, I could ignore what he was saying and concentrate on all the homework I needed to do once I got home. When we finally got there, I told him thanks and opened the door. My roommates were asleep, so the whole apartment was dark. Without turning on the light, I give him a polite "Thank you" and step inside. Instead of leaving, he takes a couple steps inside himself and attempts to continue conversation. I didn't respond, partly because I was hoping he would leave and partly because I was shocked he would think I would be okay with it. Finally, blessedly, he left.

Anyway, it's over with. I don't plan on avoiding Casanova or anything, but, because of a collaborative effort from both himself and me, he is soooo far in the friend zone he needs binoculars to see any kind of romantic interest. I think, in a way, this was a good thing. I was able to determine nothing was going to happen so early in the date, I wasn't nervous at all. Now, if/when I get asked out by someone who I want to impress, I don't have to deal with first-date-at-BYU jitters.

See that? That's me, being positive. I'm so proud of myself.......:/

The difference, in my opinion, between being too picky and simply waiting for the right person is how hard you actually attempt to get to know a person before shutting down. I wasn’t asked out very often when I was dating, but when I was, it was usually by boys who were not exactly what I had in mind. I remember agonizing after I had gotten off the phone with one of my friends who was asking me out for the third time. I had said no, because I didn’t want to drag anything out or get his hopes up. I was sulking and feeling like a horrible person in my room and my roommate had had enough of it.

“Why are you upset?” she asked.

“I think I might just be too picky! He’s a great guy, but I just don’t like him. Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I want to date any of the boys that want to date me?”

She thought about this for a second and then asked me something that helped me change my ideas of what being “too picky” was.

“When you went on dates with him, did you honestly try to get to know him? Did you say no because you find him unattractive or because you just aren’t interested?”

That’s when I realized that it’s ok to just not be interested in someone for known or unknown reasons. I was friends with this guy. I had been on two dates with him and even though he wasn’t my ideal, I still tried and gave him a chance and it didn’t work. That’s okay. I think we beat ourselves up for not falling in love with every person that crosses our path, but if that was the way it worked, it would probably take a heck of a lot longer to find someone to marry. If everyone was a viable option, no one would be because it would be so much harder to settle down and give up dating life.

This was the mental list of things I wanted in a future husband when I was dating:

This is how my husband measures up to that list:

As you can see, some of my list items are fulfilled, others aren’t. The ones that aren’t, we compromised on (except we still haven’t figured out a way to make him taller…) I am 100% sure that there are some things that he wanted that I don’t have. Actually, I can make a list of the ones I’m aware of:

But, he was kind enough to look past the things about me that he didn’t like because we’re best friends and get along well, and most importantly, we love each other. If there are things about a person you don’t like, that’s fine. No one is perfect. But, we have to give people the chance to show us the good in them and allow a possible love to grow. That’s the major difference between being too picky and being decisive. We can’t just write someone off because they’re tone-deaf, or they carry a little extra weight, or they don’t love dogs like you do. If you’ve legitimately considered and spent time with someone, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to date or marry them, but you have to put that time in to begin with.

That said, deal-breakers do exist. Everyone has their own. These are mine:

I’ve used a lot of lists; I apologize. The main point is that everyone deserves a chance. Everyone gets a first date (unless you fear for your safety, I suppose). If there is only one girl or boy in your ward in whom you are interested, everyone else is interested in them, too. Broaden your horizons. Step out of your comfort zone. Get to know people that you’re not instantly attracted to. And if nothing happens, it’s ok. You gave it a chance and that’s what keeps you from being “too picky.”

--Mary

I'll be the first person to admit that I'm a picky dater. Not eater--I'll eat almost anything. But when it comes to dating a person, I am not the girl who will date just anyone. However, I also happen to think I"m pretty reasonable about my limitations, and so far they haven't caused me too much grief, so I'm saying that makes me an expert and here I go sharing my maybe-not-so-humble opinion with you all.

Despite the extensive list of traits I wrote for my future husband circa 2005 in my beehive days, I only have 4 real qualifications for a man whom I will date. (Who? Whom? Idk, moving past it.) Though I don't really use the term 'deal-breaker', I suppose you could say that not fitting one of these qualifications would be a deal-breaker for me.  

1. He has to put God before everyone and everything else.

     Yeah, yeah, this is the typical, Mormony qualification for a spouse, right? But before you quit reading so fast, don't. It probably goes unsaid for most of us, but the fact remains--I don't want to marry a man who doesn't value his relationship with God higher than all other relationships. So why would I date that kind of man? Lack of commitment to his testimony is a deal-breaker. Peter Priesthoods, pls apply here, I get off at 9.

2. He has to make me laugh and think I'm funny, too. 

     Ahem, do I think I'm funny? Like, why else would I become a blogger but to grace the world with my hilarity? Well I once dated a guy (and probably would have married him, tbh) who never laughed at any of my jokes. And I never laughed at his either. Why I didn't see that as a red flag from the beginning still confuses me, but looking back, it was a pretty boring relationship. Now, I'm not saying that I'm a queen comedian and everyone should pee their pants with laughter at my jokes, but I sure as heck think my significant other (SO, if you're into abbreviating love and that kind of thing) should be laughing when I pull out my infamous snarky commentary. And I should be laughing at his as well, or else things are gonna get real lame, real fast.

3. He has to be within my same realm of intelligence. 

     Just now realizing that this one makes me sound like a snob, but there's no turning back now #noregrets. Again, I'm not claiming to be a rocket scientist (though my brother is one. so.) but I would say that my ability to hold an intelligent conversation is at least moderate. So if some rando Provo All-Star wants to chat me up at a cookie night with talk of bench reps and summer sales....I'm outie. A guy's gotta be able to give me at least a tiny bit of HP fangirling and a fair discussion of some modern societal issues for me to take an interest in him. Bottom line: Date within a comfortable range of your own IQ score and you'll be able to converse a whole lot easier.

4. Above everything else, there has to be natural chemistry.

     When all is said and done, you have to actually like the person. I've been on plenty of dates with guys who fit the top 3 qualifications and the sad truth was.....I just wasn't feelin' the spark. Or maybe he wasn't feeling it. Or maybe it was mutual. I once went on a few dates with a guy and thought it was all going pretty well until the end of one date when I suddenly realized that we were way better off as friends. I just wasn't attracted to him like that. And before you ask how cute he was, I will assure you that he was a dang good looking young man. I had thought that from the beginning. The feelings just weren't there for me. And if the feelings aren't there, the relationship shouldn't be there either.

Bam, boom, bang, there it is. I'm obviously not a pro (currently in sweats on my childhood bed in my parents' house, so eat that one up, interwebz!) but I feel pretty good about the qualifications I've made for my future hubsalicious. (If you read that word with less than a metric ton of irony....stahp.) All in all, in summation, to conclude, etc, I say this: Be reasonably picky. It's okay to be picky! Why would you ever want to spend eternity with someone who was just a so-so fit for you? But keep your qualifications in a partner to a reasonable amount. And then keep your partner to those qualifications. We'll all find them eventually, I promise. 

♥Kylie

www.kylieinthesky.com

Nothing is more romantic than a moonlit walk with the man of your dreams, right? Unless of course that moonlit stroll takes place at 3AM through a dark forest terrain, not knowing exactly where you’re headed.

My first date with the guy I was interested in started as any other, with a text at about eight o'clock at night, asking what I was up to, and if I wanted to go on a date. Ah, romance. After believing myself to be in store for a romantic evening filled with flirtatious banter, I found myself surrounded by high schoolers. Yes, my "homme romantiqe" had invited me on a group date along with two of his brothers and their dates, all of them still in high school.

Now with my perpetual optimism, I figured I could still make a good thing out of this, so was far from disheartened. Our big activity was to play indoor soccer at the local park's racquetball courts. It was all fun and games until I got hit square in the face with a soccer ball. Surely this kind of thing only happened on America’s Funniest Home Videos. So far on this date I had just come across as uncoordinated and pitiful. But my momma didn't raise no quitter! I would charm the heart of the fair prince!

After soccer was finished (to my relief), it was decided by the group to head up to a local hiking trail that led to caves to be explored. We set off on the trail armed only with one flashlight per couple for what I thought was a mile at most. Six, it turns out six was a more accurate number. And this wasn't just a nice leisurely stroll through trees, there were rocks to be climbed and creeks to be forged. My relief when we got to the caves was short lived when I was informed we would be climbing DOWN into the first cave. My claustrophobia set in, and I felt myself on the edge of a panic attack. Dulling my panic down I was able to successfully navigate myself through the tight spaces and shelves I'd rather not bring up the memory of now.

Five hours after the start of the date, we still weren't finished. That's right, we had to walk back the six miles to our vehicles. My luck was still holding out when wouldn't you know it, we got lost. Without my dates boy scout compass (always be prepared my eye!), we ended up walking about a mile and a half off course in the complete opposite direction. At this point I felt like I was in a horror movie, and something was going to start picking us off one by one.

Luckily, we got scent of the old trail and backtracked to our car. My date finally dropped me off at home eight hours later. 

Mi amor and I went on a few more dates, albeit not as exciting as the first. Even though this would have been a great first date story to tell the kids, we eventually parted ways as likely friends, but not before he left me with a few scars. 

Literal scars. 

My shoes that night left blisters on my ankles.

And I intend on getting this right.

He asked me out again for the next weekend and we went to the planetarium. I'd never been to a planetarium before and I was pumped. We had a lot of fun playing with all the science stuff at the beginning and doing all of the kid stuff throughout. He discovered how creeped out I am by creepy crawlie creatures (really! Don't they give you the heebee-jeebees?) and tried to make me touch them. Afterwards we got a cupcake and he took me home. We ended up talking in my apartment until 1:30 (It was Friday. No Honor-Code-Breakage here!) . Yes, this was kind of a marathon date but that was okay because the conversation was flowing.

All in all, Colonel Paisley is every bit the gentleman that his posts make him out to be. He gets very (jokingly) offended if you don't let him open your door, and is always respectful. I am really grateful that I was able to meet him through this contest and all y'all should be jealous. And he's definitely NOT a rapist.

STATUS REPORT

__________________
NAME: JUDE PAISLEY
RANK: COLONEL

DATE OF BIRTH: 6/31/1988

CURRENT ADDRESS: Scruff McGruff, Chicago IL, 60652

It was discovered that on January 26, 2012 Colonel Jude Paisley had a secret rendezvous with the First Lady. President Harrison Ford instructed us to tail them at a discreet distance. They had delicious Thai food and then enjoyed a showing of The Merchant of Venice. They sat on the floor of the theatre but did not participate in the performance. No harm came to the First Lady. No marathon date was reported.

On February 3, 2012, Colonel Paisley took the First Lady to the planetarium in Salt Lake City. Bill Nye offered the statement, “Science rules.” The variety of activities was very enjoyable, and the First Lady appeared to be enjoying the colonel’s company. Upon returning to Provo, they ate at one of the colonel’s favorite restaurants, δρ ζπεεςϑςτξακς [encoded in Greek so as to protect his identity]. Date was borderline marathonical, but still acceptable.

President Harrison Ford determined that such rendezvous are unbefitting the First Lady, and Colonel Paisley was temporarily detained in military prison until such justification was provided.

CONCLUSIONS:

The First Lady is a charming and captivating woman.

Colonel Paisley and the First Lady are friends who enjoy spending time together.

The First Lady is in fact not married to President Harrison Ford, and thus she can do whatever she likes with whomever she chooses.

All charges of infidelity were dropped.

Colonel Paisley was released from military prison.