Incidents from the Life of the Charmer: Drama Boys Pt. 2

9/28/2014 The Charmer 4 Comments

When I last left you, Jackson had told me he'd made me a gift: a CD of EFY songs. However, Jackson ended up having something come up and did not show up to the singles ward the following morning. I wondered where he was for approximately 5 seconds and then promptly forgot about it, since the rest of my day was spent with Ammon at a work picnic he'd invited me to. After a fabulous afternoon with him, we spent the evening talking and laughing and eventually got kicked out by the second park ranger within a week. Before saying goodbye, we had our first kiss, and then I was on my way home to finish packing before catching an early flight the next morning.

It was approximately five minutes after leaving Ammon when Jackson called and asked, "Hey, did you want to stop by and get that CD I made you?" Sighing as I thought about the long night that lay ahead, I replied, "Sure, I'll be there in half an hour." After all, despite the fact that I was no longer interested in him, we were pretty good friends by this point. I figured saying goodbye before leaving to China was only fair.

I showed up and found that he had, in fact, made me 3 CDs and had also written me a note. I cringed a little bit when I realized there was a note involved, but upon inspection I discovered it was nothing to worry about. It was a really sincere note where he just told me that he thought I was awesome and that I deserved the best. He thanked me for my friendship and for setting a new dating standard for him.

I hadn't planned on staying long, but apparently he had different plans. He wanted to talk about BYU, since he'd be starting there in a couple of weeks. I told him how much he was going to love Provo and all of the amazing girls there. He kept asking questions about my summer of EFY, and eventually the questions moved away from talking about my EFY kids to my EFY dating life. He wanted to know how many guys I'd kissed during the summer or how many guys I'd had a "thing" with. I kept telling him, none. He didn't seem to believe that nothing had happened with anyone. Then, he told me about Claire and how he'd turned her down when she tried to kiss him because he still had feelings for me (oh dear). Finally, he asked again, " really haven't kissed anyone since you kissed me?"


Oh Jackson, if only you had asked me an hour ago. I didn't feel bad at all about kissing Ammon, but come on, this was NOT a subject I felt like bringing up with a boy who was clearly still interested in me. What's a girl to do...lie about the situation to protect his feelings? Or tell him the truth?

Well, I picked the latter. I couldn't lie to Jackson. We'd always had a super honest relationship.
So, without giving him too many details (like "Well, actually I just kissed someone 45 minutes ago...."), I told him that I had, in fact, kissed someone within the last week.
Needless to say, he was a little shocked. And a little hurt. He demanded to know who this guy was and although I told him it wasn't important, he kept insisting and so finally, I told him. He kept saying he couldn't believe I'd kissed someone I'd only known for a week (although, if he would have thought back to our short history together, he would have realized we hadn't known each other much longer than that...) 
Obviously things were a little awkward after that, so after telling him how awesome I thought he was and how grateful I was to have met him, I left. I thought that was the end of it.

Now here's where the drama kicks in.

As I'm tiredly shoving the last of my wardrobe into space bags and vowing as I do every time I pack to NOT PROCRASTINATE NEXT TIME, I get a text from Jackson. He tells me to disregard everything he wrote in the note because I "wasn't who he thought I was." He told me that the Charmer he knew wouldn't have run off, rebounded, and kissed the first guy she saw.

Whoa whoa whoa, hold up. Excuse me?

I of course asked him what he was talking about. He sent back a text telling me that he knew exactly what had happened. In his mind, this is how the situation went down:

"So I think the reason you didn't pursue anyone this summer is because you were actually still interested in me. Then when you got home and you saw me with Claire, you got jealous and went looking for a rebound. You met Ammon, kissed him, and then wanted to let me know so that I'd be the one who was jealous. I mean, after all, the only time I've ever kissed anyone after only a week was a rebound."

I'm pretty sure I just sat there starting at the text for a few minutes, trying to process if I was reading the words correctly. Had he really just sent that to me? I couldn't believe it. First off, I defended my pride and told him no, that wasn't exactly how things had gone down. I told him that no matter what he believed had happened, the only reason I'd even told him about Ammon was because I cared enough about him (Jackson) to be honest with him. He continued sending me accusatory texts, telling me that he was so embarrassed he'd turned down "poor Claire" because of me. By this point, it was around 1 AM, I was running on very little sleep from staying up until 3 AM every other night with Ammon, I was stressed because I was catching a flight in 5 hours...and I was kind of fed up with this drama. I have to confess that things may have gotten a bit heated. I basically told him to have a nice life and to have fun in Provo where I was sure he'd meet plenty of amazing new girls and forget about me in no time.

Well, a few days after being in China, I felt kind of bad about how things had ended between us. So, I sent him a message on Facebook thanking him for the EFY CDs and telling him that I hoped he was having fun in Provo. In response, I got this:

"No problem! Glad you're liking them. I almost didn't give them to you because of that stupid letter that I hope you disregarded! You were right about me forgetting about everything as soon as I got here though. Only because you made it really easy for me. Having a guy ask to kiss you on the first date is never a good sign. Weird you couldn't see that. 
Oh, and I've been having a ton of with Claire!"

Well, if we weren't over before, we definitely were now.
[Oh, and just for the record, Jackson....Ammon didn't ask me on the first date. You, however, tried to hold my hand on our second date, in case you forgot...]

Anyway, I realized in that moment just how done I was with immature boys. If I want drama, I'll run over to Hulu and watch the latest episode of The Bachelorette, but I don't need ANY of that nonsense creeping into my relationships.

[To his credit, the next day Jackson DID send me an apology where he recognized that his message had been kind of harsh and explained that he just felt "really hurt and stupid that night." He told me he still thinks I'm awesome and that he hopes everything is going well in China. I was grateful for the apology and for the fact that I guess we're on "friend" terms again, but still...come on, man!]

I know all of us tend to get fed up with dramatic girls, but how many of you are done with dramatic boys? Have you ever had a significant other that caused unnecessary drama like this in your relationship?

the charmer

You Might Also Like


Anonymous said...

Maybe charmer you should have just kept your lips to yourself.

Anonymous said...

I understand him being hurt, but oh my word, the drama! I was hurt and offended by all that he said to you. It made me sad, and I wanted to lash out and go on the defensive, and I'm not even you! That's just not cool at all. Glad he apologized, but still. I wanna punch him in the face.

Anonymous said...

Psh! Keep her lips to herself? She isn't a hussy. Ammon is/was a guy she was sincerely interested in! Don't shame her. As for dramatic guys, I have definitely had my share and I was the same way...drop them and walk away. Life is hard enough without spending time with people who say hurtful things when they lash out IMHO.

Anonymous said...

Amen anonymous 3, amen!