voyeuristic admiration

1/29/2013 The Romantic 3 Comments

Do you remember when I termed the phrase "creeper lovin'"?

I was describing the definition to my RS president the other night, and somehow the phrase voyeuristic admiration popped up.

I liked it, so I decided to share. Much more sophisticated right?

Speaking of creeper lovin', I'm full out creeper lovin' on someone in my ward. Yes dear readers, I have moved past the crease, crinkle, and crush stages to full out creeper lovin'.

Who is this fellow, you may ask.

Weeeelll, here's the thing. He's in a band (typical, right?). And they've actually got a pretty big following. Such a big following that I bought some of their music on itunes before I left on my mission.

We spent awhile talking at the first FHE, but I'm afraid I might have made him a little bit nervous when I didn't exactly hide how ecstatic I was on hearing that he's a drummer for one of my favorite local bands. Since then he's come to my Sunday School class a couple of times. But I was never really certain he remembered my name. Which is something I think you need to know in order to get married and have lots of musically talented babies, so I quickly let the dream die.

But then a couple weeks ago he showed up to ward prayer! An unheard of event! And then he came to ward desert night right after where we talked for awhile more.

I decided then, intimidating pocket square be darned (for the sake of a more appealing rhetoric, sometimes I wish I could swear).

So during munch and mingle on Sunday, I talked to him some more. And I arranged for our houses to have breakfast together. During the time we chatted about the delicious waffles we would make at our collabrative breakfast, Pacha pipped in saying he had a scrumptious crepe recipe.

"Well, you aren't invited to our breakfast," The Drummer said this jokingly. But it was serious....

So although I'm trying not to allow myself to hope, over-analyze, or get too excited, I am currently doing all three.

But if only I end up friends with the guy, that's ok with me.

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. I saw this pillow on pinterest....

A gentleman is as a gentleman does.

1/25/2013 The Lady 3 Comments

Earlier this week, I accompanied my roommate to The Boy Next Door's apartment as she had a necessary errand to run concerning ward business. I went with her for two reasons: 1) It is a truth universally acknowledged that girls travel in packs 2)I was determined to say something to The Boy Next Door. Anything. "I like your flannel shirt." "How do you feel about Jane Austen?" "Would you like to marry me?"

A New Method

1/24/2013 The Romantic 4 Comments

A joke on Sunday night to tell fortunes for our FHE activity on Monday night turned out to be quite a fun adventure.

And by telling fortunes, I mean we played that card game where you pick out the four kings (or queens if the tell-ee be a man), assign them names of real people. Then ask questions such as, "Which man will be richest?" "Which will like reading Jane Austen books?", and so on and so forth. You get the answer to the question by drawing cards and subsequently placing them on each King. When the suites match, you have your answer.

Surprisingly, the boys were really excited to play that game. So, fifteen minutes before FHE, I decided to also brush up on palm reading. And by brushing up, I mean googling it. Just to spice things up even a little bit more.

Really it was just a ploy to hold hands with every boy in my FHE group.

Guess what?

It worked.

If only I had the gumption to say something like, "Hmmm, this is interesting... Your palm says you're taking me out on a date Friday night. Who knew?"

Next time.

xoxo
-the Romantic

"Run mad as often as you like, but do not faint"

1/20/2013 The Blue Stocking 4 Comments

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Mostly the bad and the ugly.

1/18/2013 The Lady 0 Comments

Girls are cray. Girls who are looking for husbands are cray. Mormon girls who are looking for husbands are cray. The Queens of Cray. You know it. I know it.

I spend so much time blogging about my own dating experiences that I am sure that I am often overlooking my own flaws and faux pas. The truth of the matter is that sometimes (more often than not) dates are bad or just aren't generally fun. And while my own dating life is going through a bit of a dry spell (I am on the VERY verge of a breakthrough with The Boy Next Door, we almost had a conversation last week and he brushed against me after ward prayer) I would love to hear from you. So my dear gentleman readers, I send out a call for your worst/most awkward date stories. Ladies can be as much to blame (if not more) for all of our singleness. Please write! I would adore hearing from you. (byudates@gmail.com)

Con Amor,
The Lady

On Being a Third Wheel

1/17/2013 The Romantic 3 Comments

My best friend's boyfriend just returned from his travels abroad last semester. And within the first week of the semester, my new room mate has a boyfriend. So in a very few short weeks, I've found myself playing third wheel much of the time.

And I've found that I actually like it.

Here's some tips I've found to make the third wheeling experience not only bearable, but also enjoyable.

1) Make friends with the boyfriend. Talk to them, ask them questions. It's so much less awkward than them just standing around while waiting for your room mate.

2) Find a balance. It is good to make friends with the couple, but don't forget that as much as your room mate loves you, she does want to spend time with her boyfriend. So hang out a bit, but then give them some space.

3) Try not to be jealous. I've been home from my mission since March and I haven't dated anyone very much. So my "person" that I tell good/bad/interesting news to is my best friends. As my friends have dated over the years, I've realized that it's ok not to be their top priority any more, especially if the relationship is serious. Their future spouse should be your number one priority. And on the other end of the spectrum, try not to be jealous of the fact that they have someone to date either. Just because it's not your turn, doesn't mean that it won't not be your turn forever (nice use of a double negative there Romantic).


So there's my two cents, or should I say my third cent (ha... ha...) How do you feel about being the third wheel dear readers?

And now here is my favorite Korean music video on third wheels. Please enjoy. Because I know I certainly do every time I watch it.



xoxo
-the Romantic 

The 5 Stages

1/16/2013 The Blue Stocking 5 Comments

A heroine somewhat prevented.

1/12/2013 The Lady 1 Comments

"But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way."  --Jane Austen {Northanger Abbey}

When girls aren't interested

1/10/2013 The Romantic 1 Comments

Coming to you again, dear readers, by popular demand, another advice post! 

Lately, the girls I have been asking on dates seem to show interest for the first couple of dates and then seem to not show interest. I mean by not showing interest as in, not responding to text messages for a day or two, and if they do, only respond in a few words. Also, when I seek an opportunity to talk to them face to face, the conversation is generally quite short. When I get the feeling that things aren't going anywhere, which I start to feel when the interest starts declining, I try to respectfully back off and provide space so that I am not intruding. Am I correctly assuming that this is a lack of interest and I should move on? The last thing I want to be is stalkerish and/or creepy, hence the reason why I provide space and don't push the issue after the first two or three occurrences of declining interest (or what I feel as declining interest). I also keep the 3 point rule that Zack Oates introduced. 

Dear Mr. Respectful,
I regret to inform you that your assumptions are probably correct. I generally find that what has now been termed the "Zack Oates 3 point rule" is generally true. And now, even though you didn't ask, I'd like to offer a couple explanations as to why this happens (and by this, how a girl's interest can quickly trickle into nothing). Firstly, girls are cowards. We don't like hurt feelings, awkward conversations, or that awful puppy dog look a boy can get on his face when you've crushed his hopes that had been so high only moments before. So instead of telling a guy we're not interested, we just slowly stop answering him.... It's awful. I know. But it happens. (I personally try not to do this...but it's still hard)

 Secondly, and this is something I've experienced lately, the girl was interested, but somewhere between dates one and two, the magic faded. I was so excited to go out with Pacha last semester. I spent the Sunday night after he asked me out just daydreaming about how great it would all be. But then after a few texting conversations and the date, the magic just sort of died. I can't explained what happened. Or why my feeling so unexpectedly changed. Fickle is my middle name I suppose. But that doesn't make Pacha less cool. Or that I value him any less as a person. Sometimes two people are interested in each other, and then sometimes they suddenly aren't. And it's OK. I think that's the biggest lesson I learned last semester. It's ok to not be interested in someone, and it's ok if they aren't interested in you.

Best of luck Mr. Respectful. It's a tough dating world out there, so may the force be with you (the only excuse I have for that poor sign off is spending the break among my four brothers.... I apologize).

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. just in case you're wondering how my love life is going... it's sort of not. There is a cute boy in one of my classes going into architecture. He even sat next to me today, but I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to him ... I've even come up with good topics to discuss so that I can somehow broach a conversation with him.... but alas, maybe next Tuesday?

Forgiveness and Old Boyfriends

1/07/2013 The Blue Stocking 8 Comments

The past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about the idea of forgiveness and where ex-boyfriends figure in. And by thinking about it I mean everywhere I go someone is speaking on the importance of forgiving. Ok ok, I GET IT.

On guys and phone numbers

1/03/2013 The Romantic 5 Comments