Pictures of perfection.

12/29/2013 The Lady 3 Comments

"Pictures of perfection make me sick and wicked." 
                  --Jane Austen

It has been much too long since I wrote last. Apologies, apologies. 

A quick update about Mary and The Bearded Hobbit:

I was quite right about The Bearded Hobbit and his interest in the Nineteen-Year-Old Nuisance. As of a couple weeks before the Christmas break, the two began "officially" dating. Poor Mary. She insists that she isn't much bothered, but she also has asked me more than once why I think the older men in our area tend to date the younger girls. I for one have no answer to give. I repeat: poor Mary. 

Other things to address:

Recently, a reader asked if we find technology to be a help or hindrance to the dating process. In search of a simple answer, I have stewed over this question much longer than was probably necessary. And of course, I have not been able to come up with a simple answer at all. I think that technology can be both a help and a hindrance to dating. 

As much as I love sending and receiving hand-written letters (I truly do love letters), the technology we have is ever so helpful. If I need to contact someone on the other side of the world in a hurry, I have a multitude of means at my disposal. Back in the olden days when I was actually seriously dating men, we could contact each other through seemingly limitless mediums. If my phone was on the fritz (which seemed to happen often back then) we could send each other messages through email, Facebook, etc. All the technology we have is quite brilliant. 

I assume, however, that the question asked was not about how helpful technology is in getting in touch with people, but rather how I view modern modes of dating (aka online dating). 

Ladies and gentleman, please fasten your seat belts.

Due to a creepy experience I had with an online chat room (do those still exist?) when I was a wee lass, I had vowed to never ever be involved with online dating. I was quite hard-nosed about it for years and years, and harshly judged anyone who participated in anything like it. I was convinced there could only be horrible consequences for those who got involved with someone they only knew from online. But after hearing countless tales of what good had come of it for friends and relatives, my heart began to soften slightly.

Online dating is such a regular part of our culture, that it is difficult to condemn it, and I am not certain that condemnation is what it deserves. I think that it provides opportunities for people to meet that other circumstances might never make possible. But with that said, I'm not exactly all for it either. 

In my most personal and most biased opinion, I still never want to be involved in online dating. Yes, I know the rule to never say "never" and yes, I did go through a short Tinder stint, but no more I say! It isn't so much that I think all men to be found on online sites are crummy, fake, or shallow, but it's more about what I've discovered about myself when I've briefly tried online dating/meeting/whatever. 

It is much too easy to be fake. And I am not talking about all the creepers (which definitely exist), I am talking about myself. When chatting or emailing guys online, I feel I am only half myself. I am only the parts of myself that I let them see. My photos are perfectly angled and cropped to only accentuate my best features and effectively hide those flaws I am not too partial to. I am perfectly witty and flirty because I can sit and think about my responses rather than allow the usual awkward babble that tends to escape my lips. Men become interested by the picture of myself that I present to them rather than the reality that I am. And it is not as though I am intentionally manipulative, it is just what happens with online interactions. It just isn't real. At least for me. 

So for my answer to technology and dating: it's a personal choice. It is not for me, but maybe it is for you. Maybe you're not a phony like I am, and maybe you've had great experiences unlike yours truly. Like most things in life, it is a matter of personal taste. 

Oh, be wise. What can I say more? 

Con Amor, 
The Lady

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Introducing: The Home Teacher and The Cousin

12/18/2013 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments





The Home Teacher
It’s hard to describe my Home Teacher. I feel like he’s someone you would over look, but once you do look you’re interested. Sort of the guy next door, but not really. I find this description to be most unhelpful.


The first time he came over to visit we spent an hour discussing literature. The next time he came he brought me chocolate. You can see why I like him right? There’s just one little problem, he’s two inches shorter than me. I won’t even go into the height debate. We’ve beat that dilemma into the ground.

Anyhoo, after sacrament meeting I was talking with one of my friends when he abruptly sat down beside me and said “Hey Blue, wow this is awkward right, yeah sorry I just wanted to see..” and he continues on telling me about the many adventures I needed to be a part of.

If you didn’t find the previous tale to be incredible charming, it is my own fault I can’t seem to describe him how I want to. I guess the best thing to say is he makes me feel comfortable and I happen to be a big fan of comfort nowadays.

Our repelling adventure got canceled (my bad) but we have set some future plans and I’ll let you know how those go.

The Cousin
Before the big reunion date with ol Smitie, he invited me to the movies with his cousin. When I got to the theater they were both seated and ready for the movie. Smitie briefly introduced me to The Cousin that just so happens to also be in my ward.

Confession: For months, I have had the sneaking suspicion that The Cousin and I belonged together. There are no facts to back this up, just a strong desire to kiss his face. 


I pretended to be meeting the cousin for the first time (and the Oscar goes to Bluestocking for feigning indifference) and quickly did a brief I’m-amazing-date-me intro. The previews then kicked off and we immediately began joking and teasing each other. And by we I mean the cousin and me. Do you know those guys who make you feel really funny and clever and you also believe them to be the best thing ever? Well that’s what was going on.

I feel I need to say I did not leave Smitie out of the merriment. 

After the movie, our wit was in full swing and I hate to make too bold of a statement, but I felt better joking with him than how I’ve felt with a guy in a year. 

No joke.

I went there.

But you obviously see the problem. I’m currently going on dates with Smitie. Therefore, The Cousin is off limits…at least for now.

-The Bluestocking

Aaaamen.

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Smitie Returns

12/16/2013 The Blue Stocking 2 Comments

For some reason the persistent RM and Scooters of the world have a way of finding me. Remember Smitie? Well he’s back. After months of him going out of his way to never, and I mean never, talk to me he decided to make an appearance.

Earlier this month I entered Sunday School and Smitie was staring at me. He quickly looked away but not before I recognized The Look. The Look being that glance a boy gives you right before he builds up the courage to do something bold.

After SS I was on my way to Relief Society when he walked by and asked how I was. We did the weird we’re-both-moving-in-opposite-ways-but-you-just-started-a-convo-and-now-we’re-both-walking-backwards. After we moon walked back to each other we stayed in the hallway for a few minutes to chat. This chat made me realize I didn’t completely dislike this guy.

YES he is rather smug and YES he is inconsistent BUT he’s not the jerk I chalk him up to be. We were nearing the end of our catch-up convo when this happens:

Him: "So I know we bailed on each other earlier this year."
Me: (by bailed do you mean you ignored me?) "uhuh."
Him: "But I was wondering…"
Random girl in the ward that was sitting by Smitie in SS: “Blue RS is starting and you need to come to class now”
Me: "Yeah thanks, I’ll be there in a second."
Random Girl: "You need to come now, Smitie you shouldn’t be keeping her. Come on Blue (as she gestures for me to move into the RS room like I’m an incompetent 5-year-old) time for you to come to class."

But it didn’t end there. For the next 5 minutes this girl kept trying to pull me (physically and figuratively) into class while Smitie told her to leave us alone. At one point we just stood there forming a triangle of awkward silence.  Finally she left and he asked me out.

This is just one example of some of the girls in our ward. I’m not accusing her of trying to sabotage Smitie’s ask out because I believe she likes him, but I am hinting at it pretty heavily. One of these posts will probably be dedicated to the boldness/obnoxiousness of the girls in my ward.


This same Sunday, my Home Teacher asked me out to go repelling. You could say I was on a roll. 

-The Bluestocking

P.S. Posts to come: The Home Teacher and The Date with Smitie.

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Picking Up Where We Left Off

12/13/2013 The Blue Stocking 1 Comments

When we left off I was in pursuit of a guy I spent a total of 74 seconds with in a bookstore. Looking back I see that it’s easier to make a perfect man out of 74 seconds than out of months of interaction. I attempted to turn this brief affair into something much lengthier and intimate by stalking the bookstore in which we met. The only result was me proving to being a total creep show.

Story. Of. My. Life.

Fall kicked up and with it brought more guys with even interesting interactions and today we will focus on The Poly. 

Ahh the mysterious Poly.

The weeks following The Poly's and my jaunt around the church were wrought with oddities of all kinds. And for once the oddities had nothing to do with me. Instead I started receiving random grammatically incorrect FB messages from him during and after church. Trying to suppress the inner English Major, I decided to cut the kid some slack. But the messages continued and he was nowhere to be found. Below is a brief excerpt from one of our conversations:

The Poly: “wyd"
The Poly: “?”

I was baffled. Was this code? Could it possible mean "what are you doing" and the “are” was implied?

Me:
Him: “cum over with movies.”

Now I know what you’re thinking, wow this really attractive guy wants to spend time with you. And this is what I was thinking, “I am not going over to some strangers apartment to “watch movies,” I choose life.”

And I get it, I over-reacted, but I really felt weird about the whole thing. The following Sunday I finally saw him in person. And by “saw” I mean I was talking to someone and he came up, elbowed me in the back, said hi, and then left. It’s strange, but whatever.


Our bizarre saga continues, but I’m waiting for something more eventful than a bruised back to update you on.

-The Bluestocking



P.S. More updates to come!

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