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voyeuristic admiration

Do you remember when I termed the phrase "creeper lovin'"?

I was describing the definition to my RS president the other night, and somehow the phrase voyeuristic admiration popped up.

I liked it, so I decided to share. Much more sophisticated right?

Speaking of creeper lovin', I'm full out creeper lovin' on someone in my ward. Yes dear readers, I have moved past the crease, crinkle, and crush stages to full out creeper lovin'.

Who is this fellow, you may ask.

Weeeelll, here's the thing. He's in a band (typical, right?). And they've actually got a pretty big following. Such a big following that I bought some of their music on itunes before I left on my mission.

We spent awhile talking at the first FHE, but I'm afraid I might have made him a little bit nervous when I didn't exactly hide how ecstatic I was on hearing that he's a drummer for one of my favorite local bands. Since then he's come to my Sunday School class a couple of times. But I was never really certain he remembered my name. Which is something I think you need to know in order to get married and have lots of musically talented babies, so I quickly let the dream die.

But then a couple weeks ago he showed up to ward prayer! An unheard of event! And then he came to ward desert night right after where we talked for awhile more.

I decided then, intimidating pocket square be darned (for the sake of a more appealing rhetoric, sometimes I wish I could swear).

So during munch and mingle on Sunday, I talked to him some more. And I arranged for our houses to have breakfast together. During the time we chatted about the delicious waffles we would make at our collabrative breakfast, Pacha pipped in saying he had a scrumptious crepe recipe.

"Well, you aren't invited to our breakfast," The Drummer said this jokingly. But it was serious....

So although I'm trying not to allow myself to hope, over-analyze, or get too excited, I am currently doing all three.

But if only I end up friends with the guy, that's ok with me.

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. I saw this pillow on pinterest....


 
But seriously! 

The Romantic
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When girls aren't interested

Coming to you again, dear readers, by popular demand, another advice post! 

Lately, the girls I have been asking on dates seem to show interest for the first couple of dates and then seem to not show interest. I mean by not showing interest as in, not responding to text messages for a day or two, and if they do, only respond in a few words. Also, when I seek an opportunity to talk to them face to face, the conversation is generally quite short. When I get the feeling that things aren't going anywhere, which I start to feel when the interest starts declining, I try to respectfully back off and provide space so that I am not intruding. Am I correctly assuming that this is a lack of interest and I should move on? The last thing I want to be is stalkerish and/or creepy, hence the reason why I provide space and don't push the issue after the first two or three occurrences of declining interest (or what I feel as declining interest). I also keep the 3 point rule that Zack Oates introduced. 

Dear Mr. Respectful,
I regret to inform you that your assumptions are probably correct. I generally find that what has now been termed the "Zack Oates 3 point rule" is generally true. And now, even though you didn't ask, I'd like to offer a couple explanations as to why this happens (and by this, how a girl's interest can quickly trickle into nothing). Firstly, girls are cowards. We don't like hurt feelings, awkward conversations, or that awful puppy dog look a boy can get on his face when you've crushed his hopes that had been so high only moments before. So instead of telling a guy we're not interested, we just slowly stop answering him.... It's awful. I know. But it happens. (I personally try not to do this...but it's still hard)

 Secondly, and this is something I've experienced lately, the girl was interested, but somewhere between dates one and two, the magic faded. I was so excited to go out with Pacha last semester. I spent the Sunday night after he asked me out just daydreaming about how great it would all be. But then after a few texting conversations and the date, the magic just sort of died. I can't explained what happened. Or why my feeling so unexpectedly changed. Fickle is my middle name I suppose. But that doesn't make Pacha less cool. Or that I value him any less as a person. Sometimes two people are interested in each other, and then sometimes they suddenly aren't. And it's OK. I think that's the biggest lesson I learned last semester. It's ok to not be interested in someone, and it's ok if they aren't interested in you.

Best of luck Mr. Respectful. It's a tough dating world out there, so may the force be with you (the only excuse I have for that poor sign off is spending the break among my four brothers.... I apologize).

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. just in case you're wondering how my love life is going... it's sort of not. There is a cute boy in one of my classes going into architecture. He even sat next to me today, but I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to him ... I've even come up with good topics to discuss so that I can somehow broach a conversation with him.... but alas, maybe next Tuesday?
The Romantic
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Of Zodiac Signs and Tickling

Oh, where to start dear readers?

I'm still trying to figure out how a night that begin with such hope ended so dismally.

I think it may have started Wednesday night when Pacha texted me to confirm our date for the next day. There was nothing wrong with the way he texted me, or anything he said. It was just lacking in... a certain quick wit.

And yet I was still so hopeful for Wednesday night. Even after he texted to say he got caught up at work and that he'd be late, I was still hopeful.

I think it was after I opened the door Wednesday night to see Pacha wearing a sweatshirt that my heart fell a little. He confessed later that it was the only BYU apparel he had. But a little effort is always nice. Amirite?

Things got worse after we got into the car.

"So, where do you want to eat tonight?" he asked.

I swear, the next time a guy asks me that, I'm saying Tucano's. Or better yet, Chef's Table.

Here's why it's wrong to ask a girl that question guys: You are paying. We don't know what your budget is, or how much you want to spend on a date. Also, it shows a lack of planning. I get your trying to be nice. I do. But just show some initiative! 

After a few minutes of dancing around the topic he finally asked if we could go out for Asian food. I said yes, secretly hoping that we would be eating Korean food, and not Chinese. Chinese food always makes me sick. It's too greasy for my stomach to handle. Any other Asian food would have been better.

I was trying to cut the poor kid some slack. He was obviously nervous to be with me; as evidenced by his coming to a complete stop at a green light on the way to the restaurant.

When we walked into the restaurant I knew the rest of the night was doomed. It was a Chinese place. It was THE Chinese place that my favorite mission companion had told me was the location for one of her worst dates ever. Every bad date to get Chinese food happens at this place. Before we ordered, we read the zodiac place mats.

"So, what are you?" he asked.

"I'm a cobra," I answered. We glanced down to read the description. It mentioned something about unparalleled beauty. 

"Well, they got that part right," Pacha said.

Oh barf. He was already skating on thin ice after he'd put his hand on my thigh in the car. That comment had thinned it out even more.

The plan after dinner was to meet up with a group of people (including his brother who is in our ward) and go to the basketball game.

And here we see more lack of planning. The brothers didn't ask anyone else along. So guess who ended up on a weird plyg-date to the basketball game?

Yes. That's right. This girl. 

I wanted to talk to Pacha's brother to make it less awkward. But he was sitting on the other side of Pacha and my slightly deaf ears couldn't make out anything he said over the "roar of the cougars". That combined with the knots my stomach was in from the Chinese food made me less than chatty.

Right before Pacha's brother left ten minutes before the end of the game, they engaged in a little horse play by poking and tickling each other, as brothers are often wont to do. So, that wasn't the weird part for me. The weird part was when Pacha turned and asked me if I was ticklish as soon as he brother started walking down the Marriot Center steps.

"No," I said.

And then before I could even digest what was happening, HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I tried so hard not to physically shrink from his touch. But inwardly I panicked. My body just froze. The amount of physical interaction I've had with men since I've been home from my mission has been a big fat ZERO. What to do? I had thought he might try and put the moves on me, but I didn't prepare for what my reaction would be if actually happened.

"Are you sure you're not ticklish?" he flirted.

"Nope, not at all. Why? Are you going to try something right now?" I tried not to be too cold as I said that.

He gingerly pulled his arm away.

The game ended. The cougars killed it. Pacha, however, did not.

When he dropped me off, he got out of the car to give me a hug. But he didn't walk me to the door. I'm still confused about that one. But oh well.

Eternally single, but eternally yours,
the Romantic 

The Romantic
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Perks of Staying in Provo

A summary of conversations taking place during my ward's "much&mingle" last Sunday:

 RS secretary approaches the group of girls I'm sitting with...

RS secretary: Are you guys going to the girl's choice stake dance?

Blank stares by our group... 

RS secretary: Here's all the reasons you should go.... (as she started on the list of reasons why the stake dance was going to be "super fun" I stopped listening. It was like she morphed into the teacher on Charlie Brown. You've all had moments like this, yes?) 

 And then I saw a golden opportunity. 

 Pacha, just standing there alone. 

Pacha and I have been in the same ward all semester. For the most part, our conversations haven't moved past general pleasantries. In fact, the Emma side of my personality has been trying to convince one of my best friends to date him. My encouragement to her on his behalf always fell on deaf ears. 

 Which is pretty fortunate for me I suppose.

 After Pacha's talk this last Sunday, something suddenly shifted.  Forget my friend, I decided that I should get to know Pacha better. 

 Thus when the golden opportunity presented itself, I couldn't resist. I had to at least talk to him(something I don't do very often with men anymore). 

Me: Hey Pacha (I even touched his elbow here, you'd be so proud dear readers), I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciated your talk today. It was really good.

Pacha: Hey thanks. And I just wanted to tell you that your blog post (from my personal blog, don't worry) from this week meant a lot to me. I was having a rough day and it really picked me up.

Me: Yeah, of course! I almost didn't post it, so.... (I'm so eloquent sometimes) Anyway, you're just really great, so I'm glad it helped.

Pacha: You're really great too.... Can I get a hug?

Me: Uh yeah.... for sure.

We then proceeded to "hug it out" as you young people say. I promise it wasn't as awkward as this blog post makes it seem. 

Me: Hey, we should hang out sometime (my whole goal in going up to talk to him in the first place)!

Pacha: Actually, what are you doing on Wednesday? Will you be in town?

Me: Yeah, I'm sticking around.

He then got my number, and plans were made. Dinner and the basketball game. I only wish I had some sort of BYU apparel. What does one wear to a basketball game!?

Not to discount Mr. Lowe, because I do think he was somewhat interested in me, but I feel like this is my first real date since I've been home from the mission. Real date meaning a guy has asked me out based purely on his interest in me. No scheming on my part (or my stake president's). This is just because he thinks I'm great. And I can't help but be a little bit excited about that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. Here's my new favorite song. Just because. 


The Romantic
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