Sometimes My Life is Less Than Exciting...

5/30/2012 The Charmer 2 Comments

Wow. Spaced it again yesterday. I think I'm just going to forego the whole "posting on Tuesday" thing since I'm obviously having issues with it. It will be more of a "sporadic posts from the Charmer" series instead of a weekly scheduled thing. Eh, I'm finishing up four years of school. My brain is fried.

I don't have much to report this week. My bishop lost my dental paperwork, so I need to go back in to the dentist and have them fill out my form again so that I can meet with my stake president on Sunday. But...hopefully the papers will BE. IN. SOON. *fingers crossed*

Everyone keeps asking where I think I'll be called. I honestly haven't got a clue. My whole life, I always said foreign foreign foreign I'D BETTER GO FOREIGN! (I was a bit of a brat growing up). But recently, I've really warmed up to the idea of going stateside. Maybe that's a sign that I'll be sticking around the US. It would be nice to leave North America, though, since I have yet to step foot off the continent...
Feel free to make guesses. That would be a fun little game :)

Mr. Director and I spent some time together this weekend and it was really nice. I was reminded of all the reasons why I like him and why I seriously considered marrying him, which were some things I seem to have forgotten lately.

Also I bought a new swimsuit and it's yellow and awesome.

Wow. Sorry this post is so extremely boring. Maybe I'll have to start telling stories about when I used to go on dates, just to liven it up a bit.

Well...the show is going well. We're finally rehearsing onstage, which is exciting. I get to spend a lot of time watching Mr. Dir prance around and sing while I wait for my dance numbers. Ah, the life of an ensemble member.
Also, I wrote about this last week but it was part of my retracted post but I think I'll tell you anyways....I kind of have a crush on one of the other leads. (!!!)

Not a huge crush. I still love Mr. Dir, after all. But I do have one of those I've-been-in-close-proximity-with-you-for-a-month-now-and-you're-the-first-guy-who-caught-my-eye-after-Mr.-Dir-broke-up-with-me crushes.

Those of you in Mr. Director's fan club needn't worry, however. After all, most of the cast members seem to think we're married. I highly doubt this other boy...the appropriately-named Hunk...is going to make a move. And I don't really know if I'd want him to, anyways. BECAUSE I'M GOIN ON A MISSION, RIGHT?!

Yeah. I'm not salvaging this post much.
Hope your Wednesday is more thrilling than mine!

xoxo,
The Charmer 

'It’s such happiness when good people get together"

5/28/2012 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments

The Lady and a boy named Dex: Standing upon ceremony.

5/25/2012 The Lady 10 Comments

Once upon a time, The Lady fell in love. Honest to goodness love. This is the story of her journey in and out of it and back into it again.With the approaching spring, I became agitated and fitful. Spring meant change, a new beginning, an anticipated ending. Dex was graduating. Not yet a doctor, but well on his way. Even though Dex was still planning on a mission, we had promised each other that once the semester ended and he had graduated, we would begin dating again. However, with all that had happened, I could not be certain that the promise still stood. I had no idea what I could expect from him. His forgiveness did not necessarily mean that everything was magically resolved and we would be together again. For all I knew, our understanding was null and void. But at that point, all I wanted was to know. Whether it was yes or no. It did not matter what the answer was as long as I got one; I would deal with the effects later.

The air was heavy that night as though it knew what would unfold. My sister and I went to Dex's graduation together. I watched the whole ordeal with trepidation. By the end of the ceremony I had lost my nerve. I would not go up to him. I remained at a far-off distance while my sister and Dex's family and friends surrounded him and peppered him with congratulations. I couldn't force my limbs to move in his direction. We don't have to hash things out tonight. Oh, but it would have been so much easier if he would come to me.

I could see Dex bend his lanky frame to communicate in whispers with my sister. He turned his head in my direction and then began to sprint towards me. He dodged families and other graduates, his cap in hand and his graduation gown flapping. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was running to me. I wanted to erupt into a cacophony of emotions, and I still couldn't move. I don't know whether my face looked petrified or gleeful. But before Dex could catch me up in one of his body-engulfing hugs, I was caught up into a much less welcome embrace from his best friend, Lucy, who had (only Heaven knows why) run to me with Dex. {A summary of my emotions at that moment: ?????????????????!!!!??!?!!?!!??????????!!!!!!!!!?!!!!????........} Lucy stepped aside and allowed Dex to give me the hug I had been anticipating for oh, five months. My thoughts were jumbled: Why is Lucy here? Dex looks great. I'm so proud of him. What does Lucy think she is doing? She knows perfectly well that this is the sort of moment that does not include the best friend. Why won't she go away?! Dex is perfect. Surely this is a good sign, that he ran to me. A man does not run to someone if he doesn't care about them. Why is she still standing here?
With Lucy beaming at us as though she was the one to instigate this long-awaited moment, Dex asked how I was. I stammered out a short reply. I didn't have words. "Well, I would love to stay and talk, but I've got a bunch of family stuff going on, so I'll see you later," Dex said. I lifted my hand in a half-hearted goodbye. Lucy moved closer to my side and watched Dex retreat. We were silent for a few moments, and naturally Lucy was the one to break the silence, "You know you're not going to marry him right?" As though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Was this the truth? She was his best friend, and she had been a friend to me, what would she benefit from lying? But it could not be the truth. He ran to me. In front of hundreds of people, his family, his friends. It couldn't be true. Could it? Lucy didn't say another word and followed after Dex. I stood there in shock. My sister came to collect me, and just let me cry and cry and cry and cry some more. 


The days and weeks following were a blur, I don't even know if I lived them. Dex and I never said anything to each other that wasn't due to maintain common courtesy, but we said little else. Our relationship just disintegrated. For the next year before Dex left for his mission, I hated him. I couldn't wait for him to leave. He was unbearable and childish. Anytime I was forced to socialize with him and Lucy, I wanted to strangle them both. Or myself. Cordiality had turned so far into bitterness {on both our parts} that by the time he left on his mission it was good riddance.

That's something that most people don't understand. We did not part well. Dex's attitude towards me bordered rudeness. Most people feel that because we were in love once, all can be mended, but most of the time I don't feel that way. I still feel that Dex is angry with me, that I am nothing but a hated memory of his. There is no logical reason for me to believe that we would ever be friends again let alone husband and wife. There is no reason. There is no way. But oh, how I wish that there was. Because despite being angry and attempting to push his memory away for so long, I am still in love with him. But I have no hope that the case would ever be the same for him. It is impossible.

But I will be forced to see him soon.

Con Amor,
The Lady

The RM's Key Indicators

5/24/2012 The Romantic 1 Comments

FACT: Missionaries make goals.

FACT: During my convalescence, I've had a lot of time on my hands.

FACT: With aforementioned extra time on my hands, I may have made some dating goals borrowing guidelines from the missionary planner/PMG (see chapter 8 for a more thorough discussion of a missionary's key indicators).

Your purpose is to invite others to come unto you and be married. Key indicators have been invented by me, to help you focus on your purpose. When you focus on these goals, you help others come unto you to build a long and lasting relationship for eternity. 

Suitors with a temple date: This goal should probably always just be set for one.
New Potential Suitors: Meet someone new? Did you have a conversation? Would you like to see them again? Count 'em.
Dates: Planned out. Paid for. Paired off.
Dates with a friend present: This goal includes any double, triple or group dates. "Hanging out" does not fall under this category and should not be counted unless the event is planned in advance, paired off, and paid for by the party that did the asking.

These weekly goals above should be set and evaluated once a week. 

Goals that should be set and evaluated daily include, but are not excluded to: 
Dates: See weekly goals for a description of this item.
Other dates: Pseudo dates... A hanging out turned into something general authority approved (see item above. Maybe not planned ahead, but paired off, and paid for)
Referrals: See weekly goals
New Potential Suitors: See weekly goals.


 This post is dedicated to my trainer... No, we don't do comp inventory anymore. But we might as well. Now go out and slay some men sistah.

xoxo
-the Romantic

The Not-So-Lone Wanderer

5/23/2012 The Closer 5 Comments

I have been grinning from ear to ear all week. I have also had somewhere between one and three excited-giggle-fests with my roommates.

The Lone Wanderer is most certainly in the throws of twitterpation with The Closer, and The Closer is feeling quite mutually about him.

You know that feeling when a guy says something super sweet to you and you blush and get grin on your face that you can't seem to wipe off? That's been me, at least five times day, for the past week. I would have never guessed that this guy would be the kind to say the completely adorable things that he does.

I ended up finding out that he has liked me all along, but because of the distance he kept himself from doing anything about it. Apparently he could only resist for so long. He said he finally decided that the distance wasn't enough of a reason not to try and see if this goes somewhere. I'd have to say I agree. What are the odds out of all the guys in Provo, things start to materialize with one who doesn't even live here. I have to admit, the distance is such a downer sometimes. Boy would I love to get to spend some time with him in person...


...


...


...and that's why we're meeting up in Idaho this weekend!

That's right. What started as some flirtatious joking, turned into "we should definitely do this", and I am using great amounts of willpower to contain my excitement. Oh goodness. He has admitted to significant excitement levels as well. He told me to "prepare to be wooed". Do I even have a chance of not being a puddle of putty in his hands? Probably not.

Wish me luck.

Yours Truly,

The Closer

Retracted

5/23/2012 The Charmer 3 Comments

I don't know if anyone on this blog has ever retracted a post before, but I just did.

I would like it to be known that I did, in fact, post on Tuesday, which (for some reason) I've been having issues doing recently. So, even with a quiz and a test and a 3-hour rehearsal I made sure to remember you, our wonderful readers. I was so proud of myself! :)

Annnnd then I ended up retracting my post so most of you probably didn't even get a chance to read it. Sorry.


Why did I retract it?

1. The post was partially written out of spite. I once made a promise to myself that I would never post something written in a fit of rage...and even though I wasn't raging, I realized that I was in a bit of a foul mood when I wrote the post. As a result, it was quite hurtful to someone I care very much about it.

2. I realized that revealing all of my innermost feelings in an effort to entertain readers isn't worth harming a relationship. Sure, I love a good story, but sometimes I forget that there are living, feeling people behind my stories. And Mr. Director isn't just a character; he is a living person with very real feelings. It's true, "Mr. Director" reads the blog....but so does _________, the real Mr. Director. And it's not fair to just use him as a good storyline

3. Our dear Mr. Director himself left a...less-than-pleasant comment, bless his heart. And rather than get everybody riled up over it, I just decided to take it down.

Anyways, the post really bothered him and it was more important to me to salvage our friendship (i.e., our awkwardly-not-dating-but-not-being-sure-how-to-be-just-friends-relationship) than to leave the post up.

So those of you who read it...lucky you! Those of you who didn't...I'm sure you're dying to know what it was about and you're imagining all sorts of terrible things in your head. Hahahahaha.

I will, however, fill you in on the bit of the post that was dedicated to the mission developments:

I FAILED my pre-mission dental exam. CURSED CAVITIES! Turns out my lovely smile was hiding some malicious black holes. I have not one, but TWO cavities. Now the question is whether or not the cavities need to be filled before I can actually submit my papers and get my call. My bishop said he didn't think it would be a problem, but everyone else I've talked to has said it will be. Well, my bishop is forwarding the papers onto the stake president, so I guess we'll see what he says.

And....that's the news in Charmerland! It's been an exhausting day. Peace out.

xoxo,
The Charmer

Oh, and a word of advice: If you ever write on an anonymous dating blog, GO TO ANY PRECAUTIONS NECESSARY TO MAKE SURE THOSE CLOSE TO YOU DON'T FIND OUT ABOUT IT. (Except your mother, if it tends to be the only way she can keep up with your life)

"One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering"

5/22/2012 The Blue Stocking 0 Comments

When it Rains it Pours

5/17/2012 The Closer 3 Comments

I have been so excited to blog this week, but yesterday just came and went before I knew it, so hopefully you don't mind hearing from two three Austens in one day.

My first bit of exciting news is about Happy McSmiles. He's the one who I thought was flirting with me for a solid couple of months, but never did anything. Then he made a comment about not being comfortable dating taller women and I decided that he did not like me after all. The past couple of weeks he had been texting me a little bit more, and I just figured he was being nice, because I'd fallen for that before. Then this past Friday he asked to hang out, but I had plans (An invite to a hang out on the day of? Didn't seem like something to get too worked up over.).

Then again on Sunday he text messaged me asking what my Mother's Day plans were. My family is out of state so I just had a couple little things going on, so he invited me to join him for dinner... at his family's house.

My initial reaction was to say no- because it was only two hours before dinner and he and I hadn't even been on a date, I wasn't ready to get to know his whole family, and meeting families stresses me out. Finally I decided that I had no good reason not to just bite the bullet and go. Turns out, his family is super nice. His mom made me feel right at home, and all his siblings are younger so they were talking about high school drama and the like, it was so fun being around kids again. At one point his mom let it slip that Happy had been talking about me the night before and she told him that he should invite me for dinner. I think Happy got a little embarrassed by that, but I thought it was sweet, and again, made me glad I came. Things have been quiet from him since then, but I'll see him tonight at Place, so I guess we'll see what happens there.

Now the other bit of exciting news, is a little more exciting, and is about The Lone Wanderer. Last week I mentioned how we had started talking more than the first time he left. All this week it has been steadily increasing. We'll send fun text messages throughout the day, and he's called me almost every day the last week. He also keeps telling me that I should come out so that we can hike and camp all around the area he's at in Oregon (Mmm hmm... "camp and hike"). Gradually our conversations have been getting more and more flirtatious, to the point where there is no doubt in my mind that he is interested in me. Insert excited giggle here. Last night we were texting before I went to sleep and the last text he sent made my heart smile...

"Throughout the day I'm constantly in and out of my truck. The first thing I do when I get in my truck is check to see if the green light is blinking on my phone...if its green you sent me a text. If its green, I smile."

Oh my goodness. Adorable. Why can't this boy be in Provo?

Yours Truly,

The Closer

By popular demand...

5/17/2012 The Romantic 5 Comments

I bring you a letter I wrote from the MTC as a missionary. This letter details what has now been termed the "infamous kissing incident".*


*No missionary rules were broken in the writing of this letter. 
xoxo
-the Romantic

Merrily We Roll Along

5/17/2012 The Charmer 2 Comments

Wow. I can't believe I totally spaced my posting day again. It's probably because I was at the doctor getting hepatitis shots. Yuck!
But a couple shots and one TB test later...I passed my pre-mission doctor's appointment. Phew! My dental exam is scheduled for today.

In other words, I am well on my way to getting these papers in. 

Seriously though...look at all those little check marks. I'm so close!!


I am also well on my way to finishing my undergraduate education, which is something that I never (really) thought would happen. It's like turning 21. When I was 12 years old I didn't really think I'd ever be 21. And now I am only a few months away from being 22! What an old woman I've become. (I'm kidding. Obviously)

In other news, I am totally over dating. (I also never thought that would happen)
I have absolutely no desire to go on dates with anyone...except, of course, Mr. Director.

But since we're not "technically" dating right now, I accepted a date a couple weeks ago with a boy I've known for a while.

It was miserable.

Okay, so maybe "miserable" is too intense of a word. It wasn't the worst date I've ever been on...but I just really didn't enjoy myself. I tried. I really did. But I just wasn't feelin' it. And I accidentally/on-purpose have not yet responded to his Facebook message asking if I want to do something else with him. Heh. Whoops.

I guess if I had to describe my lack of dating motivation in one sentence, it would be this:
I still love Mr. Director and I'm going on a mission.

In other words, I don't care about dating. At all.
Who needs boys, right?

Mr. Dir and I continue to roll along with our strange undefined relationship. I still see him basically every day, especially since we're in a show together and so we get to spend lots of quality time at rehearsals.

But despite the strangeness of ending school and the confusion that constitutes my dating life, I am one happy little charmer! I am so excited about this summer! I have my show at the beginning of the summer, camp counseling for 6 or 7 weeks straight (and since one of the camps is in my home state, I'll be able to pop in at home for a few days), and then hopefully near the end of August I'll be leaving to an unknown location for 18 month! (Although I suppose I might have to pop back into Provo first. The whole MTC business.) I really am excited about chasing teenagers around all summer and I'm especially excited about the prospect of serving a mission! Life is good for this little (soon-to-be) college grad!

Love and kisses,
The Charmer

The Summer of Delight

5/14/2012 The Blue Stocking 1 Comments

How the Romantic Got Her Groove Back

5/11/2012 The Romantic 4 Comments

I arrived in Provo Friday night, ready to resume the Provo dating game.

Miracle upon miracle occurred, and I didn't even have to bat an eyelash or touch any elbows to get hit on.

The first guy I met on Friday night practically attacked me with his enthusiasm: "You served a mission in Korea? I served in Taiwan. We should totally go out to eat Korean while you're here. Let's make this week a party." Ok Giddy Gary, I just met you 10 minutes ago. The attention is nice, but it's almost been a year since anyone's flirted with me and I don't think I can handle it.

And then there was Hans, the boy who served his mission in Switzerland. When I find out that juicy tidbit of information, I countered with a genius remark, "OoOo, Switzerland? What's your favorite kind of cheese?" I think somehow my quirky charm worked on him, because after we left his apartment, my roomie turned to me and said, "I think he thinks you're cute." I'm pretty sure a boy hasn't thought I was cute in a year! THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS! 

And then there was tonight, where all my new found self-confidence took a little bit of a tumble. I was meeting up with some of my MTC teachers (including the one I accidentally asked to kiss me... it's a bit of a long story....there was cold medicine involved). The dinner went great! And I even redeemed myself from the parenthetically aforementioned most embarrassing moment of my ENTIRE life. But then came the awkward hug as we said goodbye. My room mates have been re-enacting it all night. Did he give me a full frontal hug while I a feeble one armed noodle hug back?

Yes. Yes I did.

Now, our findings on whether or not my dear ole' MTC teacher is dating someone were inconclusive. But, suffice it to say, if the opportunity ever comes round for a hug again, I will make sure my arms are significantly less noodle-ly.
 
Yours affectionately,
the Romantic  



"I like Gouda" (via)

Did Someone Say Contest!?

5/09/2012 The Romantic 0 Comments

Hello lovely Anti-Austen-ites!

During our latest staff meeting, we came to the conclusion that our blog header is a tad outdated. And so, we've decided to open it up to you dear readers!

Do you have the perfect design idea?

E-mail us at byudates@gmail.com! We'll be taking entries through June 1st. We're excited to hear from you.

-the Anti-Austens

Officially Unofficial Decisions

5/09/2012 The Closer 1 Comments

If I were to base my life decisions on blog comments alone, I would have no choice but to pursue Mr. Manager. It turns out the readers (or at least the commenters) of this blog are pro tall girl-short boy dating. I have to admit that your confidence is a little infectious and I'm considering this option on an increasing basis. What seems to be the greatest hurdle is that I'm not the only one who will have to overcome that hurdle. He's never expressed interest in dating significantly taller girls, and certainly doesn't seem to express clear interest in me. I will mention that at a ward activity recently, he and I were talking and I must have said something hilarious (of course, right?), so he laughed and said "Closer, what are we going to do when one of us gets married and we don't get to hang out anymore?". That may or may not have tugged on my heart strings a little.

So my official decision for now, is that I'm not deciding anything.

In other news... I've been keeping in much closer contact with The Lone Wanderer. Remember how he came into town and it was so fun and I was really excited, and then he left town and basically died? Well, he came back into town a few weeks ago, and was here for about 10 days. He spent a few days with family in Salt Lake, but the rest of his time, he spent with me. There was much quality time spending occurring. Which is my number two love language.  By the time he left I had mentally prepared myself for a drop off of contact again, and had decided that being friends, maybe even close friends, would be a good thing. Especially because he's all the way in Oregon now, aka, too far.

But lo and behold, contact did not drop off. I have to admit, it has been a ton of fun keeping in contact with him, and he's been way more diligent about staying in touch than the last time. There's been fun witty-banter-texting going on just about every day, and one or two phone calls per week. My goodness, let me just take a moment to mention how funny this guy is, he has me cracking up every day. I love it.

He is certainly not the emotionally expressive type, so conversation is always fun, lighthearted, and mildly flirtatious. It's great because it's just enough to keep a door open to possibilities if situations were to change, but it's nothing significant enough to feel like pressure for either one of us, or cause us to get too emotionally attached without the balance of in-person interaction.

So my official decision for now, is also that I'm not deciding anything.

Yours Truly,

The Closer

The Situation

5/08/2012 The Charmer 13 Comments

Sorry about my brief hiatus! I don't really have a good excuse, except that my life got a tad bit busier than I had expected.

Well, if anyone's been curious about what's going on in my life.....

You might recall that Mr. Dir broke up with me during finals week. Unlike my breakup with The Ex, however, Mr. Dir and I decided to still "be friends." I know, I know, it's the most cliche line ever. But the thought of never speaking to him, never texting him about random happenings, or never hanging out with him again was a sad one. After all, we really were best friends..and losing your best friend is a very sad situation.

Anyways, this determination to remain friends meant that we were emailing each other the very next day. I'm pretty sure he even came in to visit me at work. I know it's not quite kosher, but it's what happened. He sent me the song "Maybe" by Ingrid Michaelson in one of his emails with a note saying,
Kind of a weird music video, but it's really how I'm feeling today
(besides feeling really sad, terrible, not hungry, and lost).

If you're not familiar with the song, the chorus says
"The only way to really know, is to really let it go...
Maybe in the future you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back to me" 

"I have not the pleasure of understanding you"

5/06/2012 The Blue Stocking 7 Comments

The Unfortunate Organ Incident - The Tale of an Unaccomplished Woman

5/06/2012 The Romantic 4 Comments

Last Sunday I experienced the "delight" of being the only speaker to show up for Sacrament meeting, with the giant monkey on back of teaching gospel doctrine for the first time.
If there were words to explain the nervousness I felt, then I would insert them here. But I fear none have quite yet been invented. But you can imagine, right?
But as I sat stewing on the stand before the meeting started, I realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to talk to Teddy, the organ playing wonder of the ward.
I donned my best smile, flipped my hair, and may have even let myself bat an eyelash or two. I was quite determined to make a come-back in the flirting business, as all my previous attempts post-mission have yielded no fruit (as it were).

"So," I said, adopting the most coquettish voice I have in my repertoire, "I'm just so curious, where did you learn to play the organ?"

"Well, the Bishop asked me about a year ago to learn. I played the piano before. I would practice about 10 hours a week," he answered.

"Wow. That's really cool!" I really was rather impressed.

And then came the question I hate: "SO, do you play?"

"No, I'm not musical at all." The little voice inside my head wanted to pipe up with But I do appreciate a good tune!! After facebook stalking you, I think we could have a lot in common; musically speaking.

And then came his unfortunate quip; with all the underlying tones of any comment from Fitzwilliam Darcy (not the charming Darcy at the close of P&P, but the aloof and critical Darcy from the assembly hall dance). 

"Well, that's what everyone says. Until they actually try." He then promptly went back to serenading the gathering congregation with his beautiful prelude music without another word to me.

The tone in his voice said enough. You aren't musical? Therefore I am not impressed. See picture below for the expression of horror at my unaccomplishments.

Being tri-lingual and a writer isn't enough for some people I suppose.

But there is always hope! I am back in Provo for the week and I echo the words of my pioneer forebearers when I say, "All is Well!" The men here have proven to me that my elbow grabbing and eye batting techniques are not broken from disuse. A little rusty, but not broken.

Stay tuned next time for Asian Connection: How the Romantic Got Her Groove Back

xoxo
-the Romantic 

The Lady and a boy named Dex: Persuasion

5/04/2012 The Lady 3 Comments

Once upon a time, The Lady fell in love. Honest to goodness love. This is the story of her journey in and out of it and back into it again.


Dex asked me almost everyday if I would marry him. And I replied with a satisfied, "Yes," every time. I felt as though I had struck gold with Dex. Not every girl gets a marriage proposal everyday. Dex and I would have gotten married that winter if there had not been obstacles which prevented us from doing so.

1. Dex was not yet a baptized member of the Church. Though he could have gotten baptized without it, he was on a long road battling for the approval of his father.

2. Dex was determined to do his duty and serve a mission.

3. Both of our parents were strongly opposed to our relationship, and any mention of our plans for marriage would have caused several fainting spells and/or heart attacks.

Our greatest enemy was time. Dex would be baptized and serve a mission, and I would wait. Oh, yes, I was determined to wait for over three years. As for our parents being opposed to the whole ordeal, I felt that either they would become accustomed to the idea over time, or Dex and I would go the romantic route and marry despite the disapproval of our families. Very Romeo and Juliet.

Dex and I continued along our happy trail of courtship, talking about babies and houses every step of the way. We were in over our heads. We couldn't have backed out of this if we wanted to. Not cleanly at least. But the point was that we didn't want to back out. We weren't going to back out. This was the future we wanted.

That December, I made the long drive home for the Christmas holiday, anticipating what I thought would be a wonderful time with my family. But for two excruciatingly long weeks, I was bombarded with questions and badgered by my parents to end my relationship with Dex, whom they had never even met.

Them: "He's not a member."

Me: "He's getting baptized next week."

Them: "He needs to serve a mission."

Me: "He's planning on it."

Them: "You'll get in his way. You might mess up. He shouldn't be in a relationship before his mission."

It was probably the worst Christmas of my life, and as soon as I could, I escaped. After Christmas, Dex finally got baptized, a new semester started, and all seemed to be well again. At least until my parents came to visit. It was a nightmare. My parents met Dex and they met his parents. While unsupervised, our parents began to discuss our relationship and their feelings regarding it. They all came to the consensus that it was not wise for the two of us to be so seriously dating at that time. Our parents got along swimmingly, united in their opposition towards us.

My parents informed me of this little accord, and attempted to persuade me further. But I refused. This was probably the most rebellious I had ever been in my whole life. I was normally quite an obedient child, but I had never been so relieved to say goodbye to my parents. However, despite my relief at their departure, my innate desire for obedience began to complain against me. I took my worries to Dex, and he understood my concerns being a dutiful son himself. But we had decided to stick this out for the long haul. We were firm that night that my parents left, but it was the last time that we were ever together.

The next several months were dreadful for me. I had lost one of the most important people in my life. And he wasn't even dead. I would see him on campus and he would sometimes wave, but that was all. I became melodramatic. Intensely so. I honestly feel sorry (and wish to apologize) for anyone who associated with me at this time. I was a wreck, and it effected everything I did. I used to mock people like me until I experienced it for myself. It was my Marianne Dashwood period. I had hated Marianne until this point. Why couldn't she just be logical? But if I was anything during this period, it was not logical.


My dearest Lady,
I feel as though I'm abandoning you, and I'm so sorry. Please never doubt my love for you. And please don't do anything that we'll regret.

Love,
Dex


Regret soon became my nature.


Con Amor,
The Lady


"If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty..." -Persuasion

How Short is Too Short?

5/03/2012 The Closer 7 Comments

My dating life has been in a lull for the past few weeks. I have noticed that when this happens, I begin to be much more rational in my evaluation of "potential mates", and I notice guys that I might not have otherwise. In this particular instance, I have been trying to decide if I should consider Mr. Manager more seriously. Mr. Manager and I get along splendidly. Every time we spend time together it is a blast. It's typically also intellectually stimulating, caring, and genuine.

I may get excited about various boys easily, but I rarely continue to be impressed by them. Mr. Manager impresses me consistently. He is hard working, honest, bold, handsome, funny, light-hearted, and spiritually deep rooted. He is also five inches shorter than me.

I have mentioned before that height is a challenge for me in dating, like with Happy McSmiles. I am 6'1'', and easily taller than the majority of men I meet. I've been in relationships with guys as short as 5'11'', but I don't think I have ever been interested in someone under 5'10'' before.

Mr. Manager is 5'8''.

We would be an odd looking couple, definitely. Hugging him sometimes makes me feel like I am emasculating him, but I can't stop thinking about how if he was just a few inches taller, I would very much be interested in him.

I am having trouble overcoming this hurdle. I also don't even know if this is something he would be open to. We joke all the time about how we could never date because of the height difference, and I don't even know if there is any inkling of interest for him towards me. Right now all I know is that I think he is a stellar dude, and also that he is short, quite short..

What would you do? If 5 inches worth overcoming?

Yours Truly,

The Closer